When is it okay to ask a potential partner certain questions?
Would it be odd to ask a man very early on if he's a woman beater for example?
When is it okay to lie to a potential partner?
Is it ever okay?
What are the rules on that?..
Pretty sure no man will say yes to being a woman beater - but I could be wrong.
Men and women do appear very different in the types of things they need to know about a potential partner
I remember on a poll on this site - when I asked about deal breakers someone answered.. I have no deal breakers.. I'm grateful for whatever I get!!..which was quite cute and funny.. I have a feeling it may have been a man! ( feel free to let me know).. which is heartening in that maybe men are more relaxed and less critical towards potential partners. I would like to hear from you men about the kinds of things you look out for - or questions you need answering before getting too involved..
Until then..
Imagine this conversation over dinner if you will...
Man - Have you always struggled with your weight?
Woman - Why - do you think I'm fat?
Man - Well.. you are fat.. no need to pretend!
Woman - True.. true.. hmmmm - you do realise I'm expecting you to pay for dinner
Man - I know you expect it
Woman - Will you?
Man - This time yes.. but if we don't go back to your place after I wont be paying again!
Woman - You realise they have a name for that
Man - eh.. yes.. dating?
Woman - I can't take you back until I know a few things
Man - What do you need to know?
Woman - I have a list
Man - Take it our - read it - right through.. I'll answer what I can
Woman - OK.
(man puts down fork and looks intently into woman's eyes)
Woman - Do you have a criminal record?
Do you have a legitimate job?
How much do you earn?
Are you an adventurous lover?
Define adventurous!
Have you ever been with a man?
in fact.. I need your full sexual history please!
Any ailments or long term illnesses?
Have you ever hit a woman?
Do you have children?
Are you an involved parent?
Are you married?
Do you live alone?
Have you ever been in prison?
If so what for!
Can you cook - drive - clean - do DIY?
Finally - would you describe yourself as an honest person?
Man - Wow - that's some list..
Woman - I haven't finished...there's more on the back!
Man - eh...no thanks... that's enough for now...tell me ...do I need to answer all these questions before we can go back to yours?
Woman - I need to know
Man - Well... there are things I need to know before I answer
Woman - Ok - like what?
Man - I need to know if we're sexually compatible
Woman.. Oh for crying our loud!!!
Happy SMSx
LOL.......hmmmm that was some shopping list for real and guilty as charged perhaps a few years ago I might have come at that angle.
ReplyDeleteAmazing you go through life's trials and tribulations, ups and downs and you soon come to the realisation that yes those questions are important but you need to let things develop organically don't force perfection if it's meant to be then fate will set that pace for you.
All too often both men and women are in such a rush for everything now now now that we totally miss the point of our goal and thats to find balance, calm and happiness in our lives..
Wise words again.. yes - those forced/fast food type relationships. I have learnt also to...take time - fret not. In the past I think I've been guilty of rushing...yet not asking enough..'oh you like me - oh great - oh ok - i'm not too busy right now - let's see if it works out!!' Either that or make my own assumptions and disappear!! I'm definetly a lot more present now!! - The gift of age is wisdom (I hope)I really like where you say 'if it's meant to be then fate will set that pace for you' I would like to put this in bold. I'm sure your comment will serve as wise advise to anyone reading this - well said - thank you
ReplyDeleteDawna thank you just merely speaking from the heart and I have definitely learnt to sit tight enjoy life for what it is and let the rest fall into place. Absolutely put this sentence in bold "if it's meant to be then fate will set that pace for you"
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