Saturday, 28 January 2012

A little Trivia..

So..Denise won Celebrity Big Brother.. that was a surprise..!



Personally.. Romeo was my winner... uber cool with impeccable manners...



The American actor.. Michael?... he seems so miserable!!
Enjoyable final show..

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Ashley Walters Q&A.. enjoyable and available to read at the Guardian online

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7 comments:

  1. chrome30 January 2012 at 12:30

    Dawna, u and i must have been the only black people following this. my mates were giving me the quizzical when I mentioned it. whats the matter with these people, lost their sense of fun? cha! crap reality tv rocks! - in small doses that is :)))

    was well happy she won it! yes Romeo is the ultimate gentleman, not one bad word about him when he was evicted. truly a credit to black men (u know say the CBB crew were expecting stereotypes by throwing the token ethnic). now if that was Ashely in the house .. would've been mayhem with the women ;))

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  2. Dawna30 January 2012 at 12:39

    OMG there's only so much 'hunk' a girl can handle at once!! :-)

    yes .. a little fun.. and a laugh or two works wonders.. I'm glad she won.. 1 in the eye to the 'mean girls':)

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  3. chrome30 January 2012 at 14:25

    I value your opinion so what is your take on this:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2012/jan/27/assumptions-behind-black-marriage-crisis?INTCMP=SRCH

    essentially an article from an African American point of view, but any parallel to views here in the UK?

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  4. Dawna30 January 2012 at 17:00

    Hmm.. you know Chrome.. I’m not sure .. i’m kinda on the fence with this, and don’t really have a clear view..

    There are lots of good points in this article and I think it’s true, or fair to say, that there are multiple issues for why black women are less likely to marry ( nowadays) than non black.
    For some, marriage defines who they are, for others not... (Just wanted to get that out of the way because of the end comment in the article) and there is equal value on both sides of the coin.. . there’s nothing wrong with being proud to be married... or happy to be single ( until you find the right one for you)
    The increase of interracial relationships will impact... so will lack of funds...racism. and all that... sure

    Still, I believe there is a gulf between women and men, in that both (in some cases) seem to have bought into many of the stereotypes once inflicted upon us, to the point they’re becoming a self fulfilling prophecy.
    The foundation of marriage as the bedrock to family life appears to be eroding somewhat, but it’s not a total disaster... yet...

    People need to be reminded perhaps, of the benefits of marriage... and possibly reminded that love.. overall... is the life enhancing thread that ties it all together... in every area of your life
    Society places an extremely high value on the ‘independent woman’ ... (and men are included in that) the job, the house the car... and in short money ( which is understandable to a point) ... is respected over being a mother, or ‘housewife’... and ultimately women , like men .. want to feel valued... respected...
    ( I agree with Tyresse btw)
    A man... just as a woman, wants a nice lifestyle... so he may look for someone who can help to facilitate that... yet that mentality (at the extreme level) may often mean... he’s just not looking at the ‘sisters’.. who knows...?.. different strokes..
    ( ‘sweeping statement alert!!) I think we’ve become quite guarded as people.. the defences are up.. and may need to be relaxed... alot... if trust is to be restored...

    Yeah I’ve heard about the book... saying black women should date non black men... etc... and to be frank ( or franchesca!) some do... lots!...

    However..whilst I realise that not everyone wants to get married, I still have a feeling that there are lots of black women who would like to, but either haven’t met the man for them yet, or are making do... (Bird in the hand) with a guy that has absolutely no intension of getting married.. ever.

    For me personally, I think it’s important to be true to yourself... regardless of what the ‘stats ‘say... what your ‘miserable’ friends may say... and what you may have read. If marriage is important to you (as a woman or a man) then seek another who shares your world view... enjoy it, celebrate your relationship without being afraid of looking like a ‘wimp’ or a pushover’... we don’t celebrate love enough in our community...
    I see women with children all the time, and rarely do I ever see a man beside them. What’s happening? Immaculate conception...? (I know... I can talk right... Yes! That’s why I can.. i'm older.. and.. I hope .. wiser)
    I wasn’t always ‘into’ marriage but that changed over time... you grow...you re-evaluate who you are... and it’s then about being honest with yourself
    Be happy, hold hands, kiss and make up, have fun, enjoy and celebrate love and marriage.. It’s a far more pleasurable conversation to have than ‘stop n search shenanigans’... and the ever so boring .. ‘ ‘tough black women’ ...’ aggressive philandering black male stereotypical conversations

    Anyway...
    I don’t quite get it .. not really..
    I’m kinda on the fence with this one but ultimately, there’s work to be done on both sides, male and female, but as always... it begins with the self...

    What you think C?
    Help me out here... I’d like to hear a mans view :-)

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  5. chrome30 January 2012 at 19:41

    Indeed love should underpin marriage, though that notion has been hijacked and spun differently by all sorts. To hear the Tories say it you'd think it was some badge of honour. Tax breaks for married couples? what planet are they on? social conservatism will be the death of us.

    Tyrese has a point though I think he's not addressing it fully - should also be talking to we black guys. he's bought into parts of society's view on the matter. The independence as he frames it implies its a guard that blocks black men from forming meaningful long lasting relationships with black women, doesn't let us in. some truth, but a big part of the problem is how we men in the UK see our womenfolk. In my naija circle lord knows the number of garbled responses I've gotten from brethrens signalling they want to go back "home" to find a "bride". what's wrong with the black ladies over here (and that cultural crap is bunk, there are nuff nuff nuff single nigerian ladies in london)? too professional and independent for you? feeling threatened ey? want a subservient village girl? heard similar views from some of my non-nigerian friends. we guys can't have it both ways I'm afraid

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  6. Dawna30 January 2012 at 20:03

    True true.. I hear that.. you are( as a man) in a great position to talk to them ( other men) and share that view.. ( in the hope they listen and reflect.. see things from another angle )improve 'relations' between the sexes..so to speak..
    I realise that the 'man feeling threatened' can be an issue.. and at it's worst, it can lead to dometic violence..
    The article does touch on the feminist issue.. or the way society views women..or single women.. ( hmmm something wrong with ya?) which may be another reason why some women go for 'mr right now.. yet mr wrong for them long term'..

    Instead of guys thinking they can do better with a 'village girl' maybe the way forward for them is to (as you imply) address the issues/barriers that prevent them from facing their fears/ insecurities, and get themselves ready for an adult relationship.. we've all got a part to play

    What do they think they will get from a girl fresh from Nigeria that they can't get from a UK Nigerian girl.?. what is it.. food?.. obedience??

    Come on guys...time to search a little deeper within perhaps

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  7. Dawna30 January 2012 at 20:14

    Quick question.. what do these guys see as thier role in the relationship?... why do they want a partner or wife? ( assuming they do) have they thought about it beyond the physical, kids, and dinner..
    They wanna go 'village'... are they paying the bride price too.? How traditional are these men in thier daily lives... do they play playstations.. rave.. etc

    I think both men and women would benefit for a period of self reflection before marriage.. prepare oneself.. yet .. if the love is true.. all those assumptions.. and 'must haves' tend to go right out the window!

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