Starting over in love need not be scary..

I tend to think it's best to completely end one relationship before you begin another although it's not always possible, as sometimes things just tend to happen against what may ordinarily be called rational judgement.
Affairs of the heart are not always rational.

But to engage in two relationships simultaneously is risky. You can't really give a relationship your all, if part of you is still entangled with another person, whether that be physically, emotionally, or both

I always wonder why people continue to see people even after they profess the relationship is over.

To carry 'emotional' baggage into a new relationship can ruin what can potentially be a good thing.. and may result in you losing the very thing you say you want.

It must be difficult to love someone if they are still in part beguiled by someone else.. and to juggle must mean having to make up a whole range of stories (untruths)which in the end may make you appear un-trustworthy, deceitful, and a bit well...flaky.

and that applies to men and women..
Sure..starting over can be scary.. having to 'date' someone new.. wondering if they'll like you!.. getting up close and personal for the 1st time!!.. letting someone see you as you really are.. all your imperfections!!..yes all nerve racking 'stuff' but..it's also exciting .. isn't it?

Have you ever been the juggler or the juggled.. how did that feel?
Did it compromise your integrity?
Or was it a whole lot of fun;-)

Old Spice??..would love to know if sales have gone up!!

I like the UK 'Old Spice' ad but this one is bloomin' nuts!!;-)
I'm an Armani Code fan on guys myself.. can't quite remember the scent of O.S

Charming the in- laws?

Charming your mother in law.. or your in laws in general is probably one of the things that most people hope will go right. Clearly, this will depend on many things.. the relationship your other half has with his or her parent/s.. your age, their age etc...and,importanatly, the level of influence the in laws have on your partners.

If they have a lot of influence, and you don't get on with them , or they don't like you, that could be a problem!

This story funnily enough almost has me siding with the mother in law a bit.. based on what I've read so far anyway..

Basically a man took his fiance to visit his mother, and.. (unimpressed) his mother later sent a email highlighting what she considered to be his fiances flaws and bad manners.

Perhaps she could have spoken to her son face to face but seems like this modern age has us doing things slightly differently now

When I read it I thought.. hmmm..now this chap should know his mother by now!! and therefore should have either warned his girlfriend(listen.. make an effort..mums a bit fussy.. etc) or warned his mother ( listen.. she's a bit rough.. or .. free spirited!).. either way.. frosty time ahead for him!

Never mind.. I don't know many people that don't have a bit of friction with their in laws'
For better/for worse an all that!!
But if it were me.. I'd want him to defend me!! or he'll get nagged to high heaven!!..

I hear Beyonce was amazing at Glasto!! ..

B has so many greats tracks but I especially like these two!!...

OMG Federer's out!! tournament's over now!! Wimble-done!

I love to watch Nadal but always root for Federer! how can you not? ;-)

Captains log.. stardate 29/6/11

Whilst music will always be an outlet for me.. truth is .. today I feel a bit down.

A few days ago someone told me I don't have a 'culture'. I don't have a language ( so English is clearly not a language in their eyes! I don't have a food.. eh???) and in fact I'm not very Black at all?!?..
Ordinarily I would fight my corner.. but I was tired.

Last week my sons cat was ill so I booked a cab to go to the vet. 5mins into the journey the driver asks.. "where are you from??"
now I've mentioned before that i get asked that a lot so you probably wont be surprised by that, so.. I told him the story. my parents are form the Caribbean I was born here blah blah blah..

No !" he said .. "where are you from?" (He by the way was from Zimbabwe/South Africa)
I repeated my story...but he asked again!! I talked about the African Diaspora but no.. he asked again...until I got so confused I wasn't sure where the hell I was from, or even where i was going for that matter!:-).. oh yeah.. cat=vet.

So why do I feel down??..
Not sure.. I think I'm a bit tired of always having to explain myself, defend my position, have my motives and intent questioned, under scrutiny, under the spotlight, analysed, a subject for much 'pondering'!
Tired of .. as I said earlier, having to fight my corner..
It would be nice to be accepted for who I am and not be judged through skewed and distorted lens..
I'm 42.. it hasn't happened yet

You know some people get to live their entire lives free from all that. All I'm asking for is just -one-day.
I'm such a straightforward person it's unreal.. just a regular girl..with regular desires..but.. life and it's inhabitants make it all sooo complicated at times

*normal service will resume after this moan.. after all .. our experiences help to shape us.. and may serve us well in future endeavours !!'

These two have grown on me over the years!!.. Jill Scott & Jennifer Hudson..

Mid week rap fav's..turning back the clock!!!

This video is something else!..

Oceans apart...

I'm in a fairly relaxed and reflective mood tonight..
Got me thinking that some of the best evenings I've have been when I've been able to just chill in bed with the radio.. and really listen to a song in it's entirety.

