Monday 31 December 2012

Quiet days

Well the tinsel has been put away, windows cleaned, and now is as good a time as any for peace.. and quiet.
For as long as I can remember I've enjoyed the stillness of new years eve, it'll be gone before you know it. If there were things you wanted to achieve in 2012 and didn't, don't fret, If you're reading this then there's still time. if not, carry it over.
If your're out and about, stay safe, enjoy.. and all being well.. see you in 2013 x

Sunday 30 December 2012

Sex and Love Act 2

An astrologers guide..

Sex and Love - Act 1

Two very very different things.
Sex can be had without love, and love can be had without sex.
Some would argue both equally satisfying but.. really?
I would argue not.

Sex without love, for the sake of it, can never be as satisfying as sex with love, nor can it ever be a satisfying substitute.
It's momentary, love endures.

As deep in the heart of man, love is the desired outcome, and can never be cheated or fooled.

Back to cookery school

I have never made bread..

Caribbean bun..

or onions bhajis.

Would be nice to learn in 2013

James Allen audio books x2

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Thursday 27 December 2012

Monday 24 December 2012

Easy.. take it easy

The child in me and perhaps many others will be awakened over the next couple of days, so to kick things off... I enjoyed Mr Stink, I was really surprised to hear David Walliams wrote it.. I could have sworn I'd read that book as a child. how strange. Must be the style of writing.. the resurrection of a dormant memory.. "Mr Stink stank, he also stunk". ... great stuff

I look forward to seeing Shrek, assuming it will be on of course,

If not... here's that beautiful song from the movie

After which I shall have to refrain for a few days.

Of course all being well, the Eastenders Christmas special is a must.. other than that.. I'm easy.

here's the Alexandria Burke version

Easy take it easy?.. why.. D Brown of course

Sunday 23 December 2012

When disaster strikes - Busta Rhymes

"quit trying to work so fucking hard towards nothing" - Busta

Back in time with Busta


Fallout 3. Music of the 30's & 40's

Serenaded by the radio station on Fallout 3 this morning, I must say that this song always has me singing along. Who are these guys I thought?, so I googled the song title.. and here they are..

The Ink Spots... well I never

Wiki..a little history please..thanks

Who else?.. but Derek.

My TV crush. much to the horror of many.
What can I say but oh how I've enjoyed watching Mr B. aka dirty Derek.

Can we keep him Simon Ash.. please??

The square simply wont be the same

Eastenders.. what's a girl to do.

Saturday 22 December 2012

Sunday 9 December 2012

Almost years end

It’s approaching the end of the year so I thought I’d touch base now, and just in case I don’t get the chance to post anything, I’d like to wish all my passing readers a happy holiday and the very best for the up-coming new year.

There have been lots of ups and downs this year, as with most years, and in hindsight it has all gone by pretty quickly. I'm looking forward to the coming new year , as I tend to feel a sense of fresh hope, new ideas, plus there’s the knowledge that spring’s not too far away and with it, new beginnings.
If I were to say one nice thing about myself today it would be that I'm proud of the way I've raised my children. I've raised them alone and as mums we can often go into overdrive, doing.. working.. talking.. without truly noticing the impact. Over the past few weeks my lot have been solid. They have shown me they are wise beyond their years, very culturally, socially, and self aware, conscious, and nice to be around. I'm learning from them, and when I've had weak days, they have been strong. They make mistakes, we all do, but this moment, I like and appreciate them.
They grew a lot this year.
I will add to that and say funnily enough, now they're grown, they physically spend much less time with me now.. Ti's off looking at universities, Nais set up her business, and I rarely have a conversation with Ij, without him mentioning his son.. so despite not really having a model (so to speak) he's worked out how to be a father even after a separation.. and enjoys being one.
So that leaves more time, and space in my life for me to be.. Dawna

I hope I've grown too. I feel I may have taken a backward step in some areas, but maybe they were just to remind me of what’s right for me, or not.

Anyway, I'll probably be off radar for a while.

I was wondering what track to accompany my pre end of year message....something that particularly resonated with me this year.
I realised I didn't want words at all, as sometimes, and increasingly more often than not, words can say absolutely nothing at all, but a sound... a sound can touch the soul. So... it’s back to Jackie. It was my featured tune this year, so salute to Jackie.. R.I.P keyboard don, and salute to you all.
Peace love and happiness

Dawna Lee

Oh.. and carry on up the jungle is hilarious Sunday viewing.. lots of.. ohaaaas.. ridiculous
Sid James to girl.. "Oysters..?? they're rubbish.. I had nine of em last night.. and only five of em worked!!"

Wednesday 21 November 2012

Top chat..and way too cold to sleep outside..

Funniest TV quote on I'm a celebrity..."There's no way, in a million years, that I could have slept with two snakes!"
The kagagoogoo guy said it... do we believe him?

I got in, turned on the TV and that was the first thing I heard..
Funny :)
Had a nice evening in class.. explored some post-colonial theorists a little more, and issues surrounding concepts of culture and identity. Doesn't take much to make me smile, and the discussions tonight were quite energising.. good stuff. It's really cold outside so glad to be in.
I passed a homeless guy who said he was ex services. I honestly felt that there should be guaranteed homes for any ex military personnel... could they not take it from the military budget? ( It struck me as odd, I know some may ask why should they receive special treatment.. but .. I don't know.. just seemed wrong somehow)
Homelessness is no joke.. worst in the winter.

Empowering people..

This is a phrase that’s often used, yet quite loosely defined.
Can you empower another? hmmm.. yes, at least you can certainly facilitate it.
It’s said that 'when the student is ready the teacher will appear', so does the process always begin within?... again.. not necessarily, as 'when the teacher is ready... the student will appear' also.
In order to empower another does that person need to realise or feel dis-empowered.. and what if they don’t?. What if the person feels empowered in an dis-empowered state?.

I think over the coming years if the economic system continues to destabilise, or if the overall mood changes and people feel oppressed, growing frustration may cause many to begin asking questions, demanding more and accepting less.
And by more I'm talking in terms of the quality of life.. freedom.. respect etc, and not materiality.
Watching the news this morning there was another ‘what makes you happy’ section, and many of the people expressed very simple things. Good job, family, good friends, etc.

So ( as we know) it doesn't really take much. Yet what may happen increasingly is, if those simple things become infringed upon.. when the ‘turn a blind eye not in my back yard syndrome’ becomes ‘can’t turn away , and it is in my backyard... empowerment will be a must.
The London disturbances last year were interesting in that they split the country in terms of those who were quite intolerant of it.. and those who felt they had an understanding of it.
What came out of it, in fact.. seems to be, very little. The IPCC seem unable to ever really make a case that holds water ( in cases where there is cause for concern/ an abuse of power or even a possible racist element) The IPCC seem to effectively placate, yet after the dust settles, what then...? ( who knows.. maybe they are a strong force and just need better P.R) the government ( days and weeks afterwards) were able to change the rules of the game, intervene in the law courts sentencing structure, and crack down hard. A sentence for a bottle of water, is pretty hard.
Anyway, I digress
My point is ...
Are people empowered when they go against the status quo, or are they empowered when they go along with.. and are rewarded for it.
When we talk about empowering people what exactly are we saying?.. Is it important?... if so why? And is it in our hands.. or theirs?

