1. Availability
Come on guys – if you have a husband - boyfriend wife – or a girlfriend. What’s the deal with the ongoing search for more? If the relationship you’re in no longer serves you - or the love has gone. Call it a day and move on – then you’re free to start anew. Some people moan and complain about their partners but are just too scared to be alone. Why do you fear yourself? Or – are you afraid you’ll never meet anyone else? – Of course you will!
Now only yesterday a married man offered to carry my shopping as close to my home as possible ( I let him of course..!!) Then to have him ask for my number while the glare of the ring nearly blinded me in the spring /summer sun..
“Get outa here jack!!...Like I don’t want a bloody husband of my bloody own to nag!!”
“Beat it!”
“What am I - a bloody husband magnet??”
I didn’t say it - but I thought it... I also thought – how old does he think I am… I’m way to grown for this!!”
No – the temptation is always there – especially for some of us commitment phobics– but let’s give it a go shall we!! Let’s both be available at the same time - imagine the fun we can really have!!... You won’t need to worry about a rolling pin in your head when you get home - and I won’t have to worry about getting jumped in the Tesco car park…
and just for the record guys.. well.. will never be a crediable substitute for yes or no when asked the question are you married. sure I know it can be tough - what with us girls being so cute an all but really... welllll???
2. Smarts or Talents
The man should be of the same level of intelligence as the woman - or above(cheers sis... i get it now)
If not the man will resent the woman - maybe not today – maybe not tomorrow - but he will – and for a long- long time
The best way to guard against that would be if he has a skill – or a craft that the woman doesn’t have... something he’s very good at - be it a musician a plumber a builder or something like that – or - maybe his skill is he knows how to make a woman feel like as Rhianna puts it” The only girl in the world.. (Trust me it’s a skill – because a lot of men struggle with that)
Yep - If he has a talent of some kind – all may be well
3. Secure
Oh yes - an insecure man is like a very angry lion in an unlocked cage - dangerous.
An insecure man with a secure woman is like oil on water. It can’t mix.
He will use everything in his power to demean or discourage you – he may even cheat
He will – resent you - period. Maybe not today - maybe not tomorrow – but he will… and for a long - long time.
To the men... come on – 40 going on 14 aint cute – 50 going on 15’s just plum ridiculous. Whilst retaining a youthful outlook in life is always welcome - childishness is an annoyance. And can actually be quite dangerous – e.g. domestic violence
4. Values
A man without values is like a loose cannon – what can I say. No values – no moral compass
No moral compass - run!
5. Sexual compatibility
If you’re not compatible in that department – chances are – it won’t work. If it’s not great - both should be willing to learn but my feeling is – it shouldn’t be a chore – you shouldn’t have to ‘work at it’ it’s either you’re attracted to someone or you’re not. Don’t fake attraction just because you’re tired of being alone. It may convince you that’s how it is for real... no – there’s always a match for someone. What’s not for you – will be for someone else – let it go – that way your hands are free to receive the blessings destined to come your way.
6. Emotional Intelligence
Some folk just haven’t got a clue. If you both lack it – fine. But if one has it and the other doesn’t – again - arguments can arise.
7. Loyalty
We can use war as an example.
If the streets are a battlefield – and life can wear you down – you don’t want to come home and find the ‘enemy’ within the confines of your home.
Once that door is shut – that’s it – the ‘enemy’ should be on the other side
Your significant other should be your greatest supporter. You need to know they have your back – will never sell you out. Will never be persuaded you’re anything other than great (if you are great that is ) by troublemakers and ne’er do wells
You need to be able to trust them explicitly.
8. Social awareness*
Someone who recognises the difficulties that others go through – cares about issues that affect many people – understands the isms and would support a just cause if needs be (you know what I mean??)
*you may not think it’s important – but if he doesn’t care about others – will he ever really care about you
9. Kindness
Yes – he must have a heart.
Find out about his upbringing also
Check out those eyes ladies… they are the windows to the soul
Also – he must be generous with his time – his emotions – buy you little inexpensive gifts now and then. If he’s mean – and you’re not - you will end up resenting him.
10. Fun
Sometimes – you just want to have fun – you want to have a laugh.
Life’s too short not to. You want someone who can laugh at themselves from time to time – not take life toooo seriously. Someone whose company you enjoy. After all – if you don’t enjoy each other company - what else is there?
Happy SMSx
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