The Art of listening

We place a lot of emphasis on the art of conversation. People like to talk – like to air their views – love to be heard – whether what they have to say is of great importance or not.

I guess we’ve long had a love affair with the voice ever since we realized we could cry – scream – or shout and get what we want. Babies and children love the sound of their voice. Watch them at play – unaware of any audience they will make sounds – talk – hum - or sing with carefree abandon.
The charm wears off as we become adults. Try that out whilst shopping for example and watch the looks you’ll get. Yet as adults we find other ways to soothe our souls through endless chatter.

The real art in my view however – is the art of listening.
The art of being able to fully hear what the other person is saying. The ability to clear the clutter of what can be (at times) nonsensical ramblings and cut through to the real issue.
When you listen to someone - they feel important. If you listen without interrupting – or without succumbing to the need to cut in and steer the conversation around to you - it genuinely helps – not only the person being listened to - but it also helps you - as it’s through listening – that we learn.

We learn because we all see the world through different eyes. We experience things differently – and the recognition of that creates understanding.
Isms such as racism – sexism etc stem also from a person’s inability to really hear what the other person is saying. Denial (for whatever reason) of their worlds view - of their experiences. So wrapped up in guilt perhaps that denial (for some) is the best form of defense. So afraid to cause an affray – or rock an already rocky boat that denial (for some) is the best route to acceptance.

Try today to listen to someone. Really listen.
What do they mean when they say what they say? Is it coming from a place of love – or is it coming from a place of bitterness. Is what they say aimed at truly bringing about harmony and promoting understanding – or - is there a more sinister purpose to their talk?
The best friend you could ever have - is someone who can listen to you – and if you truly love and care for them – you will listen also.
Listening can be hard work when you have no real interest in the other person – in that respects it can also be difficult to fake. Can it be learned? I’m not sure … it’s a bit like asking can you teach someone to care...
To be honest – I don’t think you can

You can make someone aware of techniques or tips you can use to make it look like you’re listening – or help you along the way – a bit like teaching – where you can have all the tools and learn the techniques – but it will never really make you a stand out teacher unless you have that 'thing'. That thing that money can’t buy – I guess you’re either you’re born to teach – or you’re not.
Maybe I’m being over simplistic - unfairly oversimplistic

I guess what I’m saying is that I do believe that whilst were all good at something –there is something in particular that we are great at.
In life – it’s a lucky few who not only know what that is – but are given the chance to use it. In life – we're often put into little controllable boxes – the trick is to fight the desire to stay there.

As they say – Only you can be you....hope you’re listening now x