Captains log : Stardate 21st November 2012

Not sure where to begin with this post.
Those of who who have read my blog long enough will know that a captains log is usually a little more personalised or thoughtful in nature.. so feel free to skip.. some mushy girly stuff.

As I awoke today and began to get ready many thoughts began to flow though and around my mind. Some pleasant, some not so pleasant. Mostly there were questions... the likes of which rarely provide an answer. I wondered about the meaning of things. How the easy can easily become the difficult. I realise that you can’t pour new wine into old bottles so to speak. That with so many souls on the planet operating at different vibrations it can seem isolating when not being able to find those similar souls. Yet again sometimes we do.. but its rare.

One of the reasons I enjoy writing this blog is because it‘s a little like keeping a diary, watching my own life timeline unfold, sharing my thoughts and feelings without having to worry about anything. There are things I don’t talk about though. Often not for any particular reason.. but sometimes because I have no idea who’s reading this stuff.. well some I know.. but by far not all. I tend not to talk about Israel or Gaza (it's coming though).. I also tend not to talk about sex much... I'm not saying I would never, sure as the sun may shine I may...but some things are a little more sacred to me I guess.. ( ( extra I know.. I mean private) . and I sway not to the gratuitous, and depends on the vibe.
Still.. Ultimately this blog is freedom to be.. Freedom to say.. Freedom to think
My own feelings today are a mixture of... can’t articulate fully but possibly sadness, frustration, and isolation. You know those days where you could do with a hug, wallow a bit, feel loved up a bit. ( I definitely have some female Libran qualities) .
There are times I love silence...other times I like company.. like to talk, and equally to listen, yet conversations tend to scratch the surface at times, other times... it’s just not possible.

I wondered about love and manipulation. Wondered if there are unspoken contracts/agreements that say, if you do x, y or z, then I will love you, if not... I will not. Wondered why the unquantifiable is often quantified, and the unquestionable questioned.
I realise that maybe it’s because many people just don’t know... and each will create love in their image, and can only ‘know’ , to the depths in which they exist in the moment, are willing to feel, and truly allow themselves to be vulnerable with another, and honest with themselves. Our busy lives rarely accommodate such depth of thought or being, unless we make the effort, yet also it takes courage, as often judgement is the reward.

Yes sometimes I do feel like sod it, can’t be asked. Those who have eyes to see will see.
I also thought about the purpose of thought itself.
Sometimes it's nice to chill, relax, do nothing.
I'm happy being a girl

Tuesday 20 November 2012

Chances are you'll hear this the car.. or a store near you

Not even December and I heard my first 2012 Christmas song today in the cafe.. brace yourself..

We are fast approaching that time of year. Always bittersweet.
2013 approaches.. some will begin to set life goals, reflect on the past year, give thanks for what they have..some will begin to awaken to new levels of consciousness, some may not.. children may begin to ask for what toys they would like.. parent/s or family members start to look shifty as everyone prefers to stay at home and chill really.. minimal fuss.. ( but noone wants to offend) still.. one day at at time.

I may dig this one out again when the season really kicks in. Or I may not.
It's a beautiful song to be fair.

Dr. Afrika on diabetes

Despite the serious nature of this interview.. the look on the face of the host at times is quite humorous

Sunday 18 November 2012

On extreme consciousness.. and wearing knickers

It can be said that we are at our most revealing when we feel we have nothing to lose... or everything to lose.
Our lives become a careful dance of avoidance... avoiding either of those two extremes or both.
As a result, we operate somewhere in the middle. We hold middle ground, never being tested, or experiencing the testing. Polar opposites, the nature of duality, always dependant on ones perception of all... and of nothing.


A friend of mine spent her evening in the gym. Having enjoyed the luxury of the spa she got ready for bed.. it was late. She put on her bed shirt, got fully oiled up, and began to venture home.. wearing .. no knickers.
Not wearing knickers to bed??.. now that’s asking for trouble.. I thought at the time..has she not heard of the law of attraction.. what if a burglar came over?... hmmm.. I guess she has.. her point entirely.
Anyway... she got stuck in the lift.
She had to be rescued by the firemen who told her she had to climb out.
With horror she had to confess to her knicker-less situation.
They promised not to look
“Did they ask you to climb up the shaft??” I asked her...
She didn’t get it.
Now there are many reasons for wearing knickers.. One being... you may get stuck in a lift..
No knickers when out with a boyfriend can work ( If you want to surprise him over dinner.. or under) but on a regular day... Best to wear pants methinks.
Besides.. knickers are too pretty nowadays.. not to want to wear them... they're not permanently attached, and can come off when required.

Alton Ellis & Bob Andy Selection

The Alchemist

I have committed myself to completing a new album. My producer has been calling and texting for weeks, and yesterday... finally... I responded.
I have no preconceived ideas with regards to how it should turn out. I know I have a few covers, namely a Bob Andy cover that I’d began to tackle, but other than that... my aim is to just sit and write it all on the guitar, then go in. Some tracks may remain acoustic, many I suspect will not.

It’s funny really when we look at life. I first worked with this guy when I was 15, over at the studio in Harlesden. He’s one of the most talented musicians I know, very funny, and easy to work with. Over the years his band has band pretty much backed every reggae artist to enter into the U.K from Jamaica, and are pretty much the UK's leading band so I feel like I'm in safe hands.
One thing, he has never forgotten me.

My thoughts today veered towards the Alchemist. I remember vaguely (as I read it many years ago) that the protagonist ventured forth in search of something... only to find, that he had it all along.
In many ways I feel like that. I've come to the realisation that what I've been looking for, I've always had. Me...simply me.
I’m growing up.
Someone said it would happen, and sure enough, it is. Drat.

I realise that when you commit to a new way of being (or old way of being depending on how you want to look at it) it changes everything. It changes the way you relate.. to things, and to people. It’s also difficult to go back once you know, or become aware... it’s not impossible, nothing is (and all is a choice) but.. it’s difficult... and ultimately, it will change the way that others relate to you.

An example can be how you respond to insults, or subjective statements made not in your favour. You may find that they will cease to have the impact they may once have had, simply because you recognise truth. You recognise that often they are made with the sole intention of causing harm or hurt ( your memory tells you this) yet they hold very little power, as untruths rarely do. This doesn't mean you do not experience hurt, or even anger, but it may begin to flow through you, not become you. Something... will no longer allow you to go there.
In the arena of relationships, those that are built on mistrust, control, domination or subjugation which are often the norm in our society, carry little, or no appeal.
As some of us know, a relationship that is built on mutual trust, understanding, respect and a commitment to spiritual and personal growth of both, each becoming the best they can be, coaxing out the best in each other, challenging old thought processes, overcoming differences, (or demons within if you like ) as two become as one, is not only an achievable aim, but one of the finest experiences known to mankind.

I truly believe that’s the point.

At times the simplicity of my statements may come across naive, or idealistic. I am aware of that. However, that does not make my sentiments untrue.

