Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Cue tears....and a whole lot more...

I got a call last night.
“Why are you not writing on your blog?”
I shook it off.
The person was not pleased... what they know of me they felt I was bottling things up... harbouring pain which was really not my own... needed to let it go

So I said to myself this morning...write ...something
Come on D... you can do it...
Truth is... events of late had left me speechless. Not without thought I must say... but without the ability to truly share what I was thinking and feeling...coherently, without going into detail.
I was speechless for many reasons. I was also disappointed, hurt, confused, and ‘shook’. Felt as though, again I was on ‘planet Dawna’... with only one inhabitant... me

Still... what’s that they say?... that which doesn’t kill you and all that....?
Hmmm... it felt like I was dying inside
But it’s true what 'they' say. The people around you can make a huge difference when push comes to shove.
They can remind you of who you are... when you appear to have forgotten, and the pain has blinded you.... all be it temporarily.
They are able to be objective.

It has been an emotional and difficult time. Cue a river of tears, misunderstandings, understandings, and a whole lot more.
Cue texting in the early hours to a sweet girl friend and receiving back words of compassion, empathy and encouragement.
Cue family. Cue colleague.
Life eh...
There are times when all appears well and seemingly out of the blue you come up against a real challenge, and despite all your knowledge and experience you’re not sure what to do.
Time has begun to help me. I was reminded it would. At the time I felt... nothing would.
I’m beginning to feel centred again.
I guess when your heart is open to love... its open to a whole lot more as well...

Was that coherent? I don’t know... possibly a bit abstract for most...
Well... it’s not much... but it’s a start
So how are things now?...
Been a struggle sure.. but... seem to be getting there...

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