Sunday, 11 March 2012

Try a little *tenderness...

I meet a lot of black women who have been single for a long time, who say categorically, they will not date outside their race.
I’ll be specific... they say they will not date a white man... (Even though they go crazy for the Italian looking ones... hmmm... anyway....)

Anytime I ask them why, they state things like racism, slavery, lack of colour... all valid points... or are they?...
Racism and slavery have not only scarred the white populous, but black as well, in that there are a lot of messed up self hating black men out there, running around dating every which way.. and loose.. who won’t be coming their way any day... on a month of Sunday.
Harsh?... maybe... true?... very likely

Truth is subjective perhaps.. but hear me out...
Some black men now struggle to relate to black women... black women remind them of something...
Many fear they can’t keep up?... perhaps some feel less of a man as they struggle to find a role, or make a contribution...
How is this sometimes played out?...He competes with her... she competes with him.. so they're now competitors instead of lovers... which can turn to haters... trust is ruined..he runs away... she runs away.. both deny their truth

And then you have some black women who say they won’t date outside of their race because of slavery ect..yet... many of them too...have bought into the Anglo Asian beauty ideal... the irony.. go figure..
I don’t get it
Not really... I think I do get it...

Listen... I don’t really want to have to explain the racism or slavery thing to any man... I don’t care what colour he is... but trust me... it’s a hell of a lot worse... if it’s a black man you’re speaking to... and don’t think that can’t happen..it can....to say lost, would not describe the phenomena well enough.
Sad, but true

So... the reality is, it could take a lifetime for some of these guys to get it together... many... never will
What is a girl to do?..
Okay... the lack of colour thing?.. Get over it... maybe watch some interracial porn or something to get you used to the idea...
(Did she just say porn on a Sunday? yep... I’m afraid I did)
You see... the men these women are waiting on ... are not waiting for them.
These beautiful, fabulous women alone, night after night... raising children, enough... say it with me... Enough.

I’m just wondering... if these men really can’t see the beauty in these women... if they really don’t know how to treat them right

Well...I’m just wondering if the time has come for these women .... to let the ‘brothers’ go ... and just get on with their lives..

As I said...I'm just wondering...

Oh...talking of brothers....
It’s my brothers birthday today. (I have 3) Happy Birthday bro... ( he wouldn’t agree with any of this.. probably moan about women) lol... let him moan...he’s never likely to come across this .. never.. ever..ever....funny really!!..
I’m not even gonna text him.. can’t be bothered
He knows how to have fun... in his own way....he’ll be okay

* Disclaimer... I'm not saying white men are tender... trust me.. I really wouldn't know!! what I am saying is that these single black women do deserve love and tenderness... they should be open to it... it may not arrive in the package they wanted... the stats are appalling... something must change.
Clearly there is an issue.. but people seem reluctant to address what the issue may actually be...
Has racism screwed up black relationships?...Is that all it really is?.. that thing which many think is a thing of the past.. is it still destroying families?...
Could it be?.....


  1. I did text him after all... how could I not eh.. he's my bro.. very happy he was too! GIVE THANKS SIS!X' he yelled back at me.. *smiles* .. plonker

  2. Haha ur funny Dawna happy birthday to your brother...

    I do think the italians are oooohh what I would go for if I had to choose......porn I want some of that loool. OK so back to my point I was trying to get to know a black guy re one of my dating antics....well it turned out he had been with a white woman for 7years his call but never married her...a bit suspect.

    OK so he is now in his 40s wanting to potentially start dating a black woman with the view of marriage.

    Ehrmmmmm dude has a slight problem here all he has known for 7years is dealing with a white woman so what makes him think he can now switch to black??. I posed the question his answer was rubbishhhhhhhh needless to say I got of that train pronto. Brother didnt know what he wanted.....

  3. O-kay.. well he sounds slightly deranged.
    So many questions.. like, why does he want to marry a black woman.. why not be seeking 'the right woman' for him?
    I suspect in all those 7yrs he possibly didn't have one good word to say about black women at all... ( still..thats a whole other issue.. where attack is the best form of defense... why is it necessary?..)
    Who knows eh...
    Shucks...that's another thing we need to say 'Enough'.. to.

    Well.. you've churned up a whole other debate potentially.. as in .. is there really a difference?.. and if so.. what is it?
    Anyway you switched the argument..back to you Chilled.. I take it you agree in principle?

  4. The only way I could be with a man for 7yrs and NOT marry him.. is if I was married already lol:)...( and you know I would never do that ;).. no... taking the piss he was!!
    still.. people marry the 'wrong' people all the time I guess.. so credit to him for holding out.. and look at that Chilled... you dumped him mid interview!

  5. Dawna I have been married for 22 years and my 23rd wedding anniversary is in July. Well, the truth is, I might not make it to my 23rd. This has been a rough year for my wife and I. We sold our house last year, with the intention of splitting up, it just hasn't happened yet. The reasons I suppose are irrelevent, but at this point I can't say that we're gonna make it over this hump. Oh I want to, but I'm just not sure we will. Like so many things in life, some things are out of our hands. I understand what you're saying about people of other races. I have NEVER dated outside of my race and I've never really wanted to either. No matter what happens in my current relationship, I will always be with a woman of color. That's my preference and I don't see that changing any time soon.

  6. LOL Dawna the brother had to go I suspect with his preconception about black women he may go on to date them but not actually marry one then again he might......at 40 never married no kids hmmm could have been a tough one wished him all the best though ;-)

  7. easy to wish the ones we don't want the very best eh lol!!... even help set them up if it means they get the heck away from us right :)
    I'm kidding...
    but you've made me think ( again) Chilled.. 40, never married, no kids... thats' a whole chunk of a mans emotional development missing... potentially..
    What real life experience/s would he have brought to the table?.. unless he was busy travelling the world or something... even then... emotionally?...

    I suspect there are many more like him... interesting... on paper... he should be a catch.. no ex- wives etc...

  8. Reggie.. I hope things work out between you and your wife... I really do... these things are not easy...

  9. on point a whole chunck of emotional development missing indeed not for me..