This song reminds me of someone who despite going our separate ways, and the fact that I find him somewhat irritating, in the end, will always be rescued by the fact that he sang this song, beautifully... as if he wrote it himself. Gave it to me on a tape when we first met( young love!!.. do people still do that??))..and thinking back.. that may have been the only time he was ever really himself. The song was able to bring out a side to him that everyday life never could.

It was, in my eyes, the best of him... and a nice memory for me
So..this song will always remind me of that day.. It's a lovely simple, uncomplicated song

David Gray..

Vid is actually quite relaxing!!



Was a time I was so loving this tune.. haven't heard it in awhile so thought I'd locate it.. re-live a few memories.. his drummer's something else..he seriously loves his drum kit

When I see your face..

When I see your face I wonder if I really see you
The joy and pain suppressed by a smile
The framing of a journey lived solely through your eyes
The simplicity of eyes and skin a nose a moth
Belies the complexity of the brain

When I see you I wonder if you will always be
Able to retreat behind that face
That place of safety
That makes me love you
As I trace my hand over the contours of your face
To lie beside you
Makes me wonder
If I really see you

Russell Kane..has funny bones!!..

Dad.. "I'll be in the shed!!"

Who you gonna call??

It's always great to have someone in your life who you can rely on to tell you to get a grip!

Someone you can moan at in the happy knowledge that they will be objective, wont spill the beans, or get upset, and will never hold you hostage to it.. Someone wise who will offer sound unbiased advice

Someone who will boost you up on the one hand, but the moment you step out of line and act stroppy or ridiculous - they'll let you know.

Got a gripe?, grab the phone and get it off your chest, then Bingo!!!
All is Right in the world
Order restored :)
My sister's great

I think that one of the most effective ways of getting things into perspective, building a clear focus, whether it's a problem or just something that your unsure of, is to talk it through. Not everyone has that and can become really stressed as a result, makes you appreciate those closest to you even more!

Nice end to a nice day..

Life is transient.. make of it what you will.

Gabrielle.. sunshine..

Preparing dinner today accompanied by this song made it all so easy, and so much more fun!!



Then I remembered I fell asleep and missed Bridget Jones Diary last night.. so found this to make up for it..
Have a lovely day!

Should a woman ever ask a man out?!?

I recently had a conversation with a very old friend about this and it got me wondering whether old fashioned norms still applied or if we are now in an age where anything goes.

If I like a guy, I'll ask him out. sure .. why not? If he said yes great.. if he said no, OK .. I'd move on (at least I know, and can focus my energy elsewhere:))

The reason I switched from waiting to asking is because I wanted to let guys who wouldn't think I'd like them , know that actually.. maybe I would.

I don't think I'm uber scary or uber sexy but.. some men do seem to get a little nervous
with me.. anyway ... it's exciting to ask.. switch things up a bit!!

My friend on the other hand says no.
A woman should never ask a guy out. Men don't like it, and even if they don't like you they'll say yes, but leave you hanging!! ( because they haven't yet developed the skills to say no in a way that wont hurt your feelings)

She says if a woman asks a guy out it makes her look either easy or desperate, and that if a man really likes a woman he'll find a way to ask her, regardless of how 'shy' he may be..

Hmmm what do you think ?
To be honest, she may have a point.. but life is short.. blink and it's over.. so even though her way may hold sand, I still don't see anything wrong with a woman casting her net ( unless of course she's casting it over someone I want or have... then... its warrrrrr!!!)
Seriously.. I like strong, secure men anyway.. so if something like that scares them ..they're not the one!!.. so it's also a great, and quick way of weeding out the wrong type;-)
Happy SMSx

Dalston Rocks!!

Gotta love Dalston on a Saturday afternoon..
I used to think Brixton was noisy but I tell you what .. Dalston'll give B a run for it's money anyday!!
Some militant gospel youths out and about now.. all mic'ed up with speakers!!
Real passionate

A girl made me laugh today..
"People of Dalston!!" she shouted "Listen to me..
Right now you're walking past like you're 'perfick'.. you aint 'perfick'..
You're out there fornicatin', and I want to tell you.. you're going to hell!!"
Just what you wanna hear after a hard working week... ;-)

Picked up 3 packs of saltfish for a fiver.. I think that was a bargain ( probably has the nutritional value of a Nat actually.. I must check that out!)
Anyway..every little helps.. to coin a phrase

Misty Morning..

Yes it is at the mo - kinda gloomy looking..slighty damp.. I hear it'll be nice later and tomorrow though so enjoy your weekend all..

I do love these two tunes - they sound really great outdoors. Don't hear them that often..
They're not the tunes they tend to play on Magic or Heart radio.. Come on djs.. Bob's got 'loadsa great tunes!!'

"Goood morning London Town"..and as someone told me last week.. Be good! - and if you can't be good be careful- and if you cant be careful...buy a pram!

