Friday, 25 November 2016

He Taught Me How to Fight

Rather.. how to BE, a Fighter
My brother and I.
We are so different, yet similar.
We will both stand up for what we believe in.

Of all my brother's he's really the only one I've ever had conflict with, and by conflict I mean conflicting views

I think it would be fair to say that he was a bit of a bully towards me growing up, and if he's honest he would admit it
He has an amazing intellect and doesn't hesitate to beat anyone with that particular stick, in fact, he totally enjoys it.
( A 'bug bear' of mine. One is best served I feel, when one uses their education to build.. not destroy, to comfort.. not ridicule, to unite and not divide)
Apologies...I digress.

My point is, that he may have actually have given me a very useful gift
and that is..
He taught me how to be a Fighter, and he doesn't even know it

Being the youngest of five, you learn a thing or two
My crime, if you can call it that, was 'to be the youngest'. To be cared for or adored in some circles is also to be considered somewhat ..'spoilt'

To be considered 'spoilt', growing up in a Caribbean household, can make one a target
yet targets... quickly learn how to fight back

Funnily enough, he's actually very funny, and very unique
He still insists on telling me what to do.. and what to think
I know... he really should know better

Our chats look like this at times..
Him: Feminism is crock of shit, women have been conned into the myth of Feminism and have been suffering ever since
Me: I'm a Feminist
Him: Sheeeeet.. you're crazy!
Me: No, but I'm not referring to Feminism as you know it
Him: Bell Hooks can't save you
Me: I don't need Bell Hooks to tell me what my own experiences have been
Him: I can tear feminism apart in seconds
Me: I'm busy
Him: Dont run
Him: Black women need to understand that Feminism was never about them

Me: I'm a Pan Africanist
Him: I love you Sis, but Sheeeet

and so it goes on...

On that particular day, our conversation ended up in all honesty being rather fun and a very interesting debate, until it got personal lol
But it ended well... and wonderfully respectful
He has my back. He's my big bro.

My point.. (and I do have one) is that the people around us really can shape us, those who like us and agree with us, but especially those who don't
Like a Diamond, our true beauty is exposed when we are scraped and robbed of our outer. Only when we go deeper, do we find what's real.
Not everyone may be deserving of that, but to be able to live that way, authentically, is worth it in so many ways.

Fighters tend not to fight for fun
Only when they need to
What a fighter must learn however, is which battles are worth fighting... and those which.. are not
I'm no 'General' ... but I'm learning.

He Taught Me How to Fight - but God Taught Me How to Love

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