The Carnivore...

Once upon a time in the Town of Chad, there lived an old man.
( Well... he looked like an old man.. truth was .. he was only 35!!)

Anyway... this 'old' man lived at the top of a very large hill in a very large house all alone.
He hated company. He had no wife, girlfriend children or friends. In fact, the local children used to tease him relentlessly, and the more they teased... the more bitter he became. Yes... he was a bitter, fat, man, who enjoyed nothing more than the eating of meat.
He ate meat for breakfast, meat for lunch, and meat for dinner
He was a carnivore, and his name was ... Peter.

One day the Towns Mayor announced that there was to be no more eating of meat. It had become apparent to him that livestock numbers were dwindling, and the people of the town were becoming fatter and fatter, and lazier and lazier.
So, over the loud speaker the Mayors voice boomed

“ As of this day... it is forbidden to buy, sell, or eat any meat..
Only fruit and vegetables will be permitted, until I deem it no longer necessary!”
There was a loud gasp, as the Towns-people all thought the same thing...

‘Rahtid... what the f*** will happen to the carnivore!?!” ( ahem...if you’re re-telling this story to children you may perhaps wish to leave out the swearing)... ‘yes' they gasped... 'what the f*** will happen to the carnivore!’
Well... It wasn’t long before news travelled up the big hill, and the screams from this rotund man could be heard for miles around... for days....

Anyway... the days and nights passed with no sign of him, until eventually he ventured down the hill and to the stores..
He tried to bribe the butcher to sell him ‘black market' meat... but there was none..
Instead, he bought a bag of onions.
In the second store, his tears failed to work, and he was forced to buy a bag of vegetables...
Up the hill this lonely and forlorn fat man walked...
Once inside he made himself a pot of soup... it wasn’t the same.. but after days of this, he actually began to like it..
“ Hmmm!!” he slurped.. “ this isn’t half bad!!”
The weight began to fall of this fat man until he was the talk of the town, and women from far and wide, clambered to ask him out on a date

Months later the Mayor realised that his Towns-folk were no longer the fat f****s they once were and lifted the ban...
over the loud speaker he proclaimed... " You may all eat meat again!!!"
But the carnivore, realising how his life had changed for the better, decided... he no longer needed or wanted to eat meat... and never ever visited the butcher again

The end....

The moral of this tale... change can be scary and painful, but given a chance could potentially enhance your life in ways you would have never thought possible