From time to time I have considered becoming more involved in politics. Why? because I have a lot to say, and often, politics can be a vehicle to connect thoughts and words, to a larger number of people... however, so can a creative venture, and in truth, I am a creative.
So politics is out.

The point of that statement was to lead me to something I was told last week by a person who doesn't even know me that well (or so I thought). On my becoming more political she said, “you could never. You have too much heart”.
I quizzed her for a second then left it at that. I wondered if she was right, and if so, is it detrimental?
Possibly in the midst of the heartless too much can seem like an anomaly yes, but is it not a desirable state for us a people?

I'm currently reading Cesaire’s discourse on colonialism. Frantz Fanon was a student of Cesaire so you have perhaps an indication of his school of thought. The book itself is beautifully written, fluid and poetic, guiding you easily from one page to the next. The subject matter, however damning is approached with heart. Not for him the bourgeois prose of the fearful, or the careful, Cesaire is blunt, but his words are filled with love. In reading his work and thinking about how we relate to each other I've come to the realisation that somewhere in our histories, the heart was replaced by the intellect. ( which in itself without heart, is arguably not intellect all, but perhaps something quite different). This ‘switch’ can perhaps be traced right back to colonialism, which by all intents and purposes was the total and actual, annihilation of the heart, or any fanciful indulgences within the realm of love, spirituality, or humanity.

So if you are accused of having too much heart...take heart. You are not doing too badly. To succeed in holding onto that which is most precious, when all about you give way, it’s not only heart you have, but you have retained a connection to a creative force that is more commonly known as god.
It is you.
You, are the Alchemist.

Thursday 15 November 2012

Cocoa Tea selection

and finally.. First Date. My all time favourite Cocoa Tea track. Brings back wonderful memories of a truly beautiful time. Hope you like it too.

The souls of man.

When you look deep into the soul of man
You can never un see what was seen
never undo what was done
for in the soul of man lies all

When under threat of losing what matters to them they lash out
Where there is no honour among thieves
The jury has deliberated and love is found wanting
As each point the finger of blame elsewhere
Yet true evidence is there
should it ever be required
should the house of cards ever begin to topple
and the real reason becomes clear

For in our hearts our true intent lies
When deceivers become the deceived
Only under scrutiny shall we know ourselves and each other
Often it doesn't take much
Question is
Do we like what is there

Are we prepared to face our frailties and insecurities
jealousies and spitefulness.
Our do we bury them under smiles and playfulness
Only for them to resurface again.. and again.

Do we bury them with a well honed act
When in reality, they eat away at the soul.
Or do we embrace true oneness
Do we raise our minds and souls, our spirit from out of the dustbin of life
The gutter...
where service to self dominates service to others
and selfishness reigns, as oneness becomes I, me, myself and mine.
By any means necessary

Hear me when I say I was neither the reason nor the cause
Did not request it or require it
Just being a friendly ear at the time when it was asked for
Had my reservations and voiced them
I was clear, if no one else.

Let love save the souls of man
As nothing else seems to be working
and nothing else ever will

Wednesday 14 November 2012

Graduation day memories..

Got there in the end..

Did Vel join the illuminanti..? nah.. its just me fooling around..

We were treated to some wonderful moving and inspiring speeches, listened to some amazing Phd studies (cool robe) and enjoyed the achievements of all. Caught up with a few of my fellow students and lecturers who I was so pleased to see. I'd missed them.
All in all.. it was a great day. I'm quite tired now so, will either drag myself to class.. or settle in and catch up on some reading this evening instead.
Not sure which.

Grateful to be growing wiser each day. Real cool.
To Dad.
Better late than never. Still, where there's's never too late to go for what you want.

Monday 12 November 2012

Sunday 11 November 2012

How many shoes

I had a conversation today with a friend about the power/ law of attraction
Basically during our discussion she mentioned her concerns with this 'new age'.. yet in reality 'age old' movement.
The main cause of her concern being that the premise is often... 'Use your higher self to get the material things you want'.
Eloquently put as "30 pieces of silver being the reward you receive for compromising or selling out your higher self".

In truth, the law of attraction is often used to gain material things.
It's often used to cater purely to the ego.
Yet what we want often changes. We get what we want then want more. more shoes, a bigger house, more money etc etc.

The law of attraction proves the power that exists within us all.
Can you imagine what it would be like if that power was used to serve a higher purpose?. To serve the good of mankind, and not just our 'individual' selves.

I just began to create a vision board but I'm actually going to review it.
I'm going to review many things to ensure that my thoughts, words and actions are aligned with that which I know to be true, and continue to do so on a regular basis.

My friend spoke of the many compromises she had made over the years, and that she is not prepared to make them any more... that she valued her soul at far greater than 30 pieces of silver, so to speak.
Yet we know of themselves, things have no meaning. We give a meaning to things.. a meaning we create, then we create identities that correspond to those meanings, giving meaning to the meaningless...
It's often said that we are are what we think... but are we?. The mind will trick us every time if we allow it to.

The pursuit of materialism is thwart with challenges. Often (in those cases) we gain the admiration of others just like us, and we feed off each others energy and mutual adoration as we attract others just like us.. adoration which rises and falls depending on the fascination of the time.
Yet, it can be an empty existence, filled with empty conversation.. empty, yet intoxicating.
Until however, the pull towards greater satisfaction and being, becomes so great it can no longer be ignored.
That's when we become wiling perhaps, and strong enough, to bury those 30 pieces of silver in a yard far far away.

My tune of the day.. Kendrick Lamar & Dr. Dre

The suns out and the air is sharp and easy.
Took a stroll.. this song playing in my head..
Park looks beautiful
The hypnotic melody..

When we see the god within

We are incapable of inflicting harm with intent.
Laws that we create, we do so to substitute mans inability to use their own capabilities to govern themselves in accordance with universal spiritual law.
I wonder what what would happen if all laws were removed.
Would we then see the god in others?.
Is our very survival dependent on it?.
But that's how laws came about in the first place right?
As we couldn't, wouldn't, didn't..
But that doesn't mean it's a lost cause.. and that it can't be now
But lost souls can't guide lost souls and get found you say..
That's true.. the blind surely been leading the blind for too long now
But comes a time when what's lost can be found..
Just gotta look hard enough.. and never stop
and sometimes you gotta accept what's lost

Maybe when we get tired of fighting.. maybe when we get tired of hating
Maybe when we get tired of asking..then maybe then, well see

Happy Sunday x

Lauryn Hill

Saturday 10 November 2012

Ti rade.. the world of Ti

I've got to hand it to Ti sometimes.

According to him, college is harder than prison.
Apparently, you can look bad in prison and no one will care. But the moment you step out.. better look sharp.
This from the boy thats never been to prison.
oh okay son, I forgot the fashion element.
I suppressed the urge to connect my elbow to his jawline ( I kid) and asked him if he was serious as he munched on the olives.
Hmmm..Got college work huh.. I wondered.
He then went on to tell me he saw a rastaman in army combat camouflage trousers, which were tucked into his socks...that when he looked up( he smiled at this) the same man had on a crisp white shirt and tie.

