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Saturday, 8 February 2014

On friendships or betrayal

Had a nice evening out with a friend last night and the subject of trust came up.
I barely slept last night and up early (ish) this morning
Anyway..

When so called friends betray you, it can be one of the worst experiences. For someone to breach a trust that was established, or bond you felt you had, often leaves one with many questions, and always more questions than answers.
When you discover the extent of the lies, and you realise how just long they were lying for it's even worse. To know that those same people may even pride themselves on being truthful, and demand honesty and openness from others is almost laughable.
To witness how badly they behave if they feel they've been wronged, and hear of the the accusations they make, (which in truth is often just projected guilt) is disgusting.
But you learn that it's not uncommon, and the extent of betrayal always varies. Could be minor, could be major
I think what hurts most is the intent.
Sometimes it's deliberate.. and you wonder.. hmmmm

Anyway, it was nice to be able to clear the air

At one point I think I may have looked a bit perplexed as my friend simply said..
'people should choose better friends.. at the very least.. choose friends they can trust'

That was funny

I don't know anyone who seeks out, or desires friends they can't trust ( unless they're a bit 'sadomasochistic' - so to speak) but even if they are, they should just be upfront about it from the very beginning.
I think when you meet people, or at least when you seek out someone to elicit a friendship from them, be honest about who you are. That way you give the person the option of whether to build a friendship with you or not, they know what they're getting.
They know whether to take you seriously or not, and whether they're required to keep a guard up , or not. They can make an informed decision.

Otherwise it's deceitful
But it says a-lot about the deceiver

I don't know anyone who is always totally truthful myself included, ( don't believe me?.. how many times has someone asked you how on are on a day that you feel like crap and you say/.. 'oh i'm fine thank-you!.. and smile for good measure lol) but some take it by far to a whole LOWER level

* I think most people like friends who they know that whatever happens... they're got their back.. even if they fall out from time to time. Frienenemies need not apply
But as my friend said.. you either sort it or forgive it and forget it

Enjoy your day all x

6 comments:

  1. I've had a good friend for years and years and recently I discovered something about him that has just shocked me to the core. I wouldn't have been shocked if I knew he was this kinda of person from day one but it just goes against everything he claims to be, and I thought he was. I'm finding it hard to act normally around him now. In fact I don't like him much.

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    Replies
    1. I hear you Joe - It's really tough to deal with that kind of thing

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  2. I moved recently to Florida and I have no one here that I could honestly call a friend. That's the sort of thing that wears on a person. We all need friends, real ones.

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    Replies
    1. Yes Reggie we do - we all do.
      It's early days in Florida - hopefully a friend or two you shall make - real ones. :)

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  3. I had a "friend" that lied to me (and everyone else in her life including her children, parents, grandparents, and partner) about having cancer. She said it was "inoperable". This went on for two years. She even shaved her head. It is something I am having trouble forgiving because my mom actually was dying of cancer at the time. And seriously, that is so messed up.

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  4. I'm sorry to hear that Birdie, again, that's gotta be tough
    You hear stories of people that create fictional personas, swindle others out of life savings or live double lives, unfortunately, deceit and betrayal is as old as time. big or small, its gonna hurt.

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