Thursday 29 December 2011

Dark skinned women; strangers in a strange land?..

I could possibly fill a book with my experiences of racism.
I thought about my earliest experiences of racism to try and figure out how and why I became so aware of it, and why it holds such an interest for me.

I was born in 1968 the year Martin Luther King Jr was killed.
The backdrop of my childhood was one of civil rights, police oppression, white racism, and a UK intent on playing ‘bad host’ to its black citizens..
Yep..I was a conscious child

I had a happy childhood.

Didn’t expect me to say that huh... well I did... very happy.
My parents did their best to shield their children from the harsh realities of life, encouraged us to think of ourselves as 'English', and I don’t recall ever hearing the words racist or racism in the home at all.
In fact my parents often shared their company and home with both black and white friends.
Yet... I knew racism. I saw it; I felt it, and it was clear to me that it would be a part of my life.

Early experiences.. hmmm let me see...
Okay...I remember being chosen to play Goldilocks once... the lead in the school play.
A little white girl said to her mum, “that’s not fair... she can’t be Goldilocks... she’s black!”
“I know!" Her mum said... looking disgusted that her own child should be denied the lead...
She had a word with the teacher
It was too late for her to take the role from me but what she did do was give the ‘pretty princess’ dress to the other girl and give me the most disgusting deep purple velvet 'ugly sister’ dress ( don’t laugh!).. instead.
As young as I was. I was f***** off...big time
My mum was with me... I wanted her to say something, but she focused on me... telling me how lovely I looked blah blah (how we could 'jazz it up'!)...
Cool.. ( that didn't fly mum:))
'ah whe di rarse!!' I wanted to say as I snatched the dress back from the womans cold hearted clammy little hands.. but my mother was always a beacon of dignity.. and I didn't want to let her down.. no... a dirty look, would have to suffice:)

Truth be told... even now.. I hate the colour purple.. Ironic huh as it's my mothers favourite colour.. so I was destined to see much much more of the damn thing!!)

There are more tales... but I won’t go into that now...
My point is. Despite my parents best efforts... it was happening, and they could do nothing to stop it.

Yet I believe my experiences, and awareness of racism may be more acute because I am dark skinned... "hello.. I'm Dawna and i'm a dark skinned girl".. nice to meet you!!:)

Yes, I am convinced that my experiences of it are felt deeper due to my higher levels of melanin.
Why do I say that?
Well because the shock waves that reverberate within our communities mean that those who are lighter in complexion are often more 'valued’ or at the very least are viewed more 'desirable' , 'attractive', and a greater 'commodity'.
Myth or reality? You tell me...

Although no one has ever said it directly to me, I’ve heard what people say about others of a dark complexion ( even whilst speaking to me) and it can be quite derogatory.
In fact, it may even be a much harder struggle.
Comments like... she would be pretty if she was light are spoken in black and Asian communities alike, and I know of 'acquaintances' who have chosen their partners specifically because they are very fair, and have what they consider to be ‘good hair’ (men and women) simply because they don’t want their own children to be dark.
Such is the fear... such is the knowledge of how different life can be for those who are.

And most of us know, that dark skinned women are far quicker to be 'labelled' aggressive, hostile or difficult, than women of a lighter hue.. in fact... than any other woman, period.
Confusing?
No not really
All things considered, it makes perfect sense... as do the denials that often accompany it
Confusing?
Not really.. not if you understand racism
Unacceptable?
Yes
Time for a change?
Yes

Dark skinned women see the world through a darker lens

Will we always be strangers in a strange land?... well... that’s up to us

7 comments:

  1. Interesting read...

    My experiences with racism weren't very different from yours. Our complexion really only matters to people of color. Caucasian people always see us as "black". I am fair skinned with hazel eyes and yet I have always been "black" to some people.

    There is one reality about women of color that I've always appreciated. That being that they come in all shades.......love it. I've always loved to see the darkest shades...and the light ones against my bare skin. I'm sure most men of color will tell you the same thing.

    I've never dated anything other than a woman of color and I honestly can't imagine myself not doing that.

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  2. Over the years dark skinned women have had, and have endured a 'bum rap'...
    I feel they have more than earned the right to be vocal about some things.. and challenge a few .. shall we say.. assumptions!!

    You know Reggie you're right that complexion really only seems to matter to people of colour... true... outside of that, the label is 'black'... regardless.
    With the roots of dark vs. light originating from slavery, rapes, privileges, favours, divide and rule, kill or conquer... i'm not sure why anyone.. any 'people' would want to maintain such a legacy, especially when I can see no direct benefits to either the individual or the collective. Yet it is still being passed down by parents... even of 'our' generation to their own children.
    I also love variety... I love the various shades that exist, and appreciate the beauty therein...

    I'll be honest and say I’m no longer sure what other men of colour would say... I hear some things sometimes... to make you eye water!

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  3. I ask the question Dawna why is it that some of these same dark skinned women are intent on looking as pale as possible. Whats wrong with the original shade they came out as....whats really going on up stairs??

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  4. I don't think anything's wrong 'upstairs' Chilled; I think they are as lucid as can be...
    In many respects most of what's stated in the post can answer that...

    Also .. for example...bleaching aside..it can be kinda hard to find the 'right' shade of make up (to be blunt)...
    So most women will go for nearest to... or whatever 'kinda' works...

    I would argue that dark skinned women don't really want to look pale at all... (Although there's a documentary about bleaching on this blog that would seemingly contradict that) what 'they' want(I feel)... is not to be treated as inferior... less than... or sub... anything... to be valued like anyone else.. and not unfairly discriminated against. To have the same opportunities to find love as anyone else and to not be treated (like some families do) like the shameful less desirable black sheep.
    All perfectly reasonable stuff:)

    Am I bias.. possibly
    But I will stand up for dark skinned women because the way I see it.. who else will?
    Our fairer skinned sisters may 'sympathise’ with our 'plight' whilst secretly enjoying the attention, and perceived favouritism that comes thier way.. and to be fair.. who wouldn’t...?
    Cat eat cat

    Dark skinned sisters are cool. period

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  5. I concur...........yes Dark Skinned Rules power to us all!!

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  6. This is very interesting. Even though most black people have probably been affected by racism, it's curious how even among black people lighter and darker shades are distinguished and valued one over the other..
    I'm Caucasian, but it's clear to everyone that those who are considered black that gain recognition/fame are always really light shades, as if we're trying to give the illusion that black people are accepted, when truly those people are only accepted because they look like tanned white people.

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  7. Yes Sofia.. looking forward to a change

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