Wednesday 31 July 2013

Sweet sounds - from one of my favourite movies - Love and Basketball

I'm due a movie night filled with rom-com heavenly movies like this, and.. Brown Sugar
Suits me just fine.

There's a movie staring Beyonce and Cuba Gooding Jr, that I fell asleep watching once, but vaguely remember liking it.. I can't quite remember the name, but once I do.. that'll be on the list also.

Hope you all had a fine day.. Thursday is almost upon us

Thought of the day - Robert Mugabe

Tuesday 30 July 2013

Who would I be if I were a boy

I would be a boisterous boy
I would be cool... perhaps like (a reformed) Samuel L Jackson, or David Beckham.

I would be smart but not arrogant ( well maybe a little).
I would seek to define myself by what I do... my special contribution to the world... and not what I have, or own.
I would seek to honour my father, learning from him, adopting his strengths, and strengthening his weaknesses. I would want to know who he was, but accept if that were not possible.
Ultimately..I would strive to be my own man.

I would take care of my mother.
If I had children of my own, I would be a good father, respecting and assisting the woman who bore my children, whether we still shared a bed... or not.
If I were with a woman who had children who were not of my flesh... I would treat them as if they were, becoming a role model... mentor... a positive aspect of their lives... I would be a father, still.
I would seek not a woman who was perfect... just one who was perfect for me.
I would be playful... and no doubt flirt... but I'd fight the urge to go overboard..
I would try to date one at a time... despite knowing I could date many...

I would see my role as a provider... being smart with money, but not mean. I would be generous, I would strive to improve myself... and support and encourage my partners hopes and dreams also.
Yet I would be wary... and very... very... observant
I would choose wisely.
I suspect.. I would be an egoist... and reminded of that by others from time to time... to little avail.
But I would try to learn.. try to be better.
I would make the most of my free time... reveling in the benefits that comes with being a man.

I would be aware that I may have more obstacles to overcome... but take strength and wisdom from my heritage... my past... redefining my future through my willingness to develop spiritually and intellectually

I would work out. Toning my arms, abs and stomach, as best i can... knowing however, that should they extend outwards... it’s cool. Because I am man.
I may feel safe in the knowledge that growing older...greyer.. fatter... is often seen as a sign of wisdom and maturity, but for me?.. I would aim to make that.. a truism.

I would be a good cook, and handy with a sowing machine... despite my macho exterior.
I would be helpful, and not helpless.
I would be like still waters.

I would write.
I would write love letters to woo my intended… and feel a sense of pride that she keeps them a box.. or brags about them to her friends...
Although I’d never tell her that.
I’d never want to make her cry, but do my best to keep her happy, so I’d listen.. even if she gets on my nerves and won’t shut up.
I would want to earn more. Not just because of the pressure I may feel to be the main provider.. but because of my ego.
Society expects… and I am a man after all.
I would probably be fearful of doctors and dentists... but I’d attend my appointments anyway. Not for minor things.. only when I really need to.
Perhaps I would never admit to being scared or lonely..lost.. insecure..or wrong.. and never ever would I cry in public. But I'd know, someday, I would.
I would feel as though this world was made for me
That I have a right.. Just because
I may even secretly enjoy the old creation story
I’d smile a lot... I’d be funny
I’d be flawed
I’d be a boy..I’d be a man
I'd be as god intended
I’d be loving… and lovable

But I'm not... a boy

Sunday 28 July 2013

Who knows you best?

I had a lazy day today.
Aside from the usual cooking, washing, watering plants ( which I must do again in a moment) it's been a day to catch up on a little news, check out a few Blogs, a little reading, and a little TV.

It's fair to say..not much in the way of excursion.

Watching Mr &'s funny to see how the couples often resemble each other
It makes sense, yet I know many couples who look nothing like each other, but in those cases, I've found something in their personalities, that have been quite similar.

I think it's great when someone really knows you, gets you, and understands your quirks
How long did it take for your other half to really know you?
For some.. it can take years.. and the joy is in the discovery

For tonight's bedtime read I think I'll begin to tackle Soul on Ice.. it's been staring at me, and I need to take it back soon..

My Bloggers Sunday

I enjoy reading Blogs, so it's a shame when people delete them.

I guess they delete them for various reasons, boredom, loss of motivation,loss of focus, not enough time... or perhaps forgetting why they began blogging in the first place. I enjoy reading Blogs, more so than newspapers (which I only do online now) as I find them more personal, direct, (sometimes) honest,informative, and the diversity of thought can be outstanding.

In truth, I don't check out as many Blogs as I'd like to. So I've decided to rectify that. I'm hoping I guess, to hear and learn more about people from around the world... countries that interest me, such as Zimbabwe, the Congo, and other Africa countries... hear a new perspective... feel inspired... laugh... learn something new... or even tick me off.

After studying war conflict and development last term, I became even more enthused in the subject matter. So will look into that more.

I also know that right here in the UK, there are some amazing people, writing from the heart, that I haven't yet stumbled across...I'm looking.

So... It's a Bloggers Sunday for me.
It’s a beautiful day... and cool in the shade.

An interesting debate on TV earlier reminded me that I need to read A Clash of Civilizations. I’ve read excerpts, and will try and pick it up from the library.

For some of us, Blogging is the only 'voice' we have left, in a democracy that's not a democracy.. but still a democracy.

Saturday 27 July 2013

Wacky dreams..

Dreams can be funny things.
A friend of mine said that our dreams speak to us, that is..if we learn how to interpret them, that answers can be found, to puzzling questions.

Often I suspect this is the case.
Our subconscious comes to the fore during our 'sleeping state' and suppressed feelings emerge.
Sometimes we forget our dreams, other times, we remember them clearly.
Rarely(I think) do we act on them.. they can be difficult to interpret.

I've had a few strange dreams lately. At this moment I can't quite remember them fully, but what stuck in my mind about a recent dream was a guy with his legs wide open.. with smelly feet.
I was trying to mend a hole in his pants or something... something also about his smelly feet.. contemplating how best to sort out the smell

New cultures.. or old returnees?

New shops seem to be opening at a rapid rate in the area that I live. Shops, cafes… you name it... they're springing up.

