On having a cold - and feeling soul safe

Wednesday evening and my eyes hurt.
and my head aches a little.
No… quite a bit.

I definitely could do with a Dawna day.
A nice day.
I still have a cold which is a little annoying if not simply inconvenient.
I wonder sometimes if it's possible to schedule colds or flu to more convenient times.
But who'd ever want one?
Have you ever noticed that if you take a day off work, any illness or aches and pains you may have been unaware of come rushing to the surface?

I tend to say the reason that happens is because ‘we’ run on pure energy, and that energy - (or adrenalin) has the power, at times, to override all else.
Sometimes we go into fight or flight mode
Sometimes
We fight, when we need to, and flee, when we need to.
And both are equally powerful - right?
Yeah, sometimes

As I give myself a moment…
I feel deep down that I may miss a few things, even a few of my old acquaintances, from way back.
They're fine, but sometimes I miss spending my nights in the studio, leaving in the early hours. Miss Mike.
I miss being understood, unquestioned, miss connecting, feeling safe
Soul safe
Do you know what I mean?
I remember one summer travelling on the train and feeling completely free, happy if you like. I remember it also because a random commuter, a man , dropped a note in my lap written on the back of a train ticket as he stepped off
I still have it today.
Outside of that action, I have no real recollection of the person at all.
But it's a nice memory.
But then I have lots of nice memories.
Every time I walk across campus arriving or leaving is a nice memory.
We create them all the time.. we just tend not to notice

Being with your family?
Enjoying your friends..
Enjoying your solitude..
Lovers..
Exploring your interests..
New places, people..
Curling up on the sofa and watching your favourite show..
Candlelight meal in/ or out
I'm sure you could write a long list if you wanted to
I bet you'll smile

One of my James Baldwin Books arrived this evening!, I’m so happy about that
I can begin to dip in - in fact..i'll take it to bed.
It's small.. almost 'backpocket small'.. perfect

Okay, now it's time for me to shift this blasted cold,
I've lots to do, and to look forward to, and because outside of that...
I’m feeling fine
It's all new.. again
Guess I feel soul safe after all

I watched Being Mary Jane last night, caught it by chance
Pretty cool
I wonder.. will I get there
I'm sure I will
Someday
Cup of tea calls.. night x