I’m talking about people from Pakistan, India, Bangladesh etc which some of us rightly or wrongly tend to place together as Asian. ( No offence meant) Unless were completing forms and require more accuracy.
Anyway. Quick story (although I have many)
My sister went to a jewellery store in Tooting SW London. It’s the kind of store that you have to press the buzzer to enter the main store. Anyway, there were about three members of ‘staff' at the counter;one woman and two men, fairly young 'ish' wouldn’t buzz her through. Before you ask... the store was open.
She was upset when she got back to the car, I was annoyed ( wanted to go back but she said no)
Another quick story..
I remember once having a small crush on a guy who worked in my local store (straight from Pakistan he was... Kenyan Asian family) the tallest(about 6.5) darkest, most 'handsome'ist' dude ever, seemed to like me too... anyway... overheard a conversation between them (men of the fam')... in short... ‘It’s not allowed’
Cool.
Oh go on then.. another tale...
There’s a well known cosmetic store ( who shall remain nameless) that black women frequent for skin and hair care products ( they sell other toiletries too, but they are well known for black beauty products) I had to have a word with the cashier once as I got so fed up of being followed around like a common thief!. It broke the ice, and they are okay (ish) with me now... they just follow other black people instead lol. Before you say it.. no..I’m not being paranoid. I have seen white shoppers go into that shop and nobody move. Enter the black and they move faster than Usain bolt:)
My question is, what is that about?
Especially as I’m looking at people whose skin is as brown as mine in some cases darker, in some cases lighter. Is it a colonial legacy thing? Is European'ness' the measure of all that is right.. and good?
Most overt physical differences may be hair? perhaps.. but there’s something else going on and I want y’all to think about what that may be and get back to me.
I assume my Caribbean 'ness' will include Carib/Arawak DNA/heritage,among others but why do some people not want to accept their African DNA?
You all have it.
*directed at African/Carribeans ( to state the obvious perhaps)
Well what can I say.....those three stories all have been an entry in my life the jewellery store scenario oohhh black woman her skin tooo dark not the right shade secondly she won't be able to afford our products...
ReplyDeleteBlack woman Asian man yes DISALLOWED goal mehhhnnn someone is bound to be disowned or even worse bring disgrace on the respectable Asian family name. I know a couple Asian lady Black man two kids they seem happy but her family want NOTHING more to do with her or the children what a SHAME huh. Love at the best of times is difficult to understand let alone a situation so divided sucks for them am sure.
Now to get to the bain of my hair, again I have to KMTTTT....how many times have I entered an Asian store only to be followed around my entire shopping trip as though I have intent to STEAL......I find it IRRITATING always happens and will keep doing so until you pull them up for it. Hence in your case Dawna got them off your back onto another black person's case.
Is European'ness' the measure of all that is right.. and good?......In short NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thats what we have been grown to believe...
Is it a colonial legacy thing? I feel this is paramount to why perhaps some people refuse to accept their African DNA.......as it were
I can't answer for everyone except give a perception of what I think. I feel black people in general don't do the greater good to help themselves, for reasons most of us are well aware of perhaps SLAVERY did and has built a HUGE gap not sure how we are going to bridge that gap.
We have been labelled the black sheep bahaaaaa (or did we help in the matter) every where we go and to our own detriment continue to stretch that label. Would your fellow black man/woman wipe the mark off your back if they knew you had been branded honestly....most cases they add another stamp and affirm this branding.
Mr & Mrs Patel, Mr & Mrs Singh, Mr & Mrs Yen Chow, Mr & Mrs Smith and any other race whose skin shade happens to be much lighter than BLACK know this fact and can use the stick to beat us over the head repeatedly......somehow as the Black race we still haven't managed to get a handle on that stick.
Other cultures look out for each other hence why they thrive PERIOD. Until we are all truly UNITED am afraid in 20 years time my daughter will also be writing a post about how as a black young lady she was followed in an Asian shop.....now wouldn't that be a damnnnnn travesty....
Boi that was Long LOL
Lol Chilledleo ..Long?... never!!
ReplyDeleteA well thought out response and most appreciated... I really appreciate your candor (don’t get to say that often!)
I think we need to continue to ask more questions –simple... why?
