Dark skinned women; strangers in a strange land?..

I could possibly fill a book with my experiences of racism.
I thought about my earliest experiences of racism to try and figure out how and why I became so aware of it, and why it holds such an interest for me.

I was born in 1968 the year Martin Luther King Jr was killed.
The backdrop of my childhood was one of civil rights, police oppression, white racism, and a UK intent on playing ‘bad host’ to its black citizens..
Yep..I was a conscious child

I had a happy childhood.

Didn’t expect me to say that huh... well I did... very happy.
My parents did their best to shield their children from the harsh realities of life, encouraged us to think of ourselves as 'English', and I don’t recall ever hearing the words racist or racism in the home at all.
In fact my parents often shared their company and home with both black and white friends.
Yet... I knew racism. I saw it; I felt it, and it was clear to me that it would be a part of my life.

Early experiences.. hmmm let me see...
Okay...I remember being chosen to play Goldilocks once... the lead in the school play.
A little white girl said to her mum, “that’s not fair... she can’t be Goldilocks... she’s black!”
“I know!" Her mum said... looking disgusted that her own child should be denied the lead...
She had a word with the teacher
It was too late for her to take the role from me but what she did do was give the ‘pretty princess’ dress to the other girl and give me the most disgusting deep purple velvet 'ugly sister’ dress ( don’t laugh!).. instead.
As young as I was. I was f***** off...big time
My mum was with me... I wanted her to say something, but she focused on me... telling me how lovely I looked blah blah (how we could 'jazz it up'!)...
Cool.. ( that didn't fly mum:))
'ah whe di rarse!!' I wanted to say as I snatched the dress back from the womans cold hearted clammy little hands.. but my mother was always a beacon of dignity.. and I didn't want to let her down.. no... a dirty look, would have to suffice:)

Truth be told... even now.. I hate the colour purple.. Ironic huh as it's my mothers favourite colour.. so I was destined to see much much more of the damn thing!!)

There are more tales... but I won’t go into that now...
My point is. Despite my parents best efforts... it was happening, and they could do nothing to stop it.

Yet I believe my experiences, and awareness of racism may be more acute because I am dark skinned... "hello.. I'm Dawna and i'm a dark skinned girl".. nice to meet you!!:)

Yes, I am convinced that my experiences of it are felt deeper due to my higher levels of melanin.
Why do I say that?
Well because the shock waves that reverberate within our communities mean that those who are lighter in complexion are often more 'valued’ or at the very least are viewed more 'desirable' , 'attractive', and a greater 'commodity'.
Myth or reality? You tell me...

Although no one has ever said it directly to me, I’ve heard what people say about others of a dark complexion ( even whilst speaking to me) and it can be quite derogatory.
In fact, it may even be a much harder struggle.
Comments like... she would be pretty if she was light are spoken in black and Asian communities alike, and I know of 'acquaintances' who have chosen their partners specifically because they are very fair, and have what they consider to be ‘good hair’ (men and women) simply because they don’t want their own children to be dark.
Such is the fear... such is the knowledge of how different life can be for those who are.

And most of us know, that dark skinned women are far quicker to be 'labelled' aggressive, hostile or difficult, than women of a lighter hue.. in fact... than any other woman, period.
Confusing?
No not really
All things considered, it makes perfect sense... as do the denials that often accompany it
Confusing?
Not really.. not if you understand racism
Unacceptable?
Yes
Time for a change?
Yes

Dark skinned women see the world through a darker lens

Will we always be strangers in a strange land?... well... that’s up to us