Why in gods name are you telling me this I wondered.
Turns out Ti just really wants to go clothes shopping.
off you go son.. and take your tall stories with you.

Or.. be like the dude down Dalston.. start trendsetting

He's annoyingly funny at times.
When he turned on the TV the advert of starving children came on.. he said "what would you do if you saw me on there?".... I said "I'd laugh".. then promptly did just that.
Arse :).

Heptones, Meditations and the Mighty Diamonds.. Saturday selection

Where Angels fear to tread

Where angels fear to tread go I
In the midst of darkness, light leads the way
Though the path may be rocky, I move with grace
As angels fear not all

With an abundant satchel and full heart
The earth responds in kind
In joy and understanding we reap
The love we sow each day

As the moon collides with the sun and darkness befals the earth
As stars lose their lustre in the nights sky
When only rain can quench the thirst of those who seek moisture
The journeys mission becomes clear.

That I walk this road of infinity
And forever seems a long way off
My destination becomes closer with every step
As angels fear not I

Court Jesters and Kings

Took Chrome's advice and had a good nights sleep.

Gonna continue to have a restful weekend, write a shopping list and give to the boys.
Had a nice chat with a friend last night. Very insightful she was, as I made her laugh about a thing or two.. actually made myself laugh a bit.
Things which on the surface are not funny, yet in the pauses something removes the upset, and replaces it with a smile.
She reminded me that when people come into your life you can never be totally sure what role they may play, and as we approach the end of another year we should reflect on the lessons that life give us, and find comfort, and wisdom, in what we learn

She told me some things that really made me think.. made me wonder how some people can say and do the things they say and do, with so little awareness, care or love.

A guy once told her he couldn't love her until he had x amount of thousands in the bank... that he needed his energy for that. She helped him make those thousands and he naffed off anyway.. in the new car she helped him buy.
I listened for a moment then said.. " well , that's what happens when you expect the court jester to be king!"
she laughed.

I was joking, but we thought about that for a second or two and realised that often we do. Expect or hope people will be, or can be, that which they are not.
The decision remains in their hands and their hands alone.

There's a fine line between a prince and a pauper, the art is truly knowing which is which.

Friday 9 November 2012


There are days like these.
When everything stops.
They exist at the end of rainbows
The bottom of wells
They are the pointlessness of merry go rounds.
The boots of Dick Whittington
The are the confetti left on the ground after a party
The stray broom bristle
The waterless tap
Days like these we remember
When we'd really like to forget


I am not great today.
Last night I was absolutely freezing the length of my spine.
No matter what I did , I couldn't get warm
I was awake most of the night as a result.
I believe I 'slept an hour, between four and five
I'm looking forward to feeling fitter, like I used to.
Feel empty

I don't know.

Thursday 8 November 2012

To be or not to be

Who you are and who you want to be
I actually wrote this post in the bath this morning. Too much information I know.

It’s only relevant as it’s where I'm able to do some of my clearest thinking. It’s just me alone with my thoughts... or at times, no thoughts at all, just stillness.
Anyway, what struck me today was how many of us never become the people we want to be, and why.
Truth is, whenever a person says I’d love to be like (whatever) in the future.. that’s pretty much where it remains.
I’m going to try to explain this however inarticulately, so I apologise in advance.

The person you want to be exists in the here and now. Some may say they want to be less impatient, less angry, or happier, yet fail to address the behaviours that they find unappealing as they occur, or as they show up in their lives. There doesn't have to be a grand statement or announcement to the masses, and this work may take time, but the fact is that if you choose to become immediately, the person you want to be, you will be it.
Some may argue okay well hang on.. I want to be a multi millionaire in the future, but I actually have -0 in the bank right now. How can I be that person today? right now?
I would say, “who would you be if you were a multi millionaire..?”
That person may then say.. “Well I’d be travelling, buying properties, clothes businesses etc”
I would then say,” that’s what you would be doing.. I said who would you be.. how would you feel.. tell me about you
They may then go on to say things like .. “Well I’d be happier, less stressed, a nicer person, friendly, spend more time with family and friends etc”
And that’s my point.
Be that now.
You can live your multi millionaire life right now if you think about it.

The only thing stopping us from being who we want to be, is who we are now.
Our resentments, anger, greed or any other behaviour that's in total contrast to our highest purpose, our truest nature, can be dealt with right now.

Before we know it.. that person we’ve always wanted to be .. is exactly who we are.
No doubt.

Black America White America.. United States of America

I watched a very interesting news report yesterday on why republicans failed to win the US elections.
In the report it was made clear that there had been record numbers (71%)of Latino voters,
93% African Americans... voted for Obama.
The crux of the report was that the changing demographics were leaving the republicans with a slightly outdated image. The reporter stated that they ( republicans)had (in the past) relied on the votes of angry white men.. and there simply aren't enough of them around.

According to the report another vote loser was the 'republicans' remarks on abortion.. which put women off significantly


Cool dude..

I think the report failed to mention Obamas ability to connect with people from diverse backgrounds.. made it come across as though blacks simply voted for blacks.

Yet anyone who knows anything about black people at all..should perhaps know that in reality the opposite is true. We're a colonised bunch, and colonialism is all about divide and rule, superiority vs inferiority, divisions, opposites, duality.. e.g I'm rich you're poor/ African/Caribbean/dark/light/ Nigerian/Ghana/ Somalian/ Jamaican St Lucian.. tall short/ fat thin... so many divisions, ways to exclude and separate. Black people are not normally renown for supporting each other ( so to speak), so as an observer of these things I'll go out on a limb and say the term black can actually mean ( in this context)..divided.
So ingrained are these thought processes, that they actually occur effortlessly, and left unchallenged, are pretty much normalised.
Many are just plain unaware.
So the fact that so many have voted for Obama is.. well..somewhat unusual.. yet very very interesting..

Now I'm not implying that there aren't those who may simply have voted for Obama because he's 'black' but if you look deeper, you may find that it's more about the way he makes them feel. The image of a man who looks like them.. and more importantly appears to feel as they do... impacts on them in positive ways therefore( whether he's able to come good on his promises or not) 'they'... fell like somebody.

They trust.. and like.. that feeling.

In reality.. the republicans simply failed to connect.. and perhaps the party intentions were simply not unappealing, or trust worthy.

Man for the top job

Wednesday 7 November 2012

Do you know where your arse is..

It helps.
You see, knowing where your arse is can help prevent you from asking silly questions and expecting a serious answer.
Questions like... " I'm meant to be somewhere, but I don't know where it is, as I don't have the you know where it is?"
Errr.. what's the name of place?
"I don't know!"...


I've been a little weary lately.