Some things have become so ‘normal ‘it’s invisible to the eyes of many. Yet under the very noses of the many some people are still being treated appallingly... ‘normal ‘doesn’t =right
Hmmm... store owners..
Maybe try another tact e.g. Whenever you’re in a store being followed around, turn, hand the stalker the shopping list and ask them to collect your goods. On his or her return peruse the content of the basket, then send them back again for a better deal!
Repeat at your leisure!! :)
I agree with you that European 'ness' should not be the measure, and for me it isn’t but in reality it’s evident that those who appear to possess more European attributes whether it be skin shade, hair, features, even tone of voice, are generally considered to be, more acceptable, less threatening, easier to be around, smarter, and are often singled out for preferential or favourable treatment.
I think that those ethnic groups that ‘act out’ know this, and instead of denouncing this flawed and potential cancerous ideology play along (survival maybe) and create unnecessary divisions between the 'cultures'
(yeah i'm simplifying things abit.. but it's a simple argument no?)
If in 20yrs time our children are still experiencing this stuff I would ask... what were we doing? Where were we? ...asleep?
I think we can close the gap, beginning with respect of self
I prefer to be talk openly about this stuff as to act as though it doesn’t exist is ridiculous.
Silence doesn’t =change
Hopefully, others will agree, be aware of just how unacceptable it is...and where relevant... change!
I'm sure others may feel differently
Dawna you know it seems many are called but very few are chosen....it's time as a matter of course we also the "Black race" became worthy of the chosen few....yes perhaps charity should really begin at home "respect of self" doesn't cost much does it?
ReplyDeletewhere do I start? it is a deep aggravation that the Asian business men choose our black communities to do business (food, jewellery, beauty) and insult us on top of it. I've resolutely refuse to visit or buy anything from shops that take the piss - if only others will do the same we would get parity sooner!
ReplyDeleteis white right? I think the real question is if black thinks its good. There is a huge problem with self-perception/love of self/entitlement amongst our kinfolk from the younger ones to the elders in this society. I stomp in places where I see no black people, and when I think of the ease with which I cracked the entry I wonder why there are no others like me. When I meet other black professionals in these places they are black people from foreign, be it Nigerian, Ghanaian, Jamaican, confident and up for it. Once had this long discussion with an IT director, Jamaican guy, at a student internship fair and we couldn't work out why the numerous black kids at the fair were not represented in industry. Yes racism and all, but like him I conduct interviews at work and don't see the CVs, and where I get sent some people they are usually foreign African (mostly Nigerian) students. Same thing when I was a supervisor for boots, I would usually get the black kids come up and ask me if it was alright to work there before they seek the manager to hand in their CVs. baffled me to no end, like what? you wouldn't hand in your CV if you didn't see me?
What is stopping the kids from putting their best foot forward?! Having lived in the UK for long I still don't get it
Dear Chrome,
ReplyDeleteI understand the point you make and agree with you to some extent. I have a daughter who whilst studying at Uni often handed in her CV at many retail stores. It mattered not which store just the fact she needed work. No one ever replied. In one particular store I observed from a distance her handing her CV to a fellow black woman and I just knew the management would never receive the CV. She smerked as she looked at her colleagues when my daughter turned to leave. She did not know I observed from a distance. I could have confronted her but knew I would instantly be labelled as having a chip on my shoulder or being aggressive or whatever the usual negatives are where black people are concerned. In short, we have a massive problem, we need people who are strong and can stand up for us. People who can infiltrate and make a difference with policy, protocol, legislation, finance, business, education. Need I go on. I don't believe in racism, it's a cancer that has over centuries destroyed the black race and culture. The answer in short is to get our children and grandchildren educated. Get meaningful jobs, give back to those less fortunate. Help your families where needed, pull together. When people pull together it is a joyous experience to behold.
Chrome 'the ease in which you cracked the entry':) I like the way you put that..
ReplyDeleteYour CV experiences imply that 'no' they wouldn't have handed the CVs in.. your presence put them at ease!.. the question then would be.. why the unease?
Both you and Velma make really good points, yet I fear we're moving away from the question abit..which is.. why?..
What is it about?
Sure we live with it everyday etc, and have become used to working around it, above it, beyond it, but.. why?
I have a feeling the answer may lie with those who behave in that way..