"The Personal is Political" African diaspora political commentary, life-love-and music.
Sunday, 8 May 2011
Overcoming fear!
My Soul mate Sunday post is on fear today.
Fear in relationships mainly. But fear is fear however it manifests and can be vey destructive in your life. Just to be clear I’m mainly talking about emotional fears not the fear of physical danger e.g. walking alone on a dark street or the fear of falling overhead power lines :-)
It was after we lost our dad... in fact it was a few minutes after when I said to myself that I would not allow fear to stop me from doing anything I really want to do ever again. Somehow – my aim was to transfer my grief into courage – so... any time I think back to my dad I feel stronger.
What that means in reality is that even if something makes me really nervous or the thought of it terrifies me – I’ll do it anyway. I think of the worst case scenario briefly (hide my head in my hands :-)...and it’s usually something silly like embarrassment !! Or something equally minor – and then I think of the best. Then… all I would really care about is the best...I’d focus on the best … the reason I’m putting myself through whatever it may be.
Does that make sense to you?
Fear - can block your chances of finding happiness - fear of the unknown – what others may say – fear of things not working out. Yet - that sense of trepidation needs to be balanced - or replaced by a sense of unbridled joy that things will be just as you hope!
Fear can ruin communication - in that it may prevent you from really hearing what the other person is saying – or prevent you from being honest about your own feelings.
Most people will feel a sense of fear/panic at some point – but once you’ve acknowledged it - you are then more able to put it into context and share with the other person exactly how you feel. They will not only appreciate your ability to connect with them emotionally but you will probably become closer as a result..x
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Lovely post Dawna glad to hear Dad is still present by your side and always will be am sure...definitely highlights the fact that opportunity comes but once and yes we should always learn to push our fears through and take a chance....whatever the outcome am sure we can handle it.....
ReplyDeleteThank you ChilledLeo - it may feel as though you stumble from one embarrassing situation to another! - but who cares eh?..it can also be great fun! Also I think we learn more when we push our boundaries abit..you never know til you try!
ReplyDeleteI thought I'd gotten over my claustrophobia till I got stuck in a lift two years ago. luckily it was only for an hour but boy did I panic, sweating like a pig. my colleagues I was stuck with were laughing
ReplyDeleteChrome - lifts freak me out also I must confess! not just the small space but the thought of the cable snapping and the entire thing plummeting to the ground!! ..I hope I haven't just added to yours! Not all lifts though.. just the old creaky ones..
ReplyDeleteNice post.
ReplyDeleteBut I think that a little fear isn't such a bad thing. There are some things that we're supposed to fear. It's one thing to constantly give into it, it's another to never listen to it.
To Chrome's point, I work with a woman that suffers the same phobia and she was stuck in an elevator between floors. She screamed and screamed and screamed, she was alone in the elevator. I called our building's manager to repair the elevator, but before he got there I simply pushed the elevator button and it started working again. That woman was a mess when the doors opened. She looked like she'd seen the devil.
Good point Reggie.. can be a way of keeping you on your toes.. a warning perhaps?.. a little nervous energy can also feel good somtimes. May even signal a passion - or indicate you have strong feeling about something. Wow. That lady you work with has a serioussss phobia there - and to think she had the courage in the first place to get in - only for that to happen!! poor thing - her heart must have been beating like crazy!
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