Only a unique few.
For my SMS post today I wanted to talk about falling for an idea (your idea) of what /who someone can be. You know when you meet someone and begin to think how great the relationship could be if only they….. (fill in the blank)
Then, having to manage your emotions once the reality hits you that perhaps they never will change….never will be that person you hoped for.
Whilst it’s really quite natural to imagine what someone could achieve given the right support/backing (or even if they themselves were able to realise it for themselves) in fact, that’s quite lovely... to care so much to want to see a person fulfill their potential, but sometimes, I think some of us get a little carried away, and fail to see the person for who they really are.
Not what they have... but who they are, at the point of meeting. In the present.
Who they are will be a combination of choices, circumstances, experiences etc, all of which will make that person unique and interesting, and could provide you with an insight into their future plans. Yet, they should be able to tell their story without any help from you.
Tempting as it may be you cannot shoehorn someone into your life, to fit whatever mold you wish, (without their consent) and expect the relationship to be a happy one.
We are what we are, and one day the truth will out.
Falling in love with someone who has potential is great. Falling in love with potential is a little risky.
Take away the cynical approach of the allure of what your other half can ‘bring to the table’ put aside thoughts of economic gain and business like transactions, or even the desire for an elevated status through another and ask yourself. Who is this person, and why do I love them
You can't eat love that's for sure so I understand why many do the things they do, and say the things they say.. still..
Being kind in love, is also about being honest... with yourself.
HappySMSx
I dig your train of thought.
ReplyDeleteCan we honestly look at a significant (or potential) other without projecting our wants and desires on them? Its a natural tendency. though one has to question this "potential" seen in another - is it my idea/expectation of a perfect life together or theirs? The idea of falling in love with what someone could be is ... meh
I think it's written all that I am -I give to you. I think that's lovely.
ReplyDeleteI guess I wrote this as a mate of mine got dumped (a guy) for quite 'minor' reasons - and because I've watched so many women trying to polish a turd(so to speak) - and wondering why there's still a smell..and why they're heart broken.
If I write vows I think I'll add, - 'Love me not for how brilliant I can be - but for how brilliant I am -now - right now - in your eyes!'.