My friend would say it has something to do with my planetary activity.
Maybe she's right.
Maybe not.
It's possible that I'm just a little 'run down'.. definitely tired. There are days when you simply feel like a hug. I wondered if a person could actually die from a lack of hugs. That thought led me to search out why (at least some of us) have days like that.. perhaps things aren't going too well, or as planned, or hoped, you feel blue and the best thing you can think of is a hug. turns out ( as you may already know) hugging increases the levels of oxytocin in the body, and is really effective at reducing high blood pressure and possibly preventing heart disease.Hugs can also reduce (apparently) some of the early symptoms of Alzheimer’s, reduce stress.. and believe it or not fear. Women in particular seem more prone to hugging as a way of expressing warmth, affection , understanding, empathy, gratitude, forgiveness and caring, and the irony is,.. the very thing that may be perceived as a little soft or weak (by some men anyway.. and maybe even a few hardcore girlies) is actually natures way of taking care of us.

Which is why it feels so natural.

I also read somewhere that...

"everyone needs at least four hugs a day for healthy survival, eight hugs a day for emotional strength, and 12 hugs a day to really grow and be empowered"... cool huh. The proviso was however... that 'they also need to be open and sincere'... so no cheating.. as it wont work.

It made me also wonder why the things that come natural to humans can often be the things we suppress.
We strive to relieve our blue moods by using all kinds of complex things.. when in truth, all it sometimes takes is a hug..and there's nothing wrong in saying it.

Sunday 4 November 2012

3 day weekend?

How great would a 3 day weekend be?.
Why don't we have one?
A 3 day weekend would enable working people to get their shopping done, house work done, leaving a day for their well being, and good old rest.

When we think about well being and having a nice work life balance.. it seems to make sense to me that the better we feel as people.. the more productive we would be in all areas of our life.

I think Boris should push for a 3 day weekend.. or we should :)

I'm a dreamer....


Yesterday I dreamt of New York. I was on the subway. I don't remember much else at the moment, other than being in a hotel suite also.

I'm not planning to go to New York in the near future but who knows.

Anyway...I wanted to talk about the many sides of us.
In a way integrity of self vs dishonesty of self.
What sometimes happens in life is that we separate various parts of ourselves and present them as whole to various people(depending on which of our sides that person finds appealing) .. then oddly blame them for failing to see the real 'us'.

That game, is a game we really play with ourselves.. yet when we think we win.. in reality we lose... becoming more and more fragmented from ourselves in the illusion we create.. and present as reality.

That illusion is what some will call the ego.. others.. the lower self. Of its self it can serve a purpose, can be relatively amusing,even harmless, can be a source of development.. in fact it is .. but perhaps it's best not left in the driving seat.
Left in the driving seat it wreaks havoc..

This is one of the reasons I like the title of Joe's song all that I am..

Never to late?

There's an old saying that its never too late
Is that true?
In some instances perhaps it can be too late.
We are given opportunities in life that we ask for, what we do with them is entirely up to us.

It is possible to receive these opportunities yet arrogance, laziness, apathy, or the untamed ego, can see those opportunities fade before our very eyes. Reason being perhaps, is because the pure energy and focus that we used to receive them initially, becomes dulled or tainted.. resulting in our inability to see them as opportunities or blessings.. so away they go.
Maybe self doubt sets in.. cementing the feeling that it was luck, and therefore wasn't meant for us at all.. that we were neither ready or deserving.

When we realize the truth it may be too late. Yet we can turn it around by simply reconnecting with that pure source (that open honesty with self) that made it possible in the first place. That takes humility, understanding, and acceptance that we were the cause of the outcome.
It is possible that (in some cases) in order to gain, we have to lose. It enables us to recognise it. But again.. once that lesson is learned it need not be repeated.
However... what we perceive as a loss, may not be a loss at all.. but simply freedom.
Freedom to be can be a scary prospect for those among us who don’t know who , or what we are supposed to be.. finding and uncomfortable comfort in being told.
Relying on that old adage its never too late can be a risky business.
it's is the bedfellow of procrastination and a possible precursor for taking things for granted

Heatwave..Sunday Slow Jam..

I've been enjoying some old footage this weekend. We've moved away somewhat from bands that play and sing.. when it comes to soul/ RnB anyway. Quite miss it actually...bands practising their craft broke as you like .. in some back room, basement, or studio room.
Apparently the lead singer Johnnie Wilder Jr died in his sleep in 2006.. don’t know why.
He sang like an angel that’s for sure
Luther Vandross sang an amazing version of this song however.. this one has that little something extra special.

Saturday 3 November 2012

Barry White.. yes maybe a little early in the evening but... sweet

I read .. I think it's called love unlimited, and just held a greater fondness for Barry White after that. (must revisit that book time permitting)
I knew more of his music than his life..very interesting life story.. special voice.
His voice, is my accompaniment to 'empire' at the moment.. shortly to be joined by some foodage.. and irish creme da la..

"..he kept dreamin - ooh that someday he'd be a star...".. Gladys Knight

I wonder..who has a favourite Gladys Knight & the Pips track?.. here's mine..
How great are those pips.. can you imagine having them with you all day..doing little dances behind your back..cheering you up.. getting lunch.... "err, Dawna.. who are the guys in the blue suit??.. oh.. there just my pips"
I can barely remember a step class routine.. let alone do that and sing

here's a clearer sound version with lyrics thrown in.. gotta love it

.. and this is my other..

On the bond theme.. this was a great theme song by Gladys

Wednesday 31 October 2012


I usually hide from the local kids trick or treating... seriously creepy. Cute.. but creepy.

Maybe I’ll buy some little sweets for them this time, and not be such a meany,
after all.. those pumpkin lanterns look really cool.. even though I’ve never made one since childhood myself. I tried once when my own kids were small and nearly cut me finger, so that put a stop to that malarkey

Remember folks...Witches and wizards don’t wait til Halloween to come out.
They’re out and about...all –the- time
Muwah ah ah ah ah ::-\

Don't eat to much chocolate.. save some for later

Chat up lines..

Do chat up lines still work?
Did they ever?.. really?

I've heard that a woman can tell if she likes a man and visa versa in the first few seconds of meeting.. sooner perhaps after the first few seconds of conversation
Chat up lines can be funny, and humour is nice
But chat up lines delivered seriously sometimes smack of insincerity.. so may not work at all.
The most effective approach seems to be no chat up line at all. Just a genuine interest in the other person. Good listening, eye contact, and regular conversation. No bravado..
It's still a chat up.. just with no line

Tuesday 30 October 2012

One Wish

If you had one wish .. what would you use it for?.. and why?

One of the things I've come to realise over the years that if you have no clear knowledge of who you are, or hold a vision for who you want to become, others will readily fill that void for you.
In your ‘absence’ others can create 'you', and an entire life and character for you, which can then in reality make your ability to be self actualising/self defining very difficult.
It’s easily done. .. but it’s rarely achieved without our ‘approval’.

It’s easily achieved when 'we' fear our internal power, or feel over years of conditioning, that we are not up to much.. not quite right.. not quite enough.. leading to the 'need' to continuously prove ourselves.
Tiring stuff huh...

Each one of us holds a unique key.. which when when found can unlock a whole world of adventure, of 'our' choosing .
When we go to have our house keys cut, we don’t hand it over and then say.. "give me any key back!".. we’d never get in.. right?..

Well... many of us may be trying to use the wrong key.. never quite gaining access to who we really are... outside of that invention.. created by others.

Monday 29 October 2012

Big families are us...