I remember the days when if you told a person you lived in Hackney they'd make a joke about it being tough... or rough... an area where no right minded, intelligent or decent person would choose to live. A placed designated prime research material for social scientists and the like…a hotbed of ethnic communities some would say... useful for do-gooders, and not so do-gooders... but hey...either way… wouldn’t wanna live there.
Or so I’ve heard.
Yet I’ve never found it so.
But then... I am an ethnic... so to speak.

I know many people that (once their income increased) chose to leave. Fed up with the jibes, and preferring to boost their social stature... perhaps.
Many of us have heard of ‘White flight’ occurring across London, yet that is something which occurred in many areas across London many years ago.
Fearful of a reduction in home value... or just fearful... who knows.
I know that areas such as Tower Hamlets, Harlesden, and even Hackney, where large numbers of black or ethnic minorities live, are often classified as 'areas in need of regeneration'.. poor.. or just plain undesirable.

In many cases, yes.. these have been areas in need of regeneration, have appeared quite run down, and have been plagued with unemployment. Fortunately, in some areas, regeneration has taken place, and continues to take place.

Our ‘socially disadvantaged communities’... where national, political, power structures, or causes of inequality are rarely fully addressed, instead, it's often the cultures themselves, and the pathology existing within these communities that are deemed the root cause.
Which for some (in the past at least) could be potentially contagious
Are things different now?

Perhaps I am biased. Maybe if I had lived in a rundown area in Newcastle or Sheffield (picked at random)I would have found it difficult. Perhaps there would have been.. 'Black flight'..
Perhaps we all seek out those who are similar to us, and are uncomfortable, vulnerable and exposed in places where we feel like a minority.
I say perhaps as I've always been a minority.. and I've been fine.
However, I know, that we are all different
I enjoy living in Hackney...and have always seen its beauty... it has always been 'trendy' to me.

I’ve known my local 'shop man' for years... same with the 'laundry man'... and to be honest I hope they remain, and are not priced out... for if they are.. I will no longer know my local store owners... or feel a sense of community with them. I fear that our ‘relationships’ may be reduced to a financial exchange only… minimal humanity, where my only worth is my money (lots of it, or get lost) and not my smile, feedback on how my children are doing, how the store owners themselves are getting on, or our occasional witty conversation
Yet things are changing. Places such as Hackney are now considered desirable places to live, and house prices have rocketed.

What is this change in hearts and minds, and how has it come about?
Is it the knowledge that with investment, pretty much any place can be transformed? Or is it something else?
I took a stroll today to buy a little veg, and salad 'stuffs'. I navigated the tables and chairs strewn across the pavement (I’ll get back to that later) and picked up a few things. What I noticed pretty soon, is that the prices have gone up. My regular grocers, used to do a deal... two cucumbers for £1 or 59p each…same with the lettuce. Yes folks.. that’s a massive saving of ... ooohh... 18p?
Now?...well… they’re still 59p each...just - No deal!. I picked up one anyway, in the realisation that my old money is no longer as sort after as the new money not only on show, but actually available.
Sure enough, If you want ‘deals’ now... it would appear, one would have to travel to the Market Place. The ‘Market Place’... hmmm okay.. nuff said.

So... as I walked back, I wondered about the seeming obsession with eating and drinking outdoors. The visual obsession with the continental dining style. Surely this ‘eating and drinking outdoors’ can be done in back gardens, parks, or even beer gardens, designated spaces... which do not clutter our pavements and corners, as they currently do. I fear we are on the verge of a small table overload.

Will our pavements, be places where one can walk freely again?... or do I need to pull up a chair also?
On the continent, I'm informed that people tend to be fairly relaxed. Brits?... we are notoriously what gives?
Perhaps, if I pull up a chair, I will become less uptight... perhaps... but I don’t think I’d get much work done.
I'm not entirely convinced by this change. Is it an internal shift, or purely an external expression? Is it a desire to create a new culture?... or simply a way of 'pissing out new territory lines?' Is it a passing trend? a phase?.. or here to stay?.

There is an upside to the changes taking place in my local area, one being that it's a great way to balance out what appeared to be, too many betting shops and pawn brokers per square mile... yes now... it's a far better mix... of shops anyway.
With regards to the diversity of peoples, classes, and cultures on the other hand... that's an entirely different matter. I see clear divisions emerging, so are we going forwards.. or back.
And… does it even matter anymore?...

We saw a helicopter today... I asked my bro to pull up so I could take a photo... how sad am I?
Well... it's not everyday I get the chance to see one up close and personal in my area
Just so you know... I'm not the only one to take photos... the car behind us did the exact same thing.
Hope whoever needed it's assistance is okay.

Friday 26 July 2013

Art for the people Banksy?

I've passed a few Banksy's when out and about - and very nice they are too.. the mystery.. just who is Banksy?.
What I like is that they become part of the feel of an area, a special kind of unique London-esque quality.
A statement... this is our art
Until it's decided that a slab of wall can be easily removed and sold for millions..
Okay Banksy..

Banksy Art removed from Tottenham wall

Bathtime reads..

Athletes have 'perfect' butts.

Okay, that aside... I thought I'd share with you my bath-time read.
Make of it what you will, but give it a go..
go on... try it.. you may or may not tell me what you think
It may or may not resonate with you

but here it is

A Return to Love - by Marianne Williamson Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles

It's a book I've had on my shelf yet never read. I found the e you do
When I locate the full book again, i'll re-post, but these are highlights

Some may be put off by the word God.. but still..
It's there if you feel it

Okay.. Bolts out.. signing off for now..

Friday night and..

I’ve decided to stay home and watch the athletics. The Sainsbury's Anniversary Games. It’s really exciting.
I love athletics.
I’m watching the juniors at the moment, the 4x100m
Weir not long ago won the 200m
James the 4
Big names, alongside the up and coming
This time last year we had the London Olympics.. and it was fantastic.

This week, this week, this week.
I’ve had to fit a lot in this week, so I’m glad it’s behind me, that it’s the weekend, and I have a chance to do other things.
And right now, that includes doing… as little as possible

Blogging whilst watching TV.


Sometimes I find that some of the best teachers did not even set out to become teachers. Many wouldn't even describe themselves as teachers, have never trained as teachers, and have no idea that it’s teachers...they be...
Everyday folk, living everyday lives.
Yet the lessons we learn from them, can be invaluable
We are all teachers, and we are all students, and 'forever' that shall remain

Tuesday 23 July 2013

1 for the girls..

