A few weeks back I was having a conversation with my mum about racism and football... as you do on a Sunday in between songs of praise and countryfile!!
(*This is a mere reconstruction*)
At the time I think I was saying something like;
"I can’t understand why these guys continue to play when they hear monkey chants" and so on...
"Why don’t they walk off? refuse to play... take a stand... do something...say something for crying out loud!!"
To which my mum tried to explain to me that that;
"It may not be an easy thing for them to do!"
“Why??”
“They earn good money you know Dawna”
“Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd!?!”
“You can’t just throw away the chance to earn good money like that... especially for players that come from those poor places in Africa”...
“Okay... hang on!!” (‘cause I’m thinking slavery done..)
“So what you're saying is, its okay to sell yourself, if the moneys good enough!?!”
“No, no, no, Jesus Christ no ( mums a church goer.. it's cultural, she means no offence)... that is not what I’m saying!”
I continued... held onto the fictional reigns of our dearly departed Red Rum ... saddled up...and asked my mother what she would say if I went out dancing on tables for a living!!... What about those women who sell their bodies then... on and on I went...
“I hear that’s good money too!!”
My mother looked at me with a mixture of exasperation, disgust, confusion and annoyance
“That’s not the same thing”... she calmly retorted (cool as ever...all the while I dare say, saying a quick prayer for her dear daughter’s virtue... and verbal stupidity ) lol I love my mum
I felt I went too far :)... needed her to know I was happy in my career.. went down the legislation route..
“We’ve got laws against that kind of thing now mum, it’s not accepted for people to behave in that way... they don’t’ have to take it!”
I know it’s a generational thing... and I understand where my mum is coming from... it's knowledge based on real lived experience
We ended on kind of an agreement
Agreed that I felt it was a form of selling yourself, and that perhaps ...I still clearly have a lot to learn...
***
Which brings me on to a not totally unrelated subject. That is... how much money it would take for you to denounce your heritage?... your ethnicity?... your culture?
Would you?... could you? put a price on it?..
Okay here’s the thing...
I say this because... I'm looking at what I’ve theoretically called the ‘normative 'racial' ladder of success’...
(I’m still working on this)
Low pay [colour/’race’ is important]
Higher pay colour ‘race’ a factor... but not important!]
Very well paid colour/’race’ non- existent/not a factor at all]
What price? and why?
Is it possible that the more BMEs earn the more we become afraid of the repercussions, impacts and effects of racism... e.g the more you have... the more there is to lose?
Is racism best tackled from the top down ( as in government policies)
or ( and I don't much like this phrase.) bottom up?.. as in the majority/citizens?
A better question Dawna might be just how much money you'd have to make before you got on that table and danced.
ReplyDeleteReggie!!! lol.. that's a good one..
ReplyDeleteThere is not enough money for me to get on that table and dance *embarrassed smile* but I see your point lol.. cheeky cheeky..
I'm gonna ask some women on the prudish/conservative side.. How much would it take.. per dance!
Hmmm what could we call that theory..
Thought provoking post.. For me this is an issue of integrity. However Integrity is a virtue that is easy to maintain once one has already aquired it. Few of us have achieved this ability to use will power to make a clear choice in favour of what we feel is right and true, and even fewer have placed themselves in a position to have their metal truly tested once push has come to shove.
ReplyDeleteFor me all the great ones from history have demonstrated this quality to some degree. Even if it lead to their ultimate destruction.
That is what made them great.
Integrity can only be taught by example, which probably explains why it has always been in such short supply.
I like to think table dancers do it because they enjoy it as well as making good money.
Is table dancing any less legit than being lets say a footballer?
Most of us will disown our heritage just to be popular or even just accepted. without even a penny changing hands.
I agree... it is a question of integrity, and integrity can sometimes mean different things to different people, and can be applied in various ways...subjectively... But you really do have to have it - to be able apply it
ReplyDeleteTable dancing is no less legit in my eyes than being a footballer. But perhaps the difference is the value placed on each action by ‘society’ and what society deems as acceptable.
We could argue that table dancers provide a ‘service’ where as footballers don’t’. ( no really... they don't lol)
Yet footballers are pays huge sums of money... (More than likely much more then the women players)... So there’s also a sexist argument in there somewhere...
Yes, even without a penny changing hands there are those who would disown their heritage... such can be the desire for acceptance... and I guess the longing for... and the dream of what acceptance can bring...
I can understand it I guess as the reality of what not being accepted is known to be like for many... is very harsh
Yet to be truly accepted surely would require a person to first... accept themselves..
Heres’ a thought...
ReplyDeleteFor many people money equals freedom and independence
The desire therefore for ‘acceptance' should be reduced the more a person earns.. no?
Yet for me that’s the irony and the complexity of the ‘racial ladder of success
As quite often it isn't for many.. the anxiety remains
I'm sure there's a price for me to get on that table and shake my money maker.....but I'm not entirely sure what that price actually is.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad these conversations are going on. I remember a comment of yours about the irony of football, the working man's sport, being the precursor
ReplyDelete