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Sunday, 18 March 2012

Happy Mother’s Day..Mums x

You know I forgot all about it?
Well until yesterday... when I was reminded..
Anyway...

I’ve never had any sort of 'special thing' on that day...
The odd card, greeting from the ‘kids’ that kind of thing...
I have always refrained from stating the obvious. "If you wanted me to be ‘happy’ you’d do as I say... do the dishes and hoovering. Tidy your room, take out the bins and all that jazz without me ever having to say a word"... No... I refrain from all that, as to say such things would spoil the gesture they are wanting to make.
It’s a nice gesture.
Thank you kids.

***
Anyway. I want to talk about black African Caribbean mothers for a moment, and ask a few questions. Some to be fair, are just comments really, and relate to the female of the species, mothers or not.

Question 1
Why do black women slap themselves on the tops of their heads in public? I saw a woman do it in Argos yesterday and it looked utterly ridiculous... (Is it the itching thing?)

Why do some think that the way to dance with a man is... not to face him (as is the way I’ve always known it) but to turn their backs, (rude?) then begin to gyrate the buttocks in a circular motion? Is that really dancing together?... can you do that to a Lionel Richie song? ...hmmm show me please

Many black mothers like to know how old a child can be before we can legally send them to the shops... and that will be to actually do the shopping. Self raising flour (for dumplings) Yams, plantain... what do you think? 7yrs?

For years my own mother used Oil of Ulay to stay young and fresh... how odd... every black woman knows its cocoa butter.. ( shucks... I think mum raised me like a white girl... Oil of Ulay?... W.T.F!?!)

Forget ‘Tiger mums’ black women are like true warriors when it comes to their children... (No matter how old they become)... well... that’s how it used to be anyway

Breakfast in bed? No... crumbs in the bed are unpleasant. We will bathe, dress nicely, go downstairs and eat at the table like normal people.

Mothers day sex? That’s more on point (no pun intended).. but hang on.. isn't that how we became mothers in the first place...

Black women like most (if not all) women want to be taken somewhere nice and treated like princesses...or just simply enjoy being adored

So on a day like mother’s day, the best gift may simply be... to be around... offering hugs and kisses at random intervals.
I fancy a trip out, but I suspect I’ll be staying in working today.

(I do like teasing at times)x
Happy SMSx

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