Texts may cost more...

TV Competitions..
The questions can be so... ahem.. hard

For example..

Goldilocks and the three..

A. Armpits
B. Sailing Ships
C. Bears

Ever want to pick the wrong one just for the sake of it?

We don't know it all..the blank page..

Is no longer blank...

Low self-esteem is like happiness for me, it comes and goes.

Today it's neither high nor low... rather...floundering a little.. yes.. that may be one way to describe the current malaise.

I’ve definitely had a slight feeling of unease today but I can’t quite put my finger on why. You’d think that as one got older things would become clearer, but that’s not always the case. There comes a point where I feel the need to assess where I am in life, measure my happiness and contentment quota, and re-evaluate. New lessons, new challenges, yet hopefully enough tools in the experience tool box to deal with things.

So on days like this I wonder, should I be concerned on low days?, or just accept them in the knowledge that ‘this too shall pass?
I know that contentment does not reside outside of myself, but is best sought after and possibly attained by being introspective.
What really makes me tick?

I wonder if having been on full throttle for years, doing this and that, has rendered me fearful of any other gear. But things are changing, children are older, as am I, and it’s okay to change gear.. the question for me is... do I want to?
If I’m honest, I would say that there are times when I feel I haven’t done as much or achieved as much as I set out to. That makes me question why, yet answers evade me.
In truth, I’ve experienced and achieved a great deal over the years so should never devalue that.. it annoys me that I do at times, without even realizing it.
I wonder if I’m measuring my achievements by what others have expected of me, but in truth I know it’s me... judging myself on what I’ve always expected of, and for, myself
I know that happiness can be found in contentment, so I should aim to feel content... to accept where I am right now, and not project an unknown, and indefinite future onto the present day… yet we are told.. and told often, that 'a failure to plan... is a plan to fail'.

"Life is what happens when you're busy making plans"

Yes, I have plans, what I need to enact perhaps…is patience.
Patience can feel like a procrastinators job lot of gold… but it truly is a virtue, and faith?… faith is the absolute confidence.. in universal law/s.

So where does the low self-esteem come from, and why does it appear then disappear like Houdini?
I was once told
“No one has the ability to squander a talent quite like you”
Who told me that?
To be honest, I’m not sure… oddly I think perhaps... I did.
My inner voice.
I have a feeling that my inner voice picked up over the years, the thoughts and expressions of some, embraced them, and then decided to torment me with the statement ever since. Not every day, but on occasions.
There are days I’m absolutely sure of what my talents are, and days when I’m not so sure.
I could seek guidance, but the bottom line is, no one can do the things that I must do for myself.
Only I … reside in my skin.. feel what I feel.. and hear what I hear.. the way that I hear it

I believe that our lives are most rewarding when we are of service to others. A selfish life seems un-fulfilling.

However, I sought the wisdom of others this evening, and read an article which asked its readers to reflect on the statement…
"It’s not all about you.."
So I did.


Today many Rastas celebrate H.I.M Emperor Haile Selassie's birthday
This day is also my dads anniversary. 12 years gone.

Time goes by quickly.. some things appear unchanged whilst other things change forever

Monday 22 July 2013

Who do you admire most in the world?..

I admire lots of people.
In fact... I often seek out things to admire. People are interesting, and all possess a quality of some kind worthy of admiration, whether they realise it or not, choose to embrace it or not.

I admire my children. I think they're great. They are lovely people, they are very close, and each has admirable qualities, unique to them.
My daughter has grown into a better version of me. ( But not me) She's beautiful, independent, funny, strong balanced, caring, and happier at the moment than I’ve ever known her. She is doing what she is happy doing, and I'm happy with that. We get along much better now she's grown and no longer a teenager.
That's what every parent wants isn't it?.. to know that their children are safe and happy.

I have friends, or acquaintances that I admire. Often from a distance.
Sometimes I admire their wisdom, other times, their strength, other times, patience, or an ability to do something that I cannot.
I can appreciate our differences.

I admire my older siblings
I learnt a lot from them, watching them, hearing them talk about things...
Got on my nerves plenty too

Most of all however, the person I admire the most is... my mum.
I admire my mum, for the person she is. My mother has qualities that I find truly admirable. My mum wasn't a good mum... she was a great mum.
Still is.

Her commitment to us as children, for every Easter bonnet she ever made, meal she cooked, clothes she made,cakes she baked, standing in the snow watching cross country runs.. everything.
Her compassion has always stood out to me, from as far back as I can recall
For all of us.. and all she meets.
I watched her care for my dad, at the toughest of times, even when she was exhausted.
Watched her care for others, give to others, loyal and loving.
She says things at time classic to her generation.. her homeland

Watched her handle 'ladies' who perhaps hoped to prey on my dad, with grace and class...
I observed a lot. I could fill the page about my mum
One day I might, right now I’m tired... had a drink... and Tiras just threw a chip in my eye...!?
Now hes asking me questions about the Royals.. got me watching some monarchy show..

Royal baby news

It had slipped my mind.. but not now..
What will they name him?.. Henry perhaps?

It's all over the news right now...a 41 gun salute more

I thought they would have a girl but no.. A boy.. born to be King.

Happy parents.. congratulations to them. They do appear a lovely couple, certainly an attractive and happy pair,
Yes the birth of a child should be a happy occasion for any parent/s
Often it is.. yet sadly.. often it isn't

Made me think of those women out there with no-one by their side, for whatever reason.. no-one to celebrate with.. just them and their baby.. whose name few even care to know..
Not born to be King.. just born..
Who these children grow to be however, could change the world for the better, or not. They are born without fan-fair, they will make their way.

* I wonder if the cameramen camped outside the hospital were there for the birth of their own child/children (If they have them of course)*

It's good news, glad they are both well.
This will surely lift the mood of the nation. I was thinking..It's actually quite difficult not to form an attachment to the Monarchy, or at least have an interest, an opinion, or occasionally cast a glance.

Besides..a national feel good factor is always welcome

* Born Equal?*

Kelly Rowland - Talk a good game

Kelly's new album
Many people had a favourite member of Destiny's Child.. mine was always Kelly.
Great together, yet top artists in their own right -

I'll feature a few.. check out the rest if you like

This song reminds me of a bye-gone era

Kelly, Beyonce and Michelle..

