It takes a strong woman to be a mistress. Or...a weak one...you decide.
Me? .. I wouldn't 'choose' to be a mistress.. no *f*****g way excuse my French.
What makes it a part of some 'cultures' (patriarchy not culture) is quite simply...money. reading Chimamandas book made me ache, as many of the women didn't even like the men that much. In truth they could have smelled of shit and looked like they just rolled out of bed.. and still...the women would smile.. and say ok.
The reason I'm not sure if it's a strength or a weakness is because more often than not.. the women endure great emotional pain. In between the bouts of joy..feelings of oneness and pleasure.. the gaping hole (no pun intended)knowing he's making love to his wife..etc .. his real wife.. loving her in a way he'll never love another.. isn't funny
Show me a man that could do that and I'll give you a million pounds!
I have issues with it. Part of me sees it as complete female betrayal.. another part thinks something else entirely.
Men in favour of it like to throw the words 'female jealousy' around.. like air freshener.
But it's not that simple.
Men dismiss the female 'ache' because they don't feel it... and perhaps will never understand it truly
It's deep.. and some prefer shallow waters
..and who can blame them huh...
Let me try and explain it... The 'female ache' ...It feels.. like your soul is being ripped out.. no let me put it this way for the fellas... It possibly feels like someone's twisting your dick real hard..round and round..whilst puncing you systematically in the chest.. Whilst tatooing your scrotum.. and to top it off you're hungry as hell as you've had nothing to eat :)
Me?. No, it's not for me. Ive always felt I deserve 'better'.. ( whether that's true or not is irrelevant.. it was simply a feeling I had)... Besides..there's something about being a 'mistresses' however much you dress it.. that seems like a second class citizen.
For some men.. it's status
They're lucky. Some... Are very fortunate indeed.
At least for the women in the book they got something out of it..
That to me seems fair enough... Otherwise.. really...
Maybe... Maybe not
Money?... Makes sense
*just remember ladies jollof rice and a cool beer just ain't enough...*
For others... They just waiting for the right guy... Who will commit.. and put an equal share on the table.. most importantly perhaps...
...and be loyal..
Btw... If God is a woman... Why don't men listen to us more...and do as we say? :-)
*disclaimer* some women say they wouldn't want a'man' full time. Just for occasional fun and company. Not for them the responsibility that comes with being a wife.
How true that is however...is anyone's guess.
Sounds like emotional detachment to me
But I guess in reality...self preservation... Must come 1st.