Funny post really, but I got to thinking about marriage and how to make the right choice. ( funny because I really didn't intend to)
My research is based mainly on checking out the '21st century bible’ Google ( not wishing to downplay the good book ), but is there anything you can't find nowadays? (Yes, I suspect there is)
Anyway, experience and advice of others always lurks in the background, so it’s not just Google alone. This post itself is work in progress but it’s nice to ponder sometimes.
Firstly, marriage is certainly not the be all and end all by any means. In fact It doesn’t have to be an aim at all, rather a natural progression from something wonderful, to something even more wonderful.
It can be/is ( If you desire it be so) the ultimate stage of a love commitment.
Yet it didn’t start out that way.
Originally, marriage for the purpose of love wasn't practiced at all. For many years, women were property, an asset to a man, and pretty much had no identity or voice but through her husband. There were clear roles, and it involved keeping home, reproducing, and satisfying male sexual desire. Women's needs were not considered, and they were viewed as quite silly ‘feckless’ things with childlike brains... Useful, but not quite right somehow.
Some may say not much has changed, but they’d be wrong. .. yet right.. no wrong.. yet..
There are still some lingering preconceptions attached to both women and men with regards to social standing etc, and depending on how a couple live, a women may not have much of a voice, or say, but in the society we live in now, that way of being is no longer deemed acceptable.
It also depends on where in the world you live.
Anyway, I’m going off point. This was/is meant to be a romantic post.
You see the thing is, it’s simply about sharing your life with another, and that’s why some say, it can be the most difficult decision a person will ever make. But why difficult?.
The natural flow of love and attraction will bring two people together, you then get to find out whether or not you’re compatible, if you are great, if not, great.. lid for every pot.
A person will always know when someone loves them, not by what they say necessarily, but by what they do.
‘Google says’ ( I'll paraphrase some kind of summary) you should never get into a relationship ( you can but they tend not to be great) to heal past hurts, pain within, to prove a point, complete aspects of you that may be lacking , or any other reason aside from to share the love, wholeness, and splendour of who you are at every level.. spiritually, emotionally, physically, the whole nine yards. Obvious things such as respect, honesty, admiration, loyalty, commitment, and all those other wonderful thing all come into play, strength of character, authenticity, fun laughter, a passion for life shared interests, kindness etc.
It's true that no two relationships are alike, but strong love relationships, tend to share similar characteristics, and whilst a companion may inspire us to be the best we can be, continue to improve ourselves etc, they never seek to change who you are. For example, a man who loves a woman will love her regardless of flaws physical or otherwise ( he’ll either tend not to see them, at least he’ll view them in a different light.. compassionately?) There would be no need for that woman to look like a supermodel, perform swing from the chandeliers sexual antics, or do anything really.. other than be herself. Equally, a man will feel able to be himself too. and it’s through that level of acceptance, that anything is possible, and nice little surprises can occur, spontaneous free and true.
Truth, trust, and acceptance tends to create a natural desire to please.
So what did 'Google' say?.
Lots.. but in summary (again) the themes are..
Fall in love with yourself. The real you. Really know yourself. Work on improving aspects of yourself you may not be keen on, or no longer serve you well. Be the person you would fall in love with if you were on the outside looking in. Don’t get drawn in to drama, lose or hide your ‘light’. Your lover will support your dreams and aspirations without fear, secure in the knowledge that they are a part of your life, (do the same also). Enjoy each day, ride the downs, be real. Everyone has ‘down days’.
Ironically, in reality, the process itself is pretty straightforward, a little like breathing in and breathing out so to speak. It occurs so naturally that you’re almost not even aware of it at all. It just feels right, completely ’click in to place’ right, on every level. Makes you smile.
Often it can be what you least expect, or everything you expect, both in who you decide to live with, and how you choose to live
As India Aire says it tends to be a 'beautiful surprise'
you may even choose to live apart.. who knows
Hmm, this post wasn't romantic enough.. I did say it was work in progress.. must do better.
Okay, maybe this will help..
Help me out here India.. my words weren't enough
Always loved this song on the album.. hey, didn't know she was Libran too, cool.