The hopeless romantic?...

Is a phrase you often hear used to describe those of a romantic nature.
I’m a romantic.
But not hopeless.
I am actually filled with hope. The hopeful romantic if you like.
I like to encourage others to open their hearts to endless possibilities and not build a wall around it...as walls... work both ways.

The person in my life said he needs time and space to sort himself out, and I panicked.
Time and space!?!. Why would anyone need time and space from me!?!... This cute and charming girl, loving and kind... is he crazy?
Truth is, he’s not crazy. He does.

One of my closest friends came around the other day armed with two books.
One was The road less travelled, and the other? ..The Kama Sutra!... I kid... it wasn’t the Kama Sutra... it was a book called; Women who love too much.
The book is filled with case stories about male and female relationships and why we often make the choices we do.
The title of the book betrays its content. It’s actually a very insightful book.
I found elements of myself between the pages of that book in varying degrees... and It prompted me to ask myself questions also.

We talked.
She pulled out a bottle of white wine from her bag. I’m not big on drink and never drink white wine but thought... one glass wouldn’t hurt.
I appreciated her warmth.

She asked me what the problem was
I said I missed him (it had only been a day!)
“So what do you miss about him?”
I told her.
“His voice, face, company, smile, eyes, touch, laugher , thoughts, his theories, the way he looks at me, his scent, the way he holds my hand, kisses my hand, laughs at my jokes, is intrigued by me, the thought he could be my husband, the thoughts and plans, discussions, our potential future ... him”
“hmmm...sounds crazy” she said... “but try and enjoy those thoughts!... Don’t think you will never have them again or that you don’t have them now, just think about them and enjoy what you have experienced together”
She took a sip of wine... and continued...
“If he loves you ... he will be back...” she read my mind ... “and if he doesn’t ... you will know!
"Why can’t he just do what I want?"... I sighed...
“and what do you want him to do?” asked
I looked at her... “I want him to sort himself out!”
I sipped some wine... and read hers
She laughed... “In a way perhaps you both want the same thing... you see you can’t control people or situations... she said “if you love someone you have to let them do what is needed... what they want...
Let him go... it’s as I said earlier... if he loves you he will return
Her insight was agreeable to me... and disagreeable in equal measure... perhaps it was the wine.
Then she asked
“In any case... do you not have things to do?... a dissertation to submit?... are you not supposed to be returning to the studio after you long hiatus?.. .are these things not equally important in your life and what you want your life to be?... do you not need time and space too?
I knew she was right... I do need time
And that I should trust him.. trust us... and recognise that life is not linear.

We talked awhile longer... sipped some more wine... until my eyes began to close... and it was time to call it a night.
The next day I awoke with a raging headache to accompany me to work.

White wine... it really doesn’t agree with me