Title track

Sunday 21 July 2013

Anuthea..Maxi Priest.. chill out zone

Enjoy your SMSx
The temperature outside right now is.. perfect degrees

Maxi Priest

Merry go rounds

I’ve never been much of a fan of merry-go-rounds.

Remember them?

The imposing circular iron frame, the smooth motion, big space to jump on.
Clissold Park in Stokenewington.. The Roundabout (as we called it then)
It was there that I learnt I couldn’t stand them. As inviting as they appeared to be. I’d get on the thing and after a few turns, I’d be feeling sick and dizzy, desperately keen to get off.
Still... I‘d go back to the park again... call it the folly of youth...immaturity… memory lapse... or just plain silly... but I’d get on that ride, and sure enough .. within minutes, I’d feel sick and dizzy... eager to get off.

But I did stop. Eventually.
Any trip to the park after the revelation that a particular outcome was pretty much a done deal… guaranteed that I happily stayed off that ride. Its appeal faded. It no longer looked imposing or inviting... no... the swing and the sandpit provided hours of fun after that.
Fast forward into adulthood and I realize that life can often be the stuff of merry-go-rounds...
Getting on rides where you know any pleasure is short lived, and the end outcome won’t make you feel good.
If I personalise this post for a moment, one such ride for me would be to worry less, and to make fun of (or minimise) negative thoughts that will come up.
Know It’s okay to have an opinion… then let it be

Ever been on a merry-go-round?

Return of the King - Boondocks

Those of you who have seen this series before will know it's not P.C, and the language can be outrageous. If you've never seen it.. be warned.. it's not for the overly sensitive. Best perhaps if you have an odd sense of humour

This episode is interesting. Interesting allegory.
Kings Speech at the end is something else.
Note this line...'and no..I wont get there with ya.. I'm going to Canada!'

Above the law - S.A

Weapons and un-disciplined testosterone..
Not a good mix at all.
Violence - the not so hidden legacy of years of Apartheid, and unbridled brutality.

Some may say - ' can't blame apartheid now..these are now black officers involved in this behaviour' Yes it is. Perhaps, when you believe that life is of little value, or that dark skin equals less than..those poorer deserve little respect, perhaps if you obtain symbols of power, and become power crazed after years of not having any, it can be a dangerous mix.
It's complicated
*On another related note...decent homes for all.. please.. I'm convinced it can be done. Not just in S.A, but all over the world. Make your country a slum free zone... try*

Two films examining race and class
Worth listening carefully to this - interesting documentary

The Power of Introverts - TED talk

Very interesting indeed

Obama's Press call

Speaks quite candidly on a difficult topic

Saturday 20 July 2013

Sounds of summer

I love reworked revival songs

I'm far more used to the Freddie Mcgregor version .. but this is nice..sweet

Traditional UK lovers rock.. perfect for just pottering about in the garden

Had a pleasant enough day, got the housework done early, which always helps
Hope you all had an enjoyable day, whether you did a lot.. or a little

Lovers call Bitty Mcclean

Yes.. it's a great song Bitty

Self-limiting beliefs..

Can be hard to identify.
They seem to exist in the subconscious, but can play out in our lives in some way
That's when it can be really helpful to get constructive feedback.. easier when it comes from someone you trust and admire, yet even if that's not the case, it may be useful to listen to the feedback anyway, eliminating what may be a deliberate attempt to simply hurt your feelings, and assessing if there is any truth in what you’re told.
Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't

I remember last year writing a list of what I consider to be my positive and negative traits. In fact... I did it a few times

For me at the time, it was simply an exercise in establishing how well I knew myself, and was willing to accept both sides of the coin. It was easy to do, and I filled the page.

Less easy, was working out my own self-limiting beliefs. The reason I wanted to identify and deal with them, is because I was feeling increasingly frustrated about a variety of things, many of which I felt I had little control over. Now, if something crops up, I try to deal with it at the time... not the situation necessarily... but my emotional response to it, as dealing with me, can sometimes be easier than dealing with the situation, and its my hope that by dealing with me, the answer to how to deal with a situation may become clearer. Perhaps not immediately, but at some point.
It's work in progress.

A self-limiting belief can be anything from... 'I’m not good at maths'... to 'I can’t cook'
I don’t think it’s useful to share what you consider to be a self-limiting belief with just anybody, lest they use it against you... but that... may simply be another type of limiting belief.

I've found that kindred spirits however, tend to be willing and able to share their limiting beliefs freely with each other, without fear of judgment or ridicule. Those souls tend to assist each other in many ways in overcoming and banishing those beliefs that may not be serving them well.

Seems they do so, because they care, and genuinely want the best for that person... yet its not only kindred spirits that can help you with that... in fact... it can be someone you have little or not real connection to whatsoever.
Someone you don't even like
Lessons can emerge from anywhere.

Set in our ways

I think that as we get older, we can become set it our ways.
I think it's because we reach a point when we know what we like, and what we don't
We like our way/s of doing things
We develop a keener sense of self, and feel that if anyone is going to love us, let them love us for who we truly are, and not some warped perception of who we are ( although that can work wonders if that perception is that you're the best thing since sliced bread!..)

Being set in ones ways , is being okay with who you are

Yet it's not as simple as that is it?

It can slow the development and growth of individuals, communities, nations
It all depends on the amount of power these ways have to mess things up.
Basically.. it depends on the ways

On a lighter yet related note

I've never been a fan of raving for the sake of raving.. you know.. drinking.. overly gregarious behaviour and forced vibes.. immediately walk into a space and because music is playing you must dance immediately. There...I'm set in my ways with that.

Just deserts

'That which is deserved' is one definition

Do people always get their just deserts?
Sometimes yes.. sometimes no..

Sometimes we, I, thank god that is not the case
Other times divine intervention is hoped for.
The term is usually used to denote a sense of karmic payback for something bad or unpleasant a person may have done
Perhaps continuous mean spirited thoughts ( although when un-actioned upon are less harmful than when actioned - but beware a continuous thought can eventually manifest)

Un-favourable just deserts...the kind of which is easier to spot in others..