My lovely readers I hope you had a great week - doing what you do!!..enjoy..

Nice song..Nice Vid JLo...Fridayyyyyyx

Sex and the City..

SATC's showing at 7pm on Comedy Central weekdays. Being able to watch it as I have my dinner is a real treat right now.

A very sad episode is when Aleksandr Petrovsky ( Carries boyfriend ) leaves her to fend for herself in Paris.
He Treats her like a spare part, as if she doesn't matter, and shows little to no interest.

She walks by a bookshop and sees her book in the window, and once inside, the bookshop owners are absolutely thrilled to see her as they're her biggest fans and promptly decide to throw a party in her honour that coming Saturday.

Her bloke (who has blanked her all week remember) then insists she comes with him to his gallery opening on that same Saturday as he's having a *panic attack* and needs her there for support

He promises never to let go of her hand all night, but as soon as they get there and he realises that people like his exhibition he lets her go immediately... oh-yes.. he drops her like a hot potato and doesn't look back..once!

At that moment she realises he doesn't give a damn about her.
She rushes to get to the bookshop.. but ... she's too late.

My question is this
Ladies; would you have dropped your plans for him, under those circumstances?
Why did he do that to her?
Was he insecure?
Was he an asshole?
or did he just not love her?

I do absolutely love SATC
He was the worst boyfriend ever!!
and he hit her.

One of my favourite moments of the series is when Carrie says;
"I'm looking for love.. real love.. real..ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, cant live without each other love!..
and I don't think that love is here..in this beautiful suite.. in this expensive hotel.. in Paris..!!
It's not your fault... I- shouldn't have come here..
Beautiful words, beautiful!

I sooo hear that girl...
If it aint ridiculous, if it aint inconvenient, if it aint consuming can't live without each other love.. damn.. it aint worth it!!

Trevor Hartley Trevor Walters revival selection..

He's funny!!.. 'the cockney walk' ;-)

The black middle class??..

There's a term I've heard 'banded' about for a little while now and it gets on my nerves abit..
It's ' The Black middle class'

What is that?
I have never ever thought of myself in terms of what class I am (seems un-couth..not cool)anyway.. why would I?

I doubt that my parents were ever thought of in those terms either. They were.. (in the eyes of many) black immigrants, from the West Indies.

To be honest, at that time they were probably considered the lowest of all that is British, too low to even be allocated a place in the (practically defunct)English class system, until of course it became evident they weren't going anywhere, by which time the powers that be, decided to lump them all together with the white working classes, or 'underclass'... no questions asked; regardless of their education or skills, or 'status' held in their country of origin.

Cool.. 'no problem mon'

So...as if we didn't have enough problems, someone has gone and thrown this complete myth into the pot and stirred well. I alluded to it in my earlier post ( Oxbridge) The reason I say this is because once you're 'black', that's' it. Does anyone really care how much money you earn?.. maybe.. but you're still black. I don't see how 'black people' can ever really fit into the English class system because racism will never allow an accurate representation or level playing field.

Social mobility will usually be made more difficult, because of racism. on average your earnings will probably be less, because of racism, which means that... everyone else would have already ran one lap by the time the starter pistol went off for you... and it's an 800m race!

OK, (I'm not a pessimist ;-)...let's say we've moved on. Some of us have nice jobs, and many earn good money blah blah. that's' great , that's good.. we love that..but.. if we begin to believe that somehow there's a black middle class, it then follows that there's a black upper class, and a black lower class. Is there? really?..Or are there people who despite the injustice, have still made it through.

The majority, for a whole host of reasons,wholly unconnected to ability or aspiration, may not be that fortunate, and I would argue that the road can be traced back to racism and the encounters thereof.

I think that here, in the UK, especially us 2nd and 3rd generation, need not the trappings of 'imagined' hierarchy... we're good thanks.. aren't we?..

Is Oxbridge Overrated?

Possibly
That the vast majority of our leaders appear to have been schooled there and given the state of our country's economic situation, global reputation, and apparent inability to really provide a meritocratic and non discriminatory society (if they even want that!) I would say.. arguably.. highly overrated.

Maybe we (and I know I’m generalizing as maybe you don’t but for those of us who do.. and the media definitely appear to) should stop ooing and ahhing over these institutions in the way that we do (I do a bit – if I’m honest... but less so now!)
Reason being, for me, education is not just about qualifications. Can’t be, as I’m sure there are a lot of ‘educated’ people who are ...well... quite ridiculous...:)

Maybe local state schools really do need a makeover. Bring in the education equivalent of Gok Wan:)

It may help if these schools really began to believe they are just as good as any other highly funded school in the country – and deliver!
Despite the issues/barriers that our young people face in certain areas ( overcrowding, lack of resources etc) if they can do that…deliver.. and many do.. They will be outstanding in my book!!