The governments 'unofficial' 2 children limit on families?
Thinking about it, I can see the argument from both sides, but it’s an uncomfortable proposal. (for me)

From my experience, women/people have children for a number of reasons, but I don’t think they do so consciously thinking... I can do so as the state will pay... or rather - 'let the state pay'.

The reasons I’m familiar with include
A natural desire to reproduce/have/raise a family
‘accidentally’ getting pregnant and deciding to keep the baby and be a mother/parent
And of course.. falling in lurve.. and a desire to create life with the one you love and see yourselves and your love reflected in your creation.

When we begin to put a price on life it gets murky.
So how far should the state intervene in family life choices?
It's difficult as there are times when the state has to get involved, and in those situations we understand and appreciate it, especially when the outcome is positive.. but can 'it'go too far.. and how far is too far?

Britney.. Sometimes

Seem to be in a pop mood today. ( hmmm blame those pesky JLS boys)
An old favourite of mine from Britney.
It's a nice song.
There's a reggae version but frankly.. I prefer this one. Sorry Sanchez.

You've got mail

On the news today it was stated that 1 in 4 people are afraid to, and do not open their bank statements.
I can relate. I didn't open mine for four years, in fact... I only began to open them recently.

Why didn't I open them?
Quite frankly I just got pissed off.
I got pissed off because my bank seemed to feel the need to write me and charge me for ‘their pleasure’, for very minor things.
I got pissed off as I could see what was going out and coming in was arse about face.
I decided I didn’t want any distractions to me achieving what I wanted to, and the bank were becoming a very big and unwelcome distraction.

Then, slowly... it became the elephant in the room.

The freedom and power I initially felt of not opening one letter, spread to all letters... and believe me when I say I-didn't –open- any- letters.
Sadly, what began as freedom begun to feel like a noose around my neck.
I confronted that demon a few weeks back now. It wasn't easy.
But I'm glad I did.
Someone had (what felt like) 'a go at me', made me cry, couldn't sleep.. and I felt that I was somehow letting my mum and family down.. After all.. I was always the one most likely to succeed... at everything.
No pressure.. just how it's been.
It was confusing for me and made little sense, as I've always felt incredibly rich.

Anyway, I got angry with myself, got tough with myself, as my ego doesn't like the feeling of being looked down upon, especially when it knows it is capable of, and worth, so much more.
I called a friend who said if I needed her help she’d come over. Knowing that support was available should I need it, was a comfort, yet it turned out I didn’t need it. I woke up the following day, got the pile of letters and began to open them.. one- by- one. it felt great
Most were reminders, insurances expiring, statements, new cards random everyday things.
Somehow, I was cradling a fear that I would open a letter and my world would fall apart. That I would owe the bank millions, and bring shame upon my family.
My creative mind the better of me.

I really needn't have worried.
To hear that 1 in 4 people may actually feel, or be going through what I went through reminds me that we are not that different in many ways.
We fear losing our possessions
We fear shame
We panic, over paying the bills, or making the money stretch to cover everything.
We worry.
We fret over the unknown
and shame and expectation heightens our fear.

In truth, we really needn’t worry, as the worry is always worse than the reality.

A friend of mine has decided to throw away 2 items( possessions) every week.
Yesterday she spoke of the attachment she had formed to being head of operations, and how she began to lose herself to the status of the role, and the income it brought with it.
Having purchased several homes, one is being repossessed. Whilst others may freak out over such a thing, she is as calm as you like. In fact, happy to see it go. It’s one less thing to worry about, and in fact, we tend to only live in one house at a time.
Other homes we hope, may generate an income. Provide for us in our old age.. should we ever get there... and should the stress and cultivated misery not kill us first:)
But... that’s not what makes us happy.

I was happiest when I didn't even have a place to live. I was optimistic, hopeful bright eyed and bushy tailed. I was doing things that I loved. I felt I had everything, and more to come.
You see what often occurs is that others project their expectations onto us.
Yet if we asked ourselves what would truly make us happy, if there were no shame attached, if we felt we couldn't let anyone down... and we wouldn't be seen as a failure...We may be surprised with the answer.

Happy Monday x

*disclaimer - this post isn't entirely accurate. I did open anything that began with the words; To the parent or guardian of.... oh and birthday cards.. you know.. important stuff

N Sync

I was reminded of this group today by the JLS song..
I guess I was a bit of an NSync fan (from time to time)

Hottest girl in the world.. JLS

Must say I do like this tune..
Reminds me of Justin Timberlake from back in the day

Warmed me up a bit
nice one boys.. and.. errrm.. thanks?


Hope all manage the N.Y storm well

Insomniacs...dreaming of shopping

Hmmm should have got more sleep perhaps.. still, I'm sure the cold will wake me up fully.
I worked with an 'insomniac' many years ago.
We used to meet on the train, she was always on time, always reading her book, and as calm as you like.
I remember feeling the whole story seemed quite incredulous, but she explained that whilst she rested.. she didn't actually sleep and hadn't done for years.

I know that when I'm tired I can feel a little grumpy, so imagine if I hadn't slept for years??
Well.. oddly enough I actually sleep less now than I used to. I know when my body needs rest and try to get it when I can, but I'm not keen on being dictated to with regards to when I should sleep, so if I'm not tired.. I don't.
But there are times when I could definitely get back to bed..
and if I'm honest, that time is now.... but .. I wont.


Nearly time for a bit of a winter shop..
Keen on a new wardrobe.. and looking for some nice boots this season.. and.. surprise surprise.. I feel a pull towards.. Topshop:).. Westfield definitely has it's charm also..
Pretty stuff.. shiny things perfumes and tinsel..
Sugar and spice and all things nice..
Nice to indulge now and again..


I am my beloved and my beloved is me
I am the sun the moons and stars.. in his eyes
In mine he is water fire earth
I glisten like a diamond
Precious as a pearl
Solid and rooted
Yet fluid in nature
Together we are the universe
With the ability to change
So sometimes I'll be fire
and sometimes.. he'll be a diamond
It doesn't matter
because I am my beloved
and my beloved is me

Being fearful..

I say being because fear is often acted out.. it really is a state of being. e.g I may feel fearful, but it's not until I act fearful, will that fear have any real power.
Fear can creep up on you at any moment if you're not careful... old fears can resurface, therefore it's important to keep check, and put them in their place if and when they do.

Fears like... what if.. ( followed by the worst case scenario)

A friend of mine reminded me (yesterday) that fears that act as a permanent blockage in a life, will continue to show up or remain unless or until (it)..they're faced, and dealt with..

Late night musings..

No matter what the question is.. the answer is always love.

I enjoyed this video, which I stumbled across.. as you do
Gosh it's Monday.. better get to bed soon

Friday 26 October 2012

A Glen Washington moment..

for the record...
I think Daniel Craig is now the best James Bond we've had.
Looks like a top movie


It aint complicated..

Freedom to be, freedom of thought, freedom to do

True freedom is self mastery.. the Knowledge of self.
Which isn’t what others think of you.. but what you know of yourself
In freedom it may even be possible to love being in bondage.... as in freedom, it would be your choice.
Nelson Mandela and others like him, knew a greater freedom while incarcerated
For in prison the value of freedom is known

What freedom do you long for?
I suspect you’ll find It’s yours for the taking.

