Being Shy

If I say I'm shy no one believes me..
seriously.. no one

I don't really say it anymore because if I do I'll be told..
"No you're not!.. no way!"..
Basically .. I'm accused of being a liar.. as apparently.. people know me better than I know myself!
It used to tick me off a bit
But then it would right?.. if you are constantly being mis judged.
Still.. I'm used to it now..
Now.. I can pretty much play any role you like..
you want tough, i can be tough... want cute i can be cute.. want quiet i can be quiet.. whatever..
People pretty much believe what they like

If i were to describe being shy, I would call it.. experiencing physical and mental pain in the company of others..

It's a feeling of being totally exposed.. as if all the eyes of the world are on you at that particular moment, you're not ready, and their eyes chip away at your soul..
To be honest.. it's really hard to describe..
Which is what makes it difficult for others to understand I think

Here's a definition that I think does a good job

As a child I had a terrible fear of people..
As I got older. lord have mercy I was picked for everything!.. I think one reason may have been because.. (at that time) i was quite cute with these long plaits.. and I remember one day, the headteacher asked me to present something to some 'dignitary ' or another at this large 'special' assembly.. shit... I remember it like it was yesterday...
that was the longest walk to the stage.. the ribbons in my hair were big, and red..
(matched my favourite polka-dot red with white trim dress my mum made) and i just wanted them to scoop me up and get me the heck outta there..

Oddly enough... I love both stages.. and audiences now
Yes.. i am weird.

Count yourself lucky if you're not shy though.. it can be unpleasant .. and very odd