A lesson perhaps, to make changes.. to banish manipulative or spiteful behaviours.. to try not to malfunction too much.. curb certain ways, attempt to be more empathetic ( to try to remember to do or say onto others, as you would like them to do, or say.. onto you)
You cannot change others ( and in some cases how they choose to receive you) but you can cease to let them have a negative effect on you, or at the very least.. practice damage limitation. Others change when they want to - 'we'.. (you and I) change when we must - when we can - when we realise it's in our power and best interest to do so.

Sounds easy, but I know it is not

Question - does change become harder, the older we get?
Perhaps that's another blogpost - set in our ways

High Tide or Low Tide

Was reminded of this track whilst watching the 2012 Bob Marley Movie ( which is quite sad as turns out)

The Wailers
In high seas or in low seas
I'm gonna be your friend,
I'm gonna be your friend.
In high tide or in low tide,
I'll be by your side,
I'll be by your side.

(I heard her praying, praying, praying)
I said, I heard my mother,
She was praying (praying, praying, praying)
And the words that she said (the words that she said),
They still linger in my head (lingers in my head),
She said, "A child is born in this world,
He needs protection,
Got, guide and protect us,
When we're wrong, please correct us.
(when we're wrong, correct us).
And stand by me." yeah!

In high seas or in low seas,
I'm gonna be your friend,
He said, "I'm gonna be your friend."
And, baby, in high tide or low tide,
I'll be by your side,
I'll be by your side.

I siad I heard my mother,
She was crying' (I heard her crying'), yeah! (crying', crying'),
And the tears that she shed (the tears that she shed)
They still linger in my head (lingers in my head)

She said: "A child is born in this world,
He needs protection,
Got, guide and protect us,
When we're wrong, (when we're wrong), correct us.

And in high seas or low seas,
I'm gonna be your friend,
I'm gonna be your friend.
Said, high tide or low tide,
I'll be by your side,
I'll be by your side.

Wednesday 17 July 2013

The genius of Cee Lo Green

A few tracks off an early album
I could listen to him all day or night..

Love this like crazy Cee Lo

I'm a species so rare the human eye's hardly seen
A thin line between divine and killing machine
A dark side of the light that no one should ever see
Oh, I feel for the foolish for fucking with me
There is a war inside me but the water is still
You'll be safer every time assuming it will,
But to lose my composure I don't normally do,
I just thought that you should know
I've been sicker than you

You don't know me
A record can't tell ya
Uh-oh, I'm the Great Pretender

You say you want my pain,
My own personal pain
A lot hurt, heartache, and hard times it's hard to explain
I can feel the anger starting to happen again
I'd bust your head and break your brain for five minutes of fame
A-ha ha
My heart beats with unconditional love
But beware of the blackness that it's capable of
Oh yeah, Oh yeah
You got to travel the road of a troubled soul
I'm trying so hard not to lose control
Oh yeah, Oh yeah

You don't know me
A record can't tell ya
Uh-oh, I'm the Great Pretender

They said in life you shouldn't worry
Just got to let the wind blow
Ha, ha, ha
You see every day I'm struggling
For the strength to let it go
Ha, ha, ha

You don't know me
A record can't tell ya
Uh-oh, I'm the Great Pretender

let's wrap this up with ..Sometimes..

Hot & Sticky

A fan would be perfect this very minute
A cool breeze -right through the night
So hot right now..

Weather warnings were issued today

Dress light
Drink water
Wear hat
stay out of the mid day sun
Walk in the shade
Check on the vulnerable..

Cool baths..
At home?.. ditch the clothes

Here are some more top tips to stay cool - from the Mail Online

What more can you need..Cee Lo

Tuesday 16 July 2013

Mr Mumbles

I'm gonna rename one of my brothers Mr Mumbles.. why? because quite frankly.. I can barely understand a f****** word he says..

Think i'll introduce the new moniker to my mum.. see if she knows who i'm talking about.. my guess is.. she'll know immediately

I want to ask him what he has against words.. perhaps he just can't be arsed anymore.. maybe he loves them way too much to waste them on silly sisters like me.. who knows.. but if that were the case,.. how is it that he rarely shuts up!!
He's so funny sometimes.. what's evern funnier is the way I end up reacting to him

He'll be mumblin'.. and i'd be wonderin'... what the f***

We grew up in the same home, same parents, same primary schools, played on the same London streets, but yet.. he went through a phase of sounding more Jamaican than Oliver Samuels..

Now?.. it's just London mumbles..

Worse yet.. that stuff is contagious..

disclaimer.. I love my brothers to bits.Y'all know that anyway. Kindest fellow you're likely to meet.. on a good day.. and funny as heck.. again.. on a good day

Back in time selection .. ft' the Messenger' Luciano

Summer evenings and Neo- families..

Summer time.. when body truly relaxes in the evenings. I actually had a good rest last night, I had been tense for a long time.
Said to Ti recently that i'd forgotten how to relax!..
Rewind.. and re-learn.
This song takes me back though.. nice..nice..nice
I do like the summer time.. even if I find myself falling asleep earlier than usual..


Do we need to improve our care of our elderly?

The news yesterday revealed that a revised Chinese law now apparently states that children must visit their elderly parents..take responsibility for their well-being.. their physical and spiritual needs, and failing that...face a fine, or time in jail.
I'm not only paraphrasing, but over-simplifying i'm sure.. but it's interesting that there should be a need for this law.
Families who no longer live(aren't able to live) in close proximity to each other, often find that time can go by quite quickly without physically seeing each other. The extended family, can become estranged in the blink of an eye, without even a cross word spoken.

Would a law like that work here? do we need it?.. hopefully not. Thankfully in the UK I think that we do have great agencies that offer services to the elderly, giving them the chance to learn new skills, make friends, join clubs, go on trips, gain advice on their health, and take it easy. Some may say.. 'but hey!!.. that is the role of a family!'.. but as you know,not everyone has a family, and in any case... families are changing.. they are evolving.. it's not just a matter of blood anymore ( if it ever was)..

For some.. their communities have become their family.

Monday 15 July 2013

Driving Miss Daisy

Who, or what, is in the driving seat of your life?.
I recognize that it can be difficult at times for many to be their authentic self.. the difficulty being perhaps.. that as people, we have yet to uncover who, or what that 'authentic self' is..
In truth it can take a fair amount of work and reflection.