Friday lunch treat.. Morgan Heritage

Its been a long week,(yet time seems to have sped up) lots on, not over yet

Wednesday 24 October 2012

Daniel Bedingfield's finest love songs

Haven’t heard these for a while, until I entered the coffee shop this morning.. ahh yes Daniel Bedingfield.. 'If you’re not the one', as love songs go, what can I say... It’s way up there.. for me, and I'm sure many others.

This one may have the edge for me though.. only just..
It’s the guitar.. his voice.. words

Here it is...the type of song women picture at weddings isn't it.. or just one of those daydreaming

Sunday 21 October 2012

Affairs of the heart .. Damien Marley

Finally.. Ce Ce Peniston..


Delroy Wilson

The law of the jungle..

Can attack the immune system.
A build up of stress is definitely something to be avoided.
Many things can cause us to experience stress, and watch out... it can be a creeper.

London buses/transport can equally affect the immune system... those little germ riddled spaces/incubators... for sure... I've had to take LT a few days now, so i think there maybe something in that.
Today, I'm really gonna try... 'bringhappyback'. Yes... bringhappyback is where you say sod it.. I'm okay.
Gonna forget any woes and be joyful. Focus on that which brings me joy.
Today, my aim is to refocus the mind, and be content in who I am, as sure enough, when you feel under the weather, the law of the jungle says you can become prey to predator’s lol. Even those you don't think will eat you, will begin to look at you and think.. hmmm (she's wounded)..maybe a little nibble.. fill me boots!
So, not seeking to become prey, my aim is solely to get better. . as quickly as possible.

For as the law of the jungle states.. the fittest of the fittest and all that malarkey

The myth of unconditional love?

Been up since 5.30am. Early...too early. Felt too ill to sleep. Popped to the shop to get some more lemons. Shopping in the dark as the country sleeps.
Well before I clamber back to bed, I thought I’d write a little.
Wanted to talk about unconditional love. Yes, that thing many of us seek, yet take for granted once gained. You see it takes a level of maturity I think, to recognise it, and see it not as a weakness, but as a thing of great beauty. I think it takes a level of maturity to control the egos attempts to ruin it, or make a mockery of it.
But what exactly is it?.

If a man (or woman) beats up on their partner for example, should they love unconditionally?
Can a person expect to receive unconditional love from another if they themselves are not capable of such a thing themselves?
Perhaps it's the absence of expectation, and is simply an overwhelming will to love.. a natural state of being.
In the main, most people would say unconditional love is when a person loves them, or they love another... flaws and all. Loves them even if they act up or play the fool... makes mistakes... argue. But what about if a man (or woman) loses all the joint funds on a bad business investment...makes it back... then foolishly loses it all again?
How do you know if unconditional love is what you have for a person?
Do we love people for who they are.. or who we hope they will be..?

Well... unconditional love does not mean that no other emotions ( such as anger) will be experienced.. but love provides a light.. understanding.. reason.
It calms anger and heals wounds
Would it be fair to say unconditional love is love? And anything else really isn’t love at all... but something else entirely?

If a person abuses that love, perhaps it's simply a result of them not having the ability to receive it, to understand it, mainly because they may just not be ready for it, not mature enough for it, feel threatened or intimidated by it... as one can only receive what one has the ability to feel, see, know, acknowledge or give also.

But is it overrated?

For example... a plant will only grow on condition that the conditions are right for it
A cup of tea will only taste sweet on condition we add sweetener to it.
To that end, we only grow as people on condition that we are open to it, or else we remain stagnant, unless of course we are forced into action by drastic earthly or unearthly forces out of our control.
So can we be loving and that not be reflected in our actions?. I think not.

Many of us manipulate it..fear it, question or doubt it.. instead of just letting it be.
Love is felt from the very soul..surely 'mans' greatest quest.. and greatest achievement.

So my question today this Sunday morn is... do we truly love... or simply just expect to receive it?

Happy SMSx

Saturday 20 October 2012


Great. I’m ill.
Ill or not I still have to do some shopping today, and carry on as usual.
Last night I remembered when my parents would travel from their home to mine if I were ill.. and bring me soup.. and Lucozade.

I don’t expect that kind of thing now of course, but whatever happened to that.
What's happend to us as people?
No care anymore
No love
No sense of... let me make Dawna something as she’s tired, and now.. she’s ill.
Just . no. sense.
Unfeeling is how we are at times.

Tell you what. We can read as much as we like about love, or science, or anything. . fill our heads with knowledge on how to be.. what makes marriage work, and all that kinda stuff... but it’s nowt . Absolutely nowt unless experienced - actioned.

Yes... I’m sick. Did I say?
Better get ready.

Friday 19 October 2012

Weeks over..

Struggled through this week,
Bit tired (carrying too much stuff around) and a bit run down perhaps (hence the vitamins)
Still, I got through it... now just wrapped up nursing a slight sore throat and the chills.
My ideal evening would include a glass of Baileys (been awhile) and snacks... nice music... and browsing the box. Maybe even snuggling up with the duvet watching a movie till late. Not sure what I’ll do, but its Friday, and I’m feeling lighter.
The weathers changed but other than that things are pretty much same as usual.

I suspect I'll just have an early night..

Bill Withers..

Men can be...

Moody too sometimes.

Seriously...they can.
Moodiness is often associated with female behaviour, and to be honest fair enough. Yes, it can happen.
on the hour?... no!!.. be fair.. perhaps only every other
But we need to break the myth that men are not some of the moodiest gits on planet earth.
They’re moody for all sorts of reasons, sports, food, you name it... sitting in traffic, getting lost, having to ‘deal’ with our ‘so called' moods.
Yeah.. to be sure..Moody men are no picnic.

But I find it’s best when you, as ‘Steven Amos’ says, "find the funny".
Try and find some humour once the initial mood has passed like a blizzard,
and chances are they.. like us.. may not even remember what they were moody about in the first place, or why it was the most important event since earth's creation.

I guess what we all want is to be being able to work out what is 'just a mood' ( for men and women) and when there may be a real issue, or genuine unhappiness.

Happy Friday y'all xx

Thursday 18 October 2012

Ms Independent..

Yes things can confuse at times
This time last year nowt was confusing.. and food was cheaper.
Still, I'm in the place I had visualised myself being in, ( less messy perhaps) so there is something to be said for creating an action plan and positive visualisation... Or perhaps just plain old focus.. divine intervention ..

What ever happened to the show wife swap?
Did you need to have a husband to take part?
The walk to work was interesting, changed up my route a bit. Strange.
I ask of others that which I can or will deliver also.
But not always, as with life it depends on the context.
Reason and intent.

