The rise and rise of the Lonely men

Some weekends I sit and talk with a friend whilst my clothes dry in the laundry. He's the hardest working man I know.
I admire him.
I knew him before he set up his business, and I've witnessed his struggles, and successes.
He's still doing his thing.. all these years later.

I met him when my children where babies. He used to be my cab driver, and he'd ferry me to and from my mums or anywhere else I needed to go.

Sometimes... I just sit. It's a space away from it all. I sit and listen to the machines going around and around, as I watch the world go by through the window.

This weekend however, another friend arrived. I've known him almost 20yrs now. As we chatted, he told me he was on his own, as his wife was away. I have no idea for how long but he said he was a 'free man'
"So what are you gonna do with all that freedom?" I asked
He laughed..
He had no idea. In fact.. he really wasn't enjoying it at all.
He was lonely.
"There you go".. I said.. "Men often go through their lives be-moaning the fact that they have a woman in thier life (loving them, which they may interpret as nagging or suffocating) demanding freedom and 'space'...yet when you have real 'freedom'.." I said, .."you don't know what to do with it".
"Lost".
He agreed that it wasn't good to be alone. He pondered on whether he should have had more than one child when he had the chance.. decided to trust the gods on that one.. told me he hadn't forgotten he'd promised me a ticket to the Ivory Coast.. then left.
Kinda Forlorn.
He's always kinda forlorn looking anyway...
But this time, I assume he was missing his wife.

Google picture source [ajsartjournal.wordpress.com]

So today's news report that men over 50 in the UK are experiencing extreme loneliness (and i'm sure they are many reasons for this) came as no surprise to me.

I know what it's like to be lonely. Truly lonely. I've experienced it many times over the course of my life. People never believe me when I say it.. but it's true.
There are times when that loneliness feeds ( or has fed) my creativity, there are times when it's sole impact has been to further fuel my pain.
It's life.
A blessing and a curse
It's perhaps my occasional cross to bear

In truth, loneliness does not discriminate... and it's possible to be lonely in a crowd.

However.. you can hazzard a guess that a single man with no wife, girlfriend or family, no income other than state benefits, and few friends.. will be lonely .. and find that your guess is correct.
Losing a loved one can totally alter ones life. Children grow up, jobs are won and lost, and friends may move on... This is why a sole reliance on the eurocentric nuclear family is risky business. I much prefer Ubuntu.

I think deep down we all do.

I honestly believe that of all we have.. all we may acquire.. the thing that keeps us truly 'alive' is the opportunity to share our lives with others. Humans cannot live fulfilled lives, in isolation. That is why solitary confinement is considered a harsh punishment.

Google picture source [urbantimes.co/2014/07/african-world-changers]

We are social beings. We need each other.
We need someone to love
and someone to help us grow

Guardian Article excerpt
'Men with poor health, low incomes, few qualifications and living in rented housing are hit hardest by loneliness, which Independent Age defines as the feeling of not liking isolation. Mother Theresa said it is “the worst disease that any human being can ever experience”. Source Guardian [click]

That these men are lonely is a concern, and often because unlike women..men tend not to express how they feel.. if they feel vulnerable or sad, they may keep it inside. I don't know why .. maybe it's not macho or something.