Perhaps a barrier to authenticity is the fear of questioning what we have been conditioned to think, or who we've been told we are. Maybe we know, but just don't like what we know of ourselves ( that can be the case also)

It's natural to feel good when we do something that others approve of.. yet if others do not approve of us what then?.. logic says we then feel bad.
If that be the case it can be exhausting.. to seek , or desire the approval of others.. and logic would again imply that it is others.. and not us.. who are in the driving seat.

Yet it's rarely that simple.
The desire to please others is ingrained.. established early.. in our childhood years perhaps. Some may say the desire to please others is inherently selfish.. with the sole pursuit of selfish gratification or potential reward. I think, in the positive sense, it encourages a sense of unification and solidarity, necessary for healthy human relations.

Yet you cannot please everyone.. be okay with that

The gift of acceptance is a great gift to give.. not only to yourself but to others. It's a challenge.. as we are human.
But to 'be in the driving seat of your own life'. I suspect is what most people aspire to.
Get in gear

Black + Life =

George Zimmerman was found not guilty of killing Trayvon Martin

Over the weeks I have cast a glance over blogs and papers following the trial.. and it did't seem to be going as well as one would like for the family

I thought hoped it would have been a straight forward guilty verdict
But I guess I was wrong
I don't quite get Americas gun laws...but this trial wasn't about that..was it?
It was a search for the answer to the above..

It would be easy to isolate this case..( think of it as a purely American issue) but that I fear would be a mistake.

I feel for the parents of Trayvon

None of us know how we would react under pressure.. but when you fear more, and value less, the life of a black man, woman or child.. that is an issue
Yet we see it often

Sunday 14 July 2013

Questions questions..

How did you end up doing what you do?
The job or career you have.. was it planned?
Did you ever anticipate that you would be doing what you're doing now?
Do you enjoy it?.. why?

What did your careers advisor ( If you ever saw one ) suggest?.. and did you follow their advice?
Did your 'career' happen 'accidentally?'did you stumble upon it?.. was it good fortune? or fate?
Do you find that your role suits your temperament or personality close to perfectly?.. or have you adjusted your temperament and personality to suit your role?
Have you exceeded your own expectations?.. or have you yet to meet them?

Questions .. questions..
I ask alot of questions sometimes

Happy working week x

2 versions of me

Two days of scorching heat, and I'm just winding down now before the week ahead.
Its been really nice out in the sun.. personally, I didn't do too much, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
I'm trying not to be too selfish with my time, share a little more of it with others, but it can be difficult, as I enjoy my own company at times... and sometimes it really is necessary.

I guess there are two versions of me.

There's the sociable version, very family oriented, who loves family, and would really like more family time and togetherness... yet there's also the version of me that almost lives life in the abstract.
I enjoy watching, observing, looking at life from a distance.. being objective ( as much as possible) creating stories in my mind, wondering, thinking, solving, seeing the way people move, talk, interact, create their own realities.

Being up close an personal can render objectivity difficult, but not impossible
The view from the bridge.. can be far more interesting .

I guess that version of me can appear distant.. aloof even, yet I'm somehow still present.. more, I suspect, than it may appear.

Interesting guy I met a few months back. Interesting in that I don't think I've met anyone quite like it (I have really but you know what I mean).. for example.. If I had an issue with the colour blue.. this man is blue (blue man group blue).. and I guarantee that if he had an issue with the colour red.... I am red.. (Scarlett O'hara red) yet still, here we are..strange.
There has got to be a lesson somewhere.
Watching him from the 'bridge' is funny, he cannot work me out.. yes..I can confidently say that I have a feeling he finds me odd.

I know I cannot run forever.. but there's mileage in these legs yet.. and I intend to use every ounce.

Saturday 13 July 2013

View from a bench

Very peaceful

Water is so refreshing.. a cool place to relax on a day like today

Or maybe a trip.. far .. far .. away

Hope you all had a nice day..

Friday 12 July 2013

Virtual Choir

Never heard of this project before

5,905 singers from 101 countries.. webcam video submissions..

Great way of bringing people together.. even if most will never actually meet.. they share something very special that they have created..

Nice use of the internet..
Just don't ask me the royalties question..
Maybe it's all a voluntary agreement

Chill out zone with the Isley brothers

Ron Ron Ron..

Thursday 11 July 2013

Sweep Clean

Bit of a summer clean/clear out is on the cards..
The prospect of getting a few home chores done without having to rush too much feels good. Once that's all in order I will feel more organised again.. it's that whole restoration of balance thing us 'Librans' like to feel

Having to schedule my time more and more is quite funny really, as I enjoy the feeling of freedom and spontaneity.. I've worked out that being spontaneous don't half take some planning!

It's worth it though ...

*New broom sweep clean.. but ole broom know every corner*


A famous chef on the TV said to a woman 'on the breadline' that she can make a cabbage last 2 days. 2 days??..
Sheeet...I've made a cabbage that size last a week!...
It depends what you cook it with, and how you cook it, but yes.. a cabbage can stretch pretty far if needs be..

Imagination and food. Can be useful.. but there are times when you’re too darn tired for imagination, and it's at that point.. that crucial point... when you end up paying...more

So.. no time?.. to tired for imagination? about an Instant meal?

Personally speaking, I don't eat ready meals, as when I saw a dish come out of a microwave it didn't actually look like recognizable ( and tasty) food.. no... I’ve never quite felt the pull of a ready meal... not criticizing those who do, it just seems a little odd

However, ready meals are big business and many people do buy them... and those who do, may do so because they're quick...
Time is everything nowadays... people have busy lives... so busy that they don’t have as much time for things (like cooking) as they used to
Eating out is popular... and yes from time to time it can be fun, but a staple? I don’t think so
Having said that I’ve lost count of the number of little cafe's springing up all over town. and people are eating there... even on Sundays (Is the tradition of Sunday meals too old fashioned now?)
Maybe more and more adults are putting off marriage and families... so... they eat out? who knows...
Things have certainly changed

Anyway, what I wondered as I watched this show was when did people’s misery become entertainment?... then I realized, misery has been entertainment for 'eons'.. Jerry Springer... Kyle... prison shows... fat shows... skinny shows... you name it

Sometimes we learn from what we see... other times... you may prefer to avert your gaze... cover your ears... or better yet... say a prayer, and turn it off

During the war (yes I enjoy a bit of ole Del boy now and then) I digress...
During the war...people were given advice on how to eat well... apparently, when rationing was a necessity, the English diet was very well balanced.. war melancholic bullshit? Perhaps...