Anyway.. those were some random thoughts!.. back on point
I wonder about this independent woman thing.
I think there’s a difference between being self sustaining and selfish.. overburdened or supported, alone or accompanied.
Yes.. there are pros and cons on either side I suspect..
Still, I also wonder if the less we need each other the more distant we become, ( emotionally vacuous folk, struggling to truly connect outside of texts appin' and email.. hey..does anyone write letters anymore?) and just to be clear by need I mean recognise that we are interdependent on each other ( and there’s no shame in that) , and we aren’t necessarily meant to go through life alone.. ( and not.. as in I need a beer!)
Also, independent thought is something I think we should all strive towards. The fight against being programmed, to be able to resist at times, think for ourselves, share our thoughts, and not have husbands or boyfriends, or even mates, chastise you for it.
I like that kind of independence.. I’m happy to receive support in all other areas.. why not?.. we all human).. just as I give in return.. I aint selfish x) so...form an orderly queue..

Imagine a world without Image?

A moment.

There tends to be pressure on women to look good... ish.. right?
But is the pressure in our ( womens) heads?
I say this because who really notices, and how important is it?

Well it’s all subjective anyway and different people like, or find different things acceptable, desirable, presentable.. or ‘right’. I think in the main it depends on the role you do, or the day you have planned, but I wonder if the same applies to men.
Well a few years ago I may have said no, but nowadays.. yes.. to a point.
I think there is a certain amount of pressure on men to look either smart/professional ... or trendy.
Outside of that they are labelled goofballs, naff, geeky or told they have no style or swagger ( dodgy term I hear) .. and women either spend their time ignoring them.. refusing dates, or resign themselves to saying yes, then spending a lifetime trying to transform them (whilst secretly resenting it)

Style over substance has little value I know, but we can’t kid ourselves that we are not influenced by image.
We should however question and try to wipe the slate clean in some cases, as there has been an element of brainwashing carried out the vast number of us.
I’m not keen on certain body shapes on women ( even if it were my own?)
Mainly if it seems to scream.. lazy .. or greedy, or undisciplined... or just plain slack.

But I have to check myself and not judge as I honestly believe that body shape may simply be hereditary. I say this as I’ve seen some very hefty people with very hefty children.. with very hefty parents of their own.
My argument to myself and a friend was that it was hereditary, but then the counter argument was that they simply ate the same (junk/processed) foods, and lived the same lifestyle.

I have no issue saying fat or out of shape etc, as I find that when it comes to me people rarely hold back calling me skinny or whatever they feel. I don’t mind, I am. As are they... fat.

Yes all is beautiful I hear you say.. but I ask you.. do you really mean it?

Wednesday 17 October 2012

Wednesdays wonders..

I’m lucky. I don’t need anyone to think for me.
But if I did I would worry slightly.
I would worry because I’m not sure they would act in my best interests, or would even know what my best interests were.
But if they got it right I would be forever grateful.

I’m lucky.
I have a roof over my head and I know where my children are
If I didn’t I would worry somewhat
That we may need help and not find it.
But if I did, I would forever grateful

But what is luck anyway?
Some say it’s when the universe seems to correspond and align to your betterment,
Some say it’s has a lot to do with the energy you emit
Maybe luck is winning the lottery
Meeting the ‘right guy or girl’
Getting a job you love
To be honest, it’ll mean different things to different people
But when you consider the kind crap that could go down... best to be thankful if you’re spared

Never sell your soul...

Okay class.. here I come... x

Sunday 14 October 2012

Being in love..

There is nothing better than being in love
It fills you
Being in love is a state of being
Love itself will do as it pleases yet can only reside where a place has been set for it...uncluttered and unfilled with negative emotions
Love can demolish all negative forces
Overcome obstacles
Its riches are worth more than earthy riches
They say you have no need to search for it..
Let it be.. it will be there
Once you find it.. cherish it.. like a plant.. nurture it
It will nurture you in return..

Happy SMS xx


I was raised a Christian by my parents, grew into and through the teachings of Rastafari in my teens, and have browsed through various scriptures of other faiths in my time, and in them...the eating of pork is always an abomination.
That's a strong word, but our scriptures do tend to love a strong word or two.

Still.. ever since, the eating of pork has always struck me as odd, surely if you're conscious you wouldn't eat pork right?.. well I've since met people who appear fairly conscious but still eat pork. I struggle to marry the two.

I know many cultures eat pork, for example many Chinese dishes incorporate pork, and in black African and Caribbean cultures pigs feet and god knows what else is considered a delicacy.. and in European culture bacon and eggs is considered a staple.

Food of slaves - pork was especially common.
'Chitlins' - pig intestines was used to maximise profits, despite the fact that pork harbours diseases, and most know that a pig is the dustbin of the farmyard and will eat anything.

Pork was real slave food.
What slaves ate

I know it's not the only thing they ate - but it lingered in a way long after slavery that I don't quite get. (perhaps like saltfish)

Argument against

I wish I could present a stronger argument as to why I think pork blocks your spiritual channels but at present I can't. Yet why did the early sages recommend avoidance?... perhaps it does something?...
Don't get me wrong.. I eat alot of 'crap'.. from time to time, and could be much healthier than I currently am , but.. pork?..
The day I eat that is the day you know 'chattle slavery' has returned... my life depended on it..and pigs can fly.
Let's hope neither of those occur.

Anytime I ask my mum or sister why they eat it they say.. it tastes nice.. hmmm juicy.. yeah well.. so's my right leg I suspect.. would you gnaw on that?

Who was I in a past life?...

Last night after watching something on youtube I began to drift off. In fact I did drift off, but instead of sleeping I began ruminating on something that I’ve pondered over for awhile.
Past lives.

I’ve always wondered who I was in a past life, have done since a very young age. Back in the day my parents mentioned my being like my fathers grandmother, but I think we were just similar.. and I not... an incarnation of her per se.
Anyway. I think I’ve narrowed it down.

Why?.. you may wonder does it matter about who you were in a past life?. Well, I think it can explain certain aspects of who we are as people.. our calling perhaps. For me.. anyway, all that aside.. I’m just interested.
But it’s confusing.

Okay here’s what I’ve got. I was a woman, born during turbulent times of racial conflict.
I've struggled to work out which conflict.. it's still a little hazy.

I was young, and deeply in love with an amazing man who was taken from me – either killed or imprisoned during the conflict...I , met my own similar fate shortly after. I think perhaps it was a fairly recent conflict. I was actually born in 68, so this may have occurred shortly before that... I’m drawn to Zimbabwe’s 1st or 2nd Chimurenga... so maybe then but I’m not sure.
This may sound odd to some people, but last night I felt sure that it directs not only my relationships in terms of the qualities I seek or gravitate towards, an the importance of them...right down to my career, passions in life.. opinions I have, and mission/calling.
As I said.. it's becoming clearer but still a little hazy.
When I have more I will share more.

Anyway... I found this site on the net and for fun followed the instructions to see what it would tell me about my past life.
Here’s what it said....

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Iran around the year 1300. Your profession was that of a preacher, publisher or writer of ancient inscriptions.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Artistic personality, always transforming the ugly into the beautiful, gray into bright colors. You would find an opportunity of creative self-expression in any situation.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your main lesson is to develop magnanimity and a feeling of brotherhood. Try to become less adhered to material property and learn to take only as much, as you can give back.
Do you remember now?