Thursday, 27 February 2014

Cultures shift.. they adapt they change.. yet they remain the same

He says..

"You know, a law is a law, and there is this culture of ours that we have inherited. That our forefathers has been doing.and it has never harmed anyone, and now it has been criminalized, so it is unfair to us"

Have you ever wondered how the practice really came about?
Who ( can we assume..which man ) first decided it was a good idea.. a requirement?
I think that rather than the (almost) fixation and questions on what is cut, and how.. I'm quite keen on the question.. why?.

In my opinion, It's no longer enough to cite 'it's a generations old ceremony', it's a practice handed down by our forefathers' etc..without question.
Yes, there are different types of cutting, so not all with remove the clitoris, but often that is the case.
Reasons given for this practice vary.. e.g
1. Curbing/controlling sexual desire in women and girls
2. Men who are raised in, and agree with this practice, will not marry 'uncut girls' ( severely impacting on the income that a girl would ( on marriage) bring in to her family
3. In sewing up the vaginal area, it prevents the woman from having sex with any man other than her husband, who will penetrate her regardless of the pain ( he can either cut the stitches away or use his penis to force his way through)
4. Some men prefer the feeling.
5. A recent reason I've been given is.. It looks nicer

Do you know, Many women after childbirth, request to be sewn up again, as it feels odd to them to not be. Some say they feel exposed..loose.

Is it ever right to observe the cultural practices of people and seek to change it?
History tells us no.
A change nonetheless that would require an entire shift in the way women and girls are viewed and treated, in certain regions, and would surely require families source their income elsewhere.
Still no?

There are those who will argue that if you ban female circumcision then male circumcision should be banned also.
I don't agree with that argument, one reason is simply because, a circumcised male will still enjoy sex ( possibly even more so ) and the act of circumcision on a male has few long term health related complications (If any), and is not about power, domination, and control.

Yet there's a twist in the tale..
Ironically, here in the 'West' a similar practice is becoming increasingly popular. It's not cheap, and it's given a cute sounding name..it's called Vaginoplasty. But it's cutting none the less..
Western Culture.. perhaps not so different after all
If someone loves you, I promise you that they will love and enjoy you.. regardless of what your fanny looks like.

In that short film above, this was about marriage- as- business.. Love.. (in it's modern guise) wasn't mentioned once.
My question ( if i have one) is.. exactly what does marriage mean .. to you?..and
Is love.. as important as I say it is?


  1. I often ask myself what right does one society have to mess with another - although i am usually referring to military intervention - I am also glad when i here some group has sent disaster relief, or set up camps for refugees . . so, I now notice i am double minded. It's difficult for me to picture the mothers of these young girls taking, allowing their daughters to be treated this way . . I have heard media stories . . still, I don't really understand it, so i have no right to insist on anything . . .

    Marriage??? I have resisted it all my life. Feels to me like a prison - I have only met men who want to own . . possess . . . (and destroy.) Lousy outlook, i realize . . and, I've seen couple who look really happy. I was a performing artist . . I seemed to attract . . well, I'll stop here . . .

    Thank you for opening discussions . . .

    1. I understand your view. I share it also , to an extent.
      Women I've spoken to (or know ) who have had it done.. are happy enough.. ( women are often tough..we get on with it) but they would have preferred it were not the case. I'm yet to meet one who says otherwise. Often they just say it's something that's practice in their culture, and they had no say, they were often very young girls at the time, It just happened. Now.. some parents tell them they regret. Ce la vis. We evolve - we meet others, we learn more, our views change.

      I support orgs who speak out against it, try to change hearts and minds - I'm not a supporter of it.
      I spoke to a midwife whose job involves assisting mothers who have been sewn to give birth. As a woman certain things are not easy to hear. ( childbirth is already painful enough)

      Still.. making love it is still possible to feel ( I should add that) and as we know there are numerous erogenous zones ( so all is not lost)

      I'm an optimist, with regards to marriage, but married people will continue to spoil it lol!!

      I guess it could feel like prison or freedom - all depends. Depends on the quality of the relationship, the basis of the marriage, and how much ( if any) of yourself you suppress
      It should be a happy state, although you will argue sometimes.
      *Own posses and destroy.* That scares me. I would not want that either Maggid.

      I am not married.
      Perhaps I have just not met him yet
      Maybe one day.. maybe not.
      You were a performing artist.. I can relate :-)