and I'm not sure which it is
I'll be back at work soon, and today I feel anxious. I'm not sure if it's linked.
I hope not
I'm wondering... have I done enough with my time?.. maybe I need more time.. how will I manage..
I was laying in bed last night and I realized that, I had really wanted to wrap everything up.. all loose ends, during this month. August. I wanted to have completed my dissertation, cemented and be in full control of my love life, bought a new wardrobe, redecorated my home, set up a business.. planned my overseas destination for next year.. and begun at least.. to change the world. ( for the better of course) all.... in 4 weeks.
Well...I have completed some things, but not all.
That makes me feel like I've failed in my mission... aka.. I'm a failure.
Now I know that is not true, but it's how I feel if, or when, I don't accomplish what I set out to. You may ask.. did I set realistic expectations?.. to me.. yes .. they are realistic.. was the time frame realistic?.. again.. to me ... yes, yes, and yes :)
Anyway. if I focus on the positives, I know that I'm much closer now than I've been in years to things being the way I want them to be with regards to my life, and I recognize that. Or at least.. I feel as though I'm on the right road for me
If I stupidly or naively compare my life to others... I mess up
So..I just need to calm down, relax, and have more faith perhaps.
Today I need to buy some really big pots for next week. I'm having a BBQ for Ti's 21st..and to wave off the end of the summer break, and my academic deadline. and I'm kinda fretting about my cooking skills. I can cook, but this'll test me a bit
.. and i'm nervous because the Prince is bringing a friend
Who knew booze was so expensive?