I do think that education should also be about learning how to become a decent human being. Learning how to live amongst your fellow man in a way which promotes and induces a love for humanity, and an abhorrence of greed and discriminatory thought and practice, is a wonderful ideal.
Do our government polices reflect that?

Forget class, it doesn’t exist!, only if you make it so. Trust me, click you heals 3 times and say it aint so. It’s designed to fool you, confuse, you, and suppress you. I really doubt anyone who has met me has ever thought about what class I am. Colour yes. It’s the 1st thing people see, How they then treat me, will be both a reflection of experiences they’ve had with people of my colour, and pre conceived ideas they have, beliefs (they may try to suppress) of people of my background, and to be fair that can be positive, or negative.
How they treat me, may also be dependant on what I can do for them, the level of importance they place on what I have to say or offer Possibly..at 1st.. impressions and ideas can change.
(it's food for thought)

Anyway.. I digress!! I read this article and thought, even if this youngster decided he didn’t want to go to Cambridge due to the lack of a music scene would it be so wrong?
Why should he not want a well balance life with varying interests?
(Not sure what I’d say if he were my child but I applaud his courage, conviction and individualism)
Can a person not be intelligent and love rap? – or reggae? or whatever else kind ‘grime ‘music they may be into?
Perhaps, just perhaps, our leaders create policies that discriminate unintentionally.

It can happen. Maybe, they've not had the benefit of a varied life in terms of a diverse social scene and exposure to people from various backgrounds, people who survive without much money to live on.
Maybe they would be more compassionate, if they had friends who had experienced great hardships, fell in love with people who come from poor backgrounds, or people whose father was an east end gangster, eel seller, market trader, mechanic… mother was a waitress, stripper, cashier in Tesco’s.
You understand what I’m trying to say here?
Someone should print a t-shirt.
Logo.."I didn’t go to Oxbridge… but I’m doing O-K!"
Cut me in on the royalties and we’re good to go!!

Why social class has no place at parents evening.. response to voice article..

Whilst I understand Dotuns point.. see voice online up to a point!! - I'm afraid I'm also going to disagree.

I think we need to move away from the need to feel 'better than' other people, and this curious need that some have to prove they're 'somebody' and not a 'raggamuffin' as he puts it... is tiresome.

In my opinion, a teacher should treat all parents regardless of their class, status, educational background or race...with respect.

Stop discrimi-hating!!

If anyone should feel the need to 'prove themselves' at parents evenings maybe it should be the teachers? (I must just point out I don't think that's the point of parents evenings but...)

You're in their school for chrissakes.. it's a bit like inviting someone to your home and complaining they didn't feed you!!
Err.. your house.. do your thing!!

I don't agree that we should look down our nose at the less fortunate among us.. as you can be sure.. someone..somewhere will be looking down their nose at you..

It cant be pleasant!

And bizarrely..It also seems to be the underlying theme of Dotuns article.. the fear and annoyance of being looked down on.
Some parents do struggle at parents evening due to the fact that they may have limited education themselves, feel insecure and unable to express themselves the way they would like to .. and in a way that 'others' would find acceptable.

I don't think a parent should be expected to know a subject inside out to get 'respect' from a teacher at all.. great if you do.. but let's be real about this..

Whilst we as parents really do need to encourage our children in every way

Respect should be not be denied due to social class.

Many children live in overcrowded homes (no fault of their own) many live below the poverty line...again.. (no fault of their own) yet still are able to get to school, and do very well..
If these children then witness their parents being disrespected or disregarded by teachers it could have very dire consequences for that family.

Teachers are paid.. not to judge parents.. but to teach children. Of course we need them to sound the alarm if there is ever a serious cause for concern- but that aside .. we want our children to reach their full potential and exit with the qualifications they will so desperately need for the future..

By the way..what exactly, is speaking more 'white'?
Somebody tell me..
lardamercy!! (oopps...guess I better not be dropping that kinda lingo over the teachers desk!!:)
raggamuffins..can't take 'em anywhere!!!

If this was the only..

Recent reports of Amys latest performance weren't great but.. it happens I guess
If however there was one song that really stands out for me it's this.. it's beautiful.
Musicians can be a complicated bunch..

Kiss..

When is a kiss just a kiss?
Can you tell a lot about a person from the way they kiss?
Today for my SMS, I wanted to talk about the simple art of kissing, and whether or not for most of us they can make or break a budding relationship.

For example.. girls.. if you meet a nice guy and he's everything you feel you could want but he's not a very good kisser, will you stick it out, or will it put you off?

Do men put as much importance into kissing as us girls do? or is it just women.. heck .. is it just me?
A good kiss is everything I think. I honestly believe that when the kissing stops the relationship tends to go downhill soon after.. at least.. it may be a sign that something is wrong!.

Not everyone likes kissing I know.. but, if the person is into it, just doesn't enjoy it with you, that could be a big problem.

So..What constitute a good kiss?
Well.. *blushes* one that is soft, yet firm, juicy but not sloppy, one that like a concerto.. builds in momentum and fervor!!
Please don't laugh .. I'm trying to be serious discrete and informative at the same time.. which isn't easy:)

One that warms you up, and blinds you to everything else for that moment..
I think a good kiss can tell you whether there's something there.. or not

Eyes open or closed?
Damn.. stop freaking people out and close your eyes I reckon.. heightens the sensation!!
Happy SMSx

Cornrows in Court!!....

Since when did cornrows become a gang related hairstyle?

I'm glad the judge ruled against this school as I think it was blatantly racist to suggest that simple plaits somehow could equate to being in a gang.

It's plaits for crying out loud!!!

Seems to me that exceptions are made for a number of cultures when it comes to school uniform - but if you're of African or Carribean heritage perhaps your 'culture' isn't viewed as credible enough to warrant any adaptions to uniform

I remember many moons ago when I was at secondary school after a while I began to wear a head wrap daily (kept it black to fit my uniform) - they said "take it off!" -I said "Why?.. then ..no!" - asked them why they allowed the Muslim girls to cover their hair but not me - they said take it off - I said no
The outcome wasn't great :-)..

What do you think?.. do you think that when it comes to school uniform everyone should adhere to it regardless - or do you think that reasonable adaptions should be made in recognition of religious or cultural reasons?

Alicia Keys.. I'm ready...

Still lovin' this tune !!!.. and another two hot fav's to singalong to...

"How could you ever forget to be my love...??."

If I had to do it all again...

Songs for a rainy Friday evening!!..enjoy..blessed another week!!

Fathers...how many of us had them??

Fathers day is approaching and Barak Obama has written an Essay on being a father.. you can read an excerpt here
I was fortunate in that I grew up with both parents and they had a happy marriage. My own children were not so fortunate in that I don't think they ever really felt the benefits of living with both parents, as when we were together, they were still quite young, and if I were happy I would still be there!

Personally, I think I was right to take the decision I took as I don't subscribe to the 'any father is better than no father' school of thought...but they may never really know.. and they shouldn't have to I guess.

I do wonder about men though and why( if they grew up without a father ) they would repeat the pattern.

I don't believe you should remain in an unhappy relationship because you have children - but the love you have for them should fuel you to be the best parent you can be regardless of your location.

Women are commonly blamed.. often accused as using the children as a stick to beat men with when things go wrong... but we need balance.. we need to acknowledge the fact that that there are some men that if.. the woman no longer loves them, or wants to remain in a relationship with them, they will (perhaps out of spite) refuse to help out or play their part!

However...I'm begining to think that women hold the key to the solution.

I for one could never, and will never date a man who is not a good father. There is no greater turn on for me than a good father. (slight exaggeration.. but you know what I mean!!) If he has children, I need to know that he's there for them , and if he doesn't have his own, I need to know he has the qualities that should he ever choose to be, he would be a great father.

I have children. Grown up yes, but they are, and will always be, my children. I will therefore need to know that my man will be a good, positive influence around them .. a decent kind of man that they can and will respect, as he respects not only me, and them... but himself and others also.

'Bad fathers' in my opinion are lost men. Men who have stalled in their personal and spiritual development and need a helping hand. Some are too stubborn perhaps to seek help, others may think it's cool to be 'worthless'

It is said that absentee fathers are more prevalent in the black community... if that is true, there may be reasons for this. For example, black men have been systematically marginalised, blighted by racism, failed by an education system that (in the 70's especially) was unable to comprehend cultural differences. They have felt the 'strong arm..and foot of the 'law'.. endured sus laws and stop and search, they are less likely to secure well paid jobs, are therefore often significantly disavantaged economically which can impact on their ability to fully embrace the role as head of a family .

Perhaps...

For despite all the bullshit.

I still refuse to believe that the colour/shade of your skin, can determine your ability to be a father...men are not powerless!!

No..men need to ask themselves some very searching questions.
Women too..

Questions like..
Is this the man I would like to be the father of my children?..
Would I like my son to grow up to be like this man..?
If this woman gets pregnant can I afford to support her emotionally and financially?
Would I even want too?

Experience can teach us wisdom, our 'mistakes' are not necessarily mistakes but an opportunity for growth and to discover who we really are..

Either way, as fathers day approaches it will be bittersweet in that my own 'children' - despite the fact that they see their fathers, will have missed out on a full time dad...and despite being loved, and even in the knowledge that as time goes by they will have a positive male around them, good friends, and a happy mum

I'm sure a part of them always wonder.. what if ?!?
What did .. I miss??

Garden update..and how lovely words beat caffine any day of the week!!!

I've been so tired the past few days I feel I must look like a zombie..
Yet... despite how I feel.. I was given the most beautiful compliment today that I was lost for words (which is kinda rare)honestly.. I was.. no.. am.. so happy

Gave me all the energy I needed to get through the rest of the day..

Then..5mins into getting in.. my mum and brother popped round to drop off some bits..which was cool as I needed her advice on when I could pick my 'greens'.. wanted to show her how well I've been doing... It turns out my 'greens' are actually broccoli.. I said.. "When can i dig them out?" .. she said "look.. that's the broccoli there!! ..it grows over ground!!"

Rahtid..sure enough.. there they were.. lardamercy 'city girl' for real..

She then went on to show me that all the weeds I've been cultivating(I couldn't remember what I planted so wanted to play safe) are actually strangling my carrots.. she told me the 'flowers' I picked off my apple tree were the apples!! and then went on to show me how to prune the dead flowers off the rose bush..or I wont get more flowers!!

What the f***!! ...I thought I was doing so well..seriously.. I've got allot to learn!
I now have to tidy it all up..tired or not.. mother!!!! It has to be nice!!!

Shite!!! I'm grateful for her wisdom but... arrrrrrrhIt'll have to wait til tomorrow..
I need a hug

Anyway.. Buju anyone???

Faux pas

So Boris Johnson's cultural strategy manager quit today over shoplifting comments.. I doubt he was serious..maybe he just forgot where he was.. thought he was at a dinner party with friends or maybe he was just too fed up to play diplomatic games..

you can read the story here

Although I would say I'm fairly tactful..I can often say the wrong thing – be a bit ditsy..or put my foot in it so to speak.. yep.. I can be straight to the point, honest, but never with the intention to cause cause hurt or harm... but... a moment that stands out for me was when I bumped into a woman I know on my way to get a newspaper, and after exchanging pleasantries I said .. "ahhh..!!" stroked her belly affectionately and continued.. "when’s it due??"
She said ...stone faced..."I'm not pregnant"

You could have knocked me down with a feather.. her belly had that 'pregnant belly' look to it.. I'm sure I even said "really??.. are you sure?!?" I was confused and it was written all over my face!!..turned out that it was just belly.
I was sooo embarrassed..
I've heard about those things happening to people but I never thought it would happen to me

I didn’t know what to say so ..I shrugged it off 'no big thing stylee'..with a "Oh.. never mind... OK..."anyway...blah blah..blah..
I couldn't wait to get away.. and I suspect she couldn't wait to see the back of me!!

Why worry??..

It dawned on me today that whilst i'm much better than I used to be .. I still have a way to go when it comes to worrying!!
Oddly, I'm able to advise others in such a way as to relieve their worry somewhat, help them to change their mindset, feel more optimistic, and feel generally much calmer and better about things..

It's second nature to me now. 'don't worry.. it'll all come good in the end!!'..

I sent a message like that to someone today.. then, as if almost for the 1st time ever, I actually heard myself, as though someone was saying it to me!! and .. hey presto.. it worked.. I felt instantly better

Why do some of us at times find it so hard to listen to ourselves?

The moral of this tale?
Sometimes it's good to take your own advice!!.. calm down and listen to your gut!!

My Makeda.. yeah!!! ..Morgan H

Now I'm ready for the week..tune!!;-)

If...

If I can I will trust you completely
I will make no excuses or keep no secrets
I will be open and honest
Never withholding the truth
Never to deceive or be deceived
Neither token use of platitudes to console you
Or heartless gestures
No
I feel you

If I can I will always respect you
I will support your endeavors absolutely
I will believe in you as you believe in me
And always keep the faith
I will understand your need for space and time
Just as you
Undoubtedly
Understand mine

If I can I will always love you
I will seek no other over you
Desire only you
Neither behind your back or to your face disrespect you
Forgetting the promises I made
Vowed to uphold
Before god and man
Yes I will
If I can
I can
So I will

SMS .. Saying it in song!!.. enjoy!! ft Erykah Badu/Common/Lauryn Hill/Stephen Marley/Bob Marleyx

'Ode to Reggae n Hip Hop'

Honouring Jackie Mittoo.. reggaes keyboard king..classic - enjoy!!

A few interesting documentaries on issues of skin lightening, IMF/Jamaica and class..

Peetah Morgan & Busy Signal..

Lyrics Peetah.. "Bloodsucking vampires - yow it's all about dem
all when the yout' a bawl fi food dem careless me frien'...

"It's unfair to we.. say that you love we - say you care for we.. a false promises you come deh preach to we .. cause all I can see is poverty.. slavery guaranteed!!".. singalong peeps!!!... Gooood mornrnning Lonnnddoonn!!
Let's change the picture - fight all oppressors - new day - new dawn :-)

On a revival tip tonight - Alton Ellis. anyone miss a good house party?.. blackout blinds and raving into the next day - or so i've heard ;-)

Dennis Brown.. Crown Prince of Reggae.. Gone but not forgotten!! From love has found it's way.. or an earlier Dennis classic!!

Afro Hair & Beauty Blow.. oopps..sorry..I mean Show.!!.

The Afro Hair and Beauty Show apparently celebrated 30 years this year. ( Happy 30years!) I've always felt this show has been a way of celebrating Afro Hair and well errr...Beauty.. ;-) and that said - it hopefully provides a source of inspiration and pride. I was quite surprised therefore to hear that the organisers felt that a skin bleaching stall was an appropriate stall to have at such an event..
A move that in my opinion..was..quite frankly... disrespectful.

To say that you're catering for the needs of all is a cop- out. An event such as this is an ideal opportunity to send a positive message that dark skinned people do not need to bleach their skin. This is not about acne. from what I can see the stall didn't have a banner saying "Get rid of your acne here!!".. No - it's saying 'Fair and White'.

Most people who have problems with acne go to the doctor.
Those who feel the pressure to conform to the misinformed ideology that lighter is better - those who want to fit in - think it will make them prettier or more handsome - bleach.
Now - I'm not saying that the Afro Hair and Beauty Show should fix all the ills of the BME community - what I am saying however is they should be responsible in the message they send out.

30steps forward - 30steps back!

Jah Cure - Before I leave..

Protests over new Playboy Club in London

So - a new Playboy Club celebrated it's big launch yesterday.
Is it outdated?
Is it sexist?
Many believe it to be so.. but let's not kid ourselves that we don't live in a sexist society.

Oddly enough - the club itself doesn't bother me.
Maybe it's because the women who work there choose too.

Now I may feel differently tomorrow .. ( I reserve the right to change my mind) but today?..not fussed
Times are tough - and it's a job
I hope they are well paid.. it can't be easy

Some may say it's demeaning.. look at the outfits they've got to wear..it's silly
Well.. look at the 'acceptable' everyday office uniform/outfit

For some ..that may look pretty silly too!
Each to their own

How do you know if you’re in love?

The question ‘how do you know if you’re in love’ is one of those questions that is always really difficult to answer – but I thought I’d try anyway and maybe if you feel like it.. you can submit some thoughts of your own!!

I think that when you’re in love you just know with almost unexplainable surety that what you feel for a person is beyond that of friendship and beyond that of mere attraction.
It’s an almost spiritual awareness that engulfs you – cloaks you with feelings of
1. Being in the right place
2. Acceptance
3. Completeness
4 Safety

You know that you can trust that person - enough to share your deepest thoughts.
You enjoy being with that person – and feel a void when they’re not there.

You forgive them their failings - and know that you would never do anything to harm them.
Their well- being becomes equally as important to you as your own.
Despite perhaps having love options or choices... you choose them
No one to you is more beautiful – or handsome in your eyes
You feel – as though you’ve found what you’ve always wanted.
You fancy them like crazy – and they are your best friend.

You may feel sick-confused-elated-anxious-and completely and utterly happy..all at once!

***

Relationships can be hard work - and can fail if neglected
You have to put in the effort.. but it shouldn't feel like an effort!
Commit yourself fearlessly

With that in mind - I feel its best therefore to start with a strong foundation
What stronger foundation is there than love
Happy SMSx

Half Pint..revival selection

Spent a few hours in the Library.. daydreamed..alot..watched the BMWs and various other splendid lookng convertibles drive by thumping out various tunes/vibes... on 1 level.. loud.. I then heard what reminded me of this tune.. after which it it got stuck in my head and wouldn't leave..
It's not easy to study in the heat.. in the heart of Hackney..
Plan B?
Back yard it is!!!

Ludacris.. for the summer breeze..summer heat..

Do da dance this summer!!!

Shake off your worries this summer if you can..
Let's unite through music..( I can't understand a word!!!!) other than do da dance;-)
p.s ..Gyan needs to play for Arsenal!!! seriously.

Technological Meltdown..

My laptops are up the creek - stereo's bust.. I'm off to bed:-(

Hope you all had a productive week..the sun was beautiful

Virginity Tests?? in 2011

A story caught my attention today - and it got me thinking..

Can religion be blamed for the way in which some women are mistreated in homes and nations around the world?
Has religion replaced common sense and humanity?... shouldn't it be the opposite?

If there were no religious scriptures.. how would we treat each other?.

Over the years I've met a few non religious - agnostic - atheist people - and..despite what some may think.. they were pretty nice people. Able to 'function', treat people with love and respect and operate in a logical way... ( no religious doctrine required) On the flip side I've met some very religious people - those who end almost every sentence in praise of their god.. and sometimes.. hmmm. they have turned out to be not very nice folk.

Now this is not a judgement either way. I know everyone has great and not so great traits. Myself included! However... I would say that religion.. (In my opinion) should enhance a person in very wonderful ways...develop an individual to become a person who emits love and has admirable qualities.
Has religion become a screen in which to hide our crap behind?
Do we now exploit our beliefs in the way we now eploit other things?
Can't you go to hell for that?? ;-)lol

My question is.. Should religion be used as an excuse to subjugate/oppress women?
Virginity f*****g tests? pardon the pun... in 2011?? ..am I missing something?
No..That... is not cool.
You can read the Guardian Article here

Puppet dancing to Afro Beats..

The puppet can dance better than me!!! :-(
;-)

Comment for Change..!!!

The recent shooting outside Stockwell tube station both upset and got me thinking in equal measure.I'm deeply sorry for the families of anyone involved.

Other than why? why? why?.. my thoughts again turned to what can be done to make a change.

I don't believe people are born bad. But somewhere along the way - some have learnt to be heartless - have forgotten how to care - Get caught up - caught out and can't get out.. who knows.. I don't get it!.

I sometimes wonder where the parents are when I see youths of 11, 12 13 upwards hanging around on the streets late at night.

I asked that question and was told - 'Well.. some parents are on the streets too.. doing whatever...'
Someone else said 'It's poverty - and lack of opportunity!'
Another said - The parents don't know..

If i'm honest I currently don't talk to the youths as much as I used too.. and that's sad.. it's just that - I don't know what's going on..the rules of the game appears to have changed.. the sand has shifted from under the feet of us adults - and we need to get back on a firm footing again.

Anyway .. the point of this post is to gather comments from as many of you as possible on what you think we as members of a wider community can do to make things better.. not only in the UK but communities in other countries too!. Bitesize comments are fine.. nothing too long - workable soundbites if you like..

I'd like to do something with the comments at some point - not sure what yet.. but it's like what they say... strength in numbers.

Maybe - if enough people comment it can be like a bill of rights ;-) Something to inspire - guide - and protect. I know we have laws but I mean... more like a Community Charter - a guide to strong thriving Communities... but coming directly from the people - not governments. Real - meaningful stuff!.

We are after all... interconnected. We need each other.

How can we build better, stronger, loving , and vibrant communities.. where young and old (and anyone in between) can feel valued and safe?

So.. I'll kick things off..here are 5 things.. you don't have to ponder too long - just brainstorm it out;-) I did..

1. If you're a parent - try and be the best parent you can be... if you're struggling - seek help ( there's no shame in it).. don't suffer in silence..

2. As above - just try to be the best... person you can be.

3. Watch less TV

4 Never aim to hurt or harm anyone - always treat another with respect and love..

5. Let's remove derogatory terminology from the vernacular please.. we don't like it when used against us!!.. let's not do onto others..

Over to you..
Comment for Change!!

Hmmm. what can I say?!? ;-) Is a change of heart imminent?? lolx..what's that I hear??.. is that the melting of ones heart?!? enjoy..

Damn - just when I had it all figured out. Grrrrr x :)

Got to balance hard times with good times;-) ever the eternal optimist - a few favs' Aaliyah ..Brownstone..& SWV..enjoy.. & enjoy that sunSHINE!!!:-)

..did you sleep on wrong side? i'm catching a bad vibe!!!..tune





Brownstone...


SWV.. Right here!!

The Coalition Governments new Anthem!!.. Hard Times...Pablo Gad...

Blair had 'Things will only get better'.. Nick and Dave.. what else can we say..??
Next Tory/Lib Conference this is the tune for you.. keeping it real..
It would make the perfect soundtrack for George Osbornes entrance don't ya think?...(may need editing for obvious reasons!!any DJ's out there up for a remix?/clean version?)Pablo Gad still around?

Government cuts pick on the weak and the vulnerable

It's becoming increasing difficult to see how we here in the UK can take the moral high ground as a nation against other nations who we may view as un-Democratic and autocratic - when increasingly... here...we 'don't treat our people right!'

Public sector cuts to services that help and support the vulnerable - such as mental health charities will reduce the care they're able to give (at best) and in some cases bring the fantastic work they do to an end (at worst) . To then subject the mentally ill to intense testing and questioning in an almost 'prove you're mad enough fashion' to enable them to continue to receive benefits is callous - to further subject those people to benefit cuts is inexcusable in my opinion... not to mention humiliating.

Is this muscular liberalism - or a country waging an economic and humanitarian war on it's citizens?
This letter to the Guardian paints bleak picture for those less fortunate.. let's hope the government sees sense.

Peetah Morgan & 'friends'..

Cute song.. on another note I love the pillars outside that house!! gorgeous.. as for that huge palm lurking in the background.. tickets please!!





ft Beres Hammond at his simplistic best.. the guitar rift sounds West African..nice