However... in a time when we're surrounded by so much abundance... extravagance.. Opulence...and over indulgence... simple things, for regular people... have seemingly become absolutely dire... not knowing what to do for the best... or what foods to eat...
What is the truth?..
I think some 'truths' are that, the cost of living is high... most people are trying their best... and the poor are being exploited... often blamed... but still provide a 'meal ticket' for the occasional entertainment of the better off's.

So.. What you having for dinner today?...
and ahem.. where's my invite??

Wednesday 10 July 2013

Establishing boundaries

Funny evening out
Had a conversation where blue was green, green was yellow and wet was dry..
Don't know if it was a case of being hungry, being tierd or both..
just couldn't see eye to eye..( which isn't unknwown)
Over something and nothing...
What's odd is - despite that.. the evening was okay.. strange huh!?!
A good nights sleep will do the trick.

Writers write 'gurl'.. so get on with it!

Now... I feel like being creative.
Getting harder to contain
Must schedule more time to write creatively
I have a goal/s but what I'm increasingly discovering about myself, is that I work well better, with deadlines.
They tend to help my focus..( wandering mind an all) and I know that when I don't set them it's because possibly i'm being a little lazy.. or I'm enjoying the dance of.. dare I?..

Tuesday 9 July 2013

Can love exist without attachment?

Love and attachment can be very different
There exists a similarity of the outward expressions in both scenarios
But deep inside is where they tend to differ
Attachment can lead to obsession, which is far from love, and can be unhealthy.
remembering it's a thin line..

That's what I currently think..
But thinking isn't knowing (that I know)

Attachments however, are an inevitable part of life.. and there's 'nowt' wrong with that. Attachment 'forces' us to care for others.. stops us from being too self centered, and basically connects us to the point where we feel the unhappiness of 'others'.. or whosoever, we feel most connected to.. we feel their if it were our own

Doesn't sound great I know.. but it happens. If you're a parent for example.. think of your children.. how you feel if they feel down, sad, or unhappy in anyway.. then compare that to when they are happy and bouyant..and how wonderful that feels
Attachment, in the more positive simply feeling. or being...connected
...and that's okay.

So.. if attachment in it's positive sense is simply being connected...then the answer to that question is?.....

Space to think

It's better when it's calm
I can think clearly
I can allow myself to be indecisive
No pressure.. to know the unknowable
Often.. time is all you need
There are times when I feel that rushing takes away from each moment - each moment you never get back
Every moment is unique
Even if you think you've been there before.. something... something.. is slightly different.

Having said that, I can be extremely decisive. There are times when if it's to be done, i'd rather get it done.. as procrastination can be the delay of the inevitable.

The difference between being decisive, and rushing may seem minuscule.. but there is a difference

I thought about this today as I pondered on perfectionism, and how it can be a blessing and a curse.
The desire for perfection can stop you in your tracks.. for fear of making a mistake.. or not meeting your uber high expectations..
Yet it can also inspire you to try your best.. to do your best.. expect the best.. give something your best shot

I've seen both sides.. and the latter, appears favourable

Force-feed or die

I read this article on the force-feeding at Guantanamo Bay of detainees on hunger strike.
Mos Def the rapper and actor agreed to undergo the procedure to showcase what these detainees actually go through. It looks awful, and extremely painful
My question is.. what's the alternative?
Should they be allowed to starve?.. or should it be a case, of recognising that they are pleading to be heard, and agreeing to a compromise, with a view to establishing fair and just treatment.. where no one feels the need to refrain from eating.. and no one feels the need to force feed

You can read, and watch it.. here.

Monday 8 July 2013

Taking it slow

It's good to take it slow.
Quite simply..
You never know
Why rush
Life goes on until it stops
Getting to know each other takes time
Let the mask slip awhile
Before you make up your mind
Enjoy the process
The ups and downs
Watch and learn
Listen and discern
When the heart is ready
the love will appear
It's always there
Concealed.. perhaps
But like the sun.. it rises time and time again
and it's mission..
is to shine

Rick Stein in India

I've been watching Rick Stein's India on Monday nights. Caught it by accident last week and find it really interesting. I have a thing about Indian food, in that I love it. It looks and tastes great to me, and I feel a sense of familiarity with (some of) the spices.

Tonight featured a dish with Paneer cheese that looked delicious. (must find that cheese and try it)

He spoke about the Sikh belief system a little tonight.. five vices? Lust , Anger, Greed, Attachment , and Ego.
Our purpose in life... being to become one with god, as a drop of water becomes one with the ocean - sweet
I like that.. I agree.
Yes.. our souls purpose is to be reconnect with that which we call god. Atheists may not agree.. but that's okay.

India is an interesting place, yet what I love about the show is that food, is so important in building and strengthening community, family.. keeping alive traditions, and history.
I spoke about food earlier today actually. The concept of 'soul food'.. and the way that cooking and food is central in many cultures to bonding, overcoming differences.. and is often used as an expression of love.
Food and music.. never underestimate the power of either.
We get together over food

The other thing Ti and I noticed this evening was the size of the pots.. they are quite often, absolutely HUGE.
GREAT BIG POTS, it's hard not to feel a sense of excitement with a pots that size..

The mutton curry in tonight's show is actually what we refer to as curry goat..
We borrow from each other

Take a look..

Sunday 7 July 2013

Crooked smile - J Cole

Andy Murray - British Wimbledon Champ 2013

He did it!
That was like watching great theatre

Ti said .. now he can get over 77 years of hurt..
shut up you twat you're 19!

Fair to say we all enjoyed the tennis today

He looked exhausted at the end - but how amazing must he feel..

Saturday 6 July 2013

Keep the roof off!

Well done to Andy (voice surprising high for one so hench!) Murray, for getting through to the Wimbledon final
I hope he wins..

Who's spying on whom?

Who are they?
Well.. if we knew that, then they wouldn't be doing a very good job.. would they?.
Agents tend not to come right out and say.. 'Hey!!.. i'm an agent!!'. 'I'm undercover'.. or worst yet.. 'Hey..I wouldn't trust me with a barge pole!!'.

I think if we knew, who 'they' were, we'd be surprised. Surprised to see that they're not walking around in dark shades, trench coat, with some old dodgy briefcase in tow.

No.. I suspect they would more than likely look and speak.. just like you or me.. like your mate down the road, your lover, a person you feel you can trust, or may feel.. has your back.

So... that being said, the BBC commissioned a poll with regards to trust in policing, after claims made by a whistle-blower, that the Lawrence family and associates, were being spied on, with the intention of finding out as much or as little dirt as possible. To what ends?..
I guess.. to subvert the case and turn victims into villains.

The BBC poll however, states that 38% of BME's polled think that the Met is still institutionally racist. It is possible to focus on that.. but what about the remaining 62% who do not?.. or failed to respond?

38% is quite low.. considering that I doubt many BME's would have been that surprised by the whistle-blowers claims anyway.
Maybe.. it's a case of 38% trust the Met even less than they did before.. who knows?.. polls can be manipulated depending on the story you want to tell. The poll does state that 85% claimed to trust the Met overall. ( which tells a more positive story)

If a poll was conducted that asked the question.. do you trust your friends.. your lover.. or people in general?.. many people may actually say .. errr.. no.. they don't. not fully anyway..just don't tell 'em I said so.. ( so it's not just a policing issue)
The issue... is ( drum-roll please) trust in general.

What is this thing we call trust?.. and is it more important than that which we call love?
We live in a society where trust is rare.. hard to form, and easily broken.
Whether it's trust in the Met (police), trust in mates, or folk in general.. it can be rocky ground..

Right now the American political and ruling classes are fuming, that a guy they once trusted has apparently breached the golden rule.. 'keep your mouth shut'.

Out came the revelation that 'regular' folk are being spied on at a rate which suggests and almost bizzare obsession with OPB. ( other people's business)
Some would argue it's necessary.. it's about 'national security'..
Ultimately.. it really is, a lack of trust.. on a global scale.

Well my dears..what a thing.. when all out there is a suspect. But trust me when I say..
I am not an Agent.

Reggae legends - Lee 'Scratch' Perry - ft Joe Higgs

Footage taken in 1977/78

Heat feast

The only thing stopping me from turning on the central heating right now other than ( Mr can't take the heat Ti).. is the weather forecast of a gloriously hot day ahead

Wrapped up in my dressing gown as I currently am, it's chilly.. I was in the garden awhile earlier this morning though, and it seemed okay at that time, so either this is a minor dip.. or my body temperature is playing games..
Still.. I aim to enjoy the heat feast we have in store.. I love it love it love it

For years i couldn't abide thus song ( even though it was a big hit) .. all these years later you know what.. it's actually quite sweet.. nice and easy

Reggae girls.. ragga girls... it's girls time

Back in time - more from Lady Saw

L.S does make me laugh at times

Remix ft Chronix

Thursday 4 July 2013

First name Charlie..Last name Wilson

Charlie Wilson was amazing on the BET awards
Now I can chill awhile... and who better to have on play

Getting there

As of this evening I've completed my 1st year, and I'm keen and excited to move to the 2nd and final year of my MA.
We've covered a great deal, and the full timers even more so, with only their dissertations remaining. Tired as I am tonight, it was nice to chat in the bar later, and gain a few new perspectives.
In attempting to pull together my own research question, I ran my ideas past my lecturer. Later on, having felt I tangled myself up I said.." hmmm... i'm confused!"
To which he simply replied..
" No you're not"

Monday 1 July 2013

5 min debate on immigration

Who would play 'you' in a movie

If someone could play you in a movie (your life story).. who would you choose?
Me?..Gabriel Union
She doesn't look like me at all, way prettier.. but she's so bloody k-yute.. with her dimples an all.

I think she's funny, one of my favourite actresses.. straight girl crush if you like
And no.. I've not had a drink!

Ask me tomorrow and I may have switched to another..

Don't 'spoil' the children

It's easy to 'spoil' your children (spoil is the wrong word, but you know what I mean, and I cant think of another)
Perhaps the word is.. mollycoddle.
When they're young, cute, well behaved, fun, funny, and adorable...
It's easy to do too much
Years ago, I think perhaps, that parents gave their children more responsibility than they do now.
That's a generalization I know, but there seems to be a trend. Back in the day, children had chores. Chores they had to complete before they could indulge in activities of their pleasing. Failure to do those chores would result in a punishment.. maybe bed early, no TV...that kind of thing.
Then along came video games, adult peer pressure aka societal pressure, a little 'extra' in reality not extra cash... and 'treats' became an everyday part of life.. chore completion or not.

My own mother had chores. Growing up in Montserrat she would sweep the yard , wash and hang out the clothes, feed the animals, tie up goats, and assist her dad in bread making.. before school. When I asked her about this she said she enjoyed it.. loved having the responsibility, learning how to do things.. and making her parents proud.

Me?.. If i'm honest I wasn't given chores. I was the youngest , and my sister really 'enjoyed' washing up, cleaning , cooking, and helping mum. Yes.. very sweet she is too. Yes.. the good one.

Me?..I played.
However.. I did help out, not because I had to, but because it was fun, and I wanted to. I remember once.. redecorating my parents bedroom with my sister. We wanted to surprise my parents on their return from holiday. My final flourishes was to put up pictures of Steve Biko, Malcom X.. and a very well known painting by Ras Daniel Heartman.

Voila..(My brother had an array of quite nice pictures I thought)

They were really quite overjoyed.. I remember it well.. then my mum asked me why I've put up pictures of dead people on her wall and to take them, down immediately..
Then later on, she couldn't find her shoes.. and accused us both (to this day) of throwing them out!
The novelty had clearly worn off.

So what, how, and when do we teach our children?
I had a conversation a few months back with a friend, and it was mentioned that single parents have a tendency to overcompensate. Subconsciously doing too much.. giving in too much.. to make up for the fact that they are uno.. and not duo. Perhaps, it's internalized guilt.. perhaps it's the determination that your child/children will not miss out , lose out, or feel in any way deficient by not having a additional parent to hand. Who knows..
It's an interesting theory.

Anyway... why did I write this particular post?
I came home from work, after a long day... and had to cook dinner!
Teach your children to cook.
To be fair, my daughter can.. why did I show her and not the boys?
It's never to late.. I will be doing just that.. and getting assistance.. to ensure this is rectified.
After all.. they like to eat.

btw .. it was delish and done in a jiff.. rice.. green bananas.. okra dish.. seconds for me