Sunday 31 July 2011

Tim Wise (anti racist activist and author) ..

This was a twitter link.. interesting

Further research found this.. I'll just post two.. it actually comes in 6 parts so you can follow the links if you're interested..

I love that you love..

My eyes
When you look into them and smile
I see my soul reflected in you
My hair
As wild and as soft as I can be
That only you see
It's uniquely me
My arms
That wrap around you at night
Ever so tight
My legs
err.. ditto

My mind
As you're never challenged or afraid
You care about the things I say
My insecurities
Even those I struggle to know
Struggle to control
As I struggle to grow
So many reasons for me to love you
I love that you love

Happy SMSx

Has the racist discourse of the 'strong black woman' made some men lazy?

Historically black woman have had to cope with a whole lot.

They’ve been worked, and have had to work harder than most, have raised more children than most (including those who are not their own) been subject to more emotional and psychological abuse than most, and are often criticised/scrutinised more than most.
I would argue that no one could really survive that without the strength, courage, and dignity required not only handle the situations that come along, but also to rise above it and function with good grace, love and hope . However, when faced with it, is there a choice?. Do, or die.

Despite the fact that many will argue that things have moved on a great deal with regards to racism, the notion of the ‘strong black woman’ has stuck. I would argue that Black women still have to work that bit harder than most, and at the moment, I feel are being used somewhat in the argument against the public sector cuts in a rather sad and shameless fashion. Yes the public sector cuts could potentially hit black women hardest, but black women have been subject to much discrimination in and out of the workplace for years. Where are the activists when you need them? Did I miss that march?

It is said that there are more black single mothers in the UK than any other nationality. I would argue that a point worth considering is that many of these men may have also bought into the racist belief/notion of the ‘strong black may think..why bother?... she can cope with it all!!’ despite being black themselves.
*Ahem..just because she can..doesn’t mean she should have too!

When someone refers to a woman in that way it’s almost as if the implication is that she is very masculine,( part man part machine) not feminine, and not therefore deserving of the level of care, respect, and support, that another woman may receive. (This is not a feminist argument... please stay on point with me here)

Whilst I think that black women are incredible and often exhibit the highest level of fortitude, that should not be an excuse to alter your behavior to such an extent that your actions are a stark contrast to your actions towards any other non black female.
What’s racist is not that the woman is strong.. it’s what that concept triggers in your mind, which is then played out in your actions.
The main trigger being because she is black- and strong.

One of the reasons Ridley road market makes me sad is that whenever I visit I’m surrounded by elder black women, pulling what looks like the heaviest shopping trolleys on their own, looking for a bargain or two to feed their families. Where are the fetchin’ men???
I see some outside a bookie (betting shop) or two, some even have the gaul to try and chat me up ( you know some eye cuttin’ may be required on those occasions..)

But you know what… if they’re still 'above ground'... they should be alongside their women, carrying that heavy load right by her side. As any decent man knows.
No wonder some of these women suffer the kinds of ailments they are subject to.. high blood pressure being a biggy.
We need to change that. We can change that. We can actually change that right now. Guys.. why not make your lady a cup of tea!! Take the kids to the park and give her a break!!
In short, a woman, is a woman, is a woman… treat her right
She’ll be your..hmmm... ‘rock’
Happy SMSx

*Don’t worry men, I’ll write something nice for you as alwaysx

Friday 29 July 2011

I didn't know Narrowboating could be so much fun!!

Had a nice day today.
Had the chance to see out the last working day with a trip on a narrow boat...after a bit of hard graft that is!.
Never been on such a boat before, i must say , and was a bit unsure as have been a bit under the weather so thought the sway of the water wouldn't be the best medicine.
I was wrong.

It was a lovely trip.
I had the chance to steer for awhile which was a whole lot of fun.
I can see myself doing this trip again.. it's very relaxing scenic, and a great way to spend an afternoon.
Has the potential for adventure and romance..
I highly recommend it.. holiday on a boat..

Hackney is a beautiful place
Let the break commence..x

What ever happened to .. Tevin Campbell?? two of the hottest tracks of that time!!.. really miss hearing T.C..

Thursday 28 July 2011

A little musical stroll down memory lane..

Went to my 1st dance which if memory serves me correct was held at Upton house school. Stood behind a guy who was wayyy taller than me who, when this song came on asked me to dance. I was bloody terrified.. 'you what??.. me?? .. dance??.. with you??.. have we met?!?' lol ..not really .. i just danced along in time.. to be honest the dancing spoilt my enjoyment of the tune, as i was barely 15 and when the lights came on, was scared my dad may have been lurking outside.. Yep 1st dance ever.. Winston Reedy!

Another classic.. 'will anyone ask me to dance?' tune.. yep.. a a few..
Love the lyrics

Pretty sure this played at the school 'disco'.. all the UK Caribbeans thinking they were cool.. 'back a yard'.. Londoners!!..rice n peas and fish n chips.. we missed the fresh food, sun, sand, and sea water of 'back home' whether we'd been there or not!!

This another classic singalong tune ..
verdict? great tunes.. wonderful memories..
Not a fan of dancing with strangers yet, it was good decent fun.. at least people really danced

2 from Mikey Spice..

Something about this song gets me every time.. my fav M.S track possibly .. There's something about the intro, and the 1st few lines of the song. It brings back alot of memories yes, but it sounds so far away as well, a mix of happy and sad..luv it!

Went crazy for this when I first heard it.. bought it on 7inch.. the days of vinyl records!?! and poping down to Regal on a Saturday..

Tuesday 26 July 2011

Remember Trey? ..No sex before marriage??...

SITC fans will know what I'm talking about but even if you don't or you're not a fan, the question is...

Would you marry someone you've never been intimate with?.
If you intend to spend the rest of your life with someone is it important to know if you're sexually compatible?... and how will you know if you...'don't'?

In SITC Charlotte married a man (Trey) that couldn't, wouldn't and therefore .. didn't.
The marriage didn't last. She needed him to love her.
He needed to save face.. and for him, that meant, having a wife.. his mother expected/demanded it! and as a result, he was quite uncaring towards her ( his wife's) desire for ... desire!!

Love is more than just sex. But do you not both have to 'get' each other, know what makes each other tick in all departments.

Maybe the love between two people can be so powerful that you just know you'll be okay in that department.. and therefore... are happy to wait

Who is to blame for adult illiteracy?

There are many things I come across during the course of an average day or week, but one thing that troubles me greatly whenever I’m faced with it, is adults who struggle to write. When I say struggle I mean that they can barely form letters, or words,and are therefore unable to write a coherent sentence.
I can’t really imagine what that must be like for them, but the closest I can get to it would be me trying to write in a foreign language.
I'm not talking about Dyslexia or the odd spelling mistake - I'm talking about being illiterate.

At present about 1 in 5 adults would struggle to read their child a bedtime story out loud.

I can understand this situation if the person/s has come from abroad and didn’t have the opportunity to go to school, for economic or cultural reasons. I can also understand it for those who have suffered ill health and were unable to attend school. I can also 'kind of' understand it for those from very troubled backgrounds, yet still…when I come across someone who was born and raised right here in the UK, and went to school here in London and left that school unable to write, what on earth is that about?... I struggle with that.

I feel deeply compassionate towards these people, and quite curious about our education system

Struggling to write your own name
Filling in forms
Not being able to read the paper
Never writing a love letter
Filling in an application form
Completing benefit forms
At work
Finding a partner
Passing your driving test
Getting lost and needing to read street signs - road names
The list goes on...

Who is to blame?
And if we’re in agreement that not being able to read isn’t the fault of the individual, is it direct discrimination to expect people to fill in application forms for jobs?

I’ve got a lot of respect for adults who take that bold step to learn to read in their adult life...on so many levels, it can’t be easy. The hardest possibly being dealing with the fear of peoples reactions.
When you consider the benefits however, it's worth ever moment of that short lived discomfort.

Saturday 23 July 2011

A word or three five or nine..

Paul Gambaccini.the music journalist said something today that really resonated with me.. he said..and I’m paraphrasing here…

‘What money does, is exaggerate what’s already there. E.g. if you’re paranoid you will become more paranoid..
If you spend money recklessly, you will spend more money recklessly
If you spend money on things that are no good for you, you will spend more money on things that are no good for you
Although your bank balance goes up... your body’s tolerance levels do not.’

I suspect the list really can go on

This, I suspect is why some people say money can’t make you happy
Nor can it mask who you really are

Stripped of trappings of wealth and success
Who are you today?

By da by..

If you're alone you may remain alone
friends are not really friends at all
Your enemies line up side by side
faces masked by a sense of familiarity
difficult now to know who is who
difficult to discern red from blue
Amidst it all one can pass who is true
rejected now for the inability to stand aside and say
stand aside and shout
'Hey.. I am here.. I am not the same.. '
To be trusted by the lonely
'I am honoured' you say
Yet this is not a game
This is real
This is life

Sadness makes one crave physical contact
true or false?

R.I.P Amy Winehouse

He is ..

As loyal as Aaron
And as smart as Joseph
Weary like Moses his eyes offer tales of pain filled journeys
Of disappointments
Of lost loves
And hopeless dreams
They are suppressed by his smile
The un-dimmable light that emanates from his presence
If he says it will be done
It will be done
If he says he will be there
He will be there
Never one for excuses or implausible rhetoric
He chooses his words with care thought and truth
The seduction of every word
That touches your soul
That shelters you from every storm
His unshakable resolve to pursue that which is good
And protect me from the unpleasantries of life
He never lies to me
Is never unkind to me
He is the forbearer of strong values
Defined not by his words but by his deeds
He makes love tenderly
Passionately as men do
Skillfully as men who
Know how to make a woman feel right
Will take his role seriously
Not boyishly
Or fearfully
His body is tough
His hands are rough
In places
Yet capable of great subtleties
He fulfills my needs
He is the sun
the moon
and the stars
Is everything

Saturday thought selection..

I’ve had my early morning fix of Fraiser, and for the 1st time in as long as I can remember this is the first weekend I have absolutely no pending deadline assignment to complete. I’m seriously toying with the idea of going back to bed, and having a lie in - and really chilling out.
Alternatively I could just crack on with the housework, just in case my big sis were to pass by I wouldn’t want her to think I’m a slob- or lazy:)
The Massacre of the Innocents is referred to in wiki as the order of King Herod to wipe out the first born of every household ( remember that story?.. early stories of extremism)

Why did I think of that?.. I'm watching the news and the Norwegian Prime minister is holding a press call and trying to answer questions about what has happened.

Not everyone with extreme beliefs will carryout such atrocious acts, but you wonder why anyone would want to harm innocent people in that way.
Why would anyone want to massacre the innocents?


Diabolical dreams

Had a dream I had a fight with a woman..
"You people are.." she said.. followed by something rude.. (can't remember what)
"What you say?" I asked ..
She repeated it..something was thrown..(by me..;)
I remember I allowed 3 slaps to the face before I threw caution to the wind, grabbed her by the hair and gave her some 'licks'.. It wasn't too bad.. but I remember feeling terrible afterwards that I allowed myself to get embroiled in a fight at all..( not my style) .. but I was provoked and had to defend myself was my justification

The verdict?
Gonna go back to bed and chill for a bit

Arise fresh and ready for housework
Conduct some family affairs
Buy a bottle of red and chill in a tidy home with an unfinished script with a view to immersing myself in another world

If the sun makes a prolonged appearance I'll be out there chilling with nature..enjoy yoursx

Friday 22 July 2011

Fun days..but not for all...

I had such a lovely day today. I’m tired but it’s a good tired.

We had a ‘fun day' at work and the sun shone throughout.
Again I attempted to regain my sprint crown ( from back in the day) and again I lost...Can’t compete with those young fit ‘new blood' cute ladies.. shit they were so
So.. as long and as lovely these legs are.. they definitely aren’t as quick as they used to be!!.
3 legged race was fun, and the rest..
Oohh.. over and out for me ..gotta go and soak these babies.. I’m knackered .
I hear the weather will be nice this weekend so enjoy!
Good nightx


Yes my day was fine but I'm aware that for others it wasn't so great..
Tragic events in Oslo/Norway were terrible


People are having problems of all kinds

So I'm thankful - for every day I have a moment just to smile!! :)x

Thursday 21 July 2011

The sweetest sound..Pam Hall..Sylvia Tella Kofi & Tales of TV land..Adulthood

My fav Pam Hall track - still loving it like new even after all this time!!!

Hoping you all have a lovely day - it's dull gloomy and rainy but still.. enjoy.. I actually wrote TGFI at first.. wishful thinking or what?!?.. nearly there.. TGIT:)

Sylvia Tella..

Haven't heard this for years.. good recording memories..


Yes I'm years behind I know.. but both films have been shown on BBC3 recently, Adulthood was shown last night and I must say... very.. very.. well written
Big respect to Noel Clarke..

Adulthood my preferred choice ties the two film together very well, the backstory runs concurrent..
It was crazy-sexy-funny.. with an outstanding cast in both films

Wednesday 20 July 2011

Things fall apart..

No not the wonderful book by Chinua Achebe.. who almost immediately transports you in time and place - but ...stuff

Stuff that gets under your skin.
Now I've worked out that I function pretty darn well under pressure/ stressful situations. It's as if I have a valve or switch that kicks in ( with no prompting from me) - and another Dawna takes the reigns whilst scatty slightly ditsy Dawna takes a back seat.

But.. and i'm trying to think of a cute pet name for that Dawna because I've become quite fond of her.. (lord knows I've needed her quite a bit of late) but.. it's the little things that find their way into the cracks - that 'big picture' Dawna gets p'ed off about...
e.g.. and in no particular order...

1. Being tired
2. Feeling unwell ( nothing major just the 'headachey', 'temperatury'.. onset of a cold type symptoms
3. Dishes
4 Broken promises ( I've broken a few in my time;-).. shhh .. this aint really about my screw ups!!:)
5 Ongoing untidiness for no apparent reason ( even if it's my own!!)
6 Mercy's aunt's accent ( Eastenders.. I barely watch it now.. but when I do arrrrr stop stressing the T's!!!... is that real??.. it's sounds too fake to me)
7 Foolishness ( whatever I deem it to be.. and dependant on my mood of course)
8 and would you believe it.. complaining/moaning.. about stuff!!!!! lol
If I think about it .. I suspect there are loads more...
( get thee behind me!!)

So.. that's when 'ditsy' Dawna returns to the fore.. and says 'sod it.. girl.. you're more than allowed!! you have earned the right to get pissed off about stuff... throw a cushion or two.. sulk and enjoy the ride!! those who love you.. will still love you when the storm is over;-) and the sun rises again..
Things fall apart sometimes.. but they can be put back together again with time, patience, love and laughter
As they say.. shit happensx

Tuesday 19 July 2011

Word games and game words..

I’ve got a feeling
Got me believing
That everything I’m seeing
Is misleading

I’ve got a feeling
That everything misleading
Can contribute to making
Things confusing

Yet what is confusing
Is an absence of knowing
An absence of trusting
All that you know

And all that you know
May increase or decrease
Day after day
That’s’ just how it goes

Monday 18 July 2011

Can an injection cure '*mans greed for women'

An injection to curb a mans 'greed for women' - to once a month?
as mentioned in this Voice article

Asking scientists to develop a cure for mans greed for extra marital shenanigans!?!
Give us a break..
Who would administer the injections?.. the wives?
So the wives are down to once a month too!?! :)

Is that really the solution?
No self control? No condoms?
Cant the men just be faithful and stick to one woman?

I suspect they do it because they like it - and because they can. Plus if you like something you're not likely to want to take an injection to stop it are you?..
Sexual education classes possibly? no?.. what you say? wont catch on? :)
Try telling a grown man he needs sex ed - he might think you're taking the P

* where relevant

Is Nick Clegg thinking.. this may be my moment to pounce?.. adore Dave!! /Remember Connexions?

I realise that we the public can be a forgetful bunch at times but I don't think the Lib Dems can regain their 'credibility' any time soon..
In fact.. In my humble opinion the worst thing they could do right now is to even attempt to try any kind of 'uprising' against their bedfellows as this article seems to suggest .. eewww.. how tasteless..

Any attempt to cosy up to the Labour Party, now that the head honcho is 'kind of in the heat' would be such a disgusting display of 'kissassism' that .. I'd struggle to take them serious ever again!!

My advice would be.. keep calm and carry on.. it'll pass - and no doubt.. much sooner than it should!!


As Connexions fizzles out without so much as a wimper - we eagerly await the new national all age careers service..
I'm still struggling to understand how secondary schools seem to overlook the importance of an in-house careers advisor - has talking about 'careers' been demoted in the ranks in terms of importance? .. what better way to motivate young people than to keep a focus on the wonderful outcomes that may be possible as a result of their studies..
Taking into consideration that the needs of adults and young people are quite different it'll be interesting to see how this one size fits all approach will.. 'fit all' .. I must retrieve my old connexions training manuals.. ahhhh - it all began so well..

Sunday 17 July 2011

3 cool tracks on my playlist this easy Sunday eve..

Studio 1 ..Girls time..

We can..

We can wrap up warm and walk by the river
Take a trip to central London and mingle with the tourists
We can take silly pictures as we cower in the rain
Or we can just stay at home instead

We can stay at home and cook a meal together
Enjoy the warmth of the house and forget about the weather
We can cuddle on the sofa watch a movie or two
For there's nothing more exciting than to be with you

We can grab a few towels and go swimming for awhile
Drink OJ in the café as children chatter idly by
We can go to the funfair and acquire muddy shoes
We can play at the stalls and win things we'll never use

We can forget about the argument we had in the week
Remember what makes each other’s heart skip a beat
We can screen all our calls
For it’s our day today
as we promised we would always find the time

We promised that we’d never take for granted what we have
That we'd always be a comfort
If the other felt bad
So we can wrap up warm and take a walk in the rain
Or we can just stay at home instead

Happy SMSx

Saturday 16 July 2011

Ciara ft J.T ..

Still loving Mