Charming your mother in law.. or your in laws in general is probably one of the things that most people hope will go right. Clearly, this will depend on many things.. the relationship your other half has with his or her parent/s.. your age, their age etc...and,importanatly, the level of influence the in laws have on your partners.
If they have a lot of influence, and you don't get on with them , or they don't like you, that could be a problem!
This story funnily enough almost has me siding with the mother in law a bit.. based on what I've read so far anyway..
Basically a man took his fiance to visit his mother, and.. (unimpressed) his mother later sent a email highlighting what she considered to be his fiances flaws and bad manners.
Perhaps she could have spoken to her son face to face but seems like this modern age has us doing things slightly differently now
When I read it I thought.. hmmm..now this chap should know his mother by now!! and therefore should have either warned his girlfriend(listen.. make an effort..mums a bit fussy.. etc) or warned his mother ( listen.. she's a bit rough.. or .. free spirited!).. either way.. frosty time ahead for him!
Never mind.. I don't know many people that don't have a bit of friction with their in laws'
For better/for worse an all that!!
But if it were me.. I'd want him to defend me!! or he'll get nagged to high heaven!!..
Am sure a few people will be reading the post and nodding in agreement that either the man warn the lady or the mother. I had a friend who's boyfriend of a year plus finally took her to meet his mother needless to say it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Basically the guy's mother disapproved of the fact the lady came from a one parent family home and worst of all lady was grilled and her man did not defend her at all.
ReplyDeleteAfter meeting her man't parents the relationship almost instantly fell apart...they are now with different people. Seems it was in the mother's character to cause her son grief as she tried the same tactic with his next girlfriend. Luckily he saw sense and stood up for himself and is now happily married...
Lucky he saw sense indeed.. I've known a few 'in law' casualties, and each time the man couldn't defend his girl!! sure enough relationship ended.
ReplyDeleteI think if you can't defend your partner it almost implies you have doubts about the person.. or you agree in part, with what's being said..
No way if you love them would you stay quiet with them in the line of verbal fire.. even a calm.. "we're not having this!!".. and you stage a walk out!! that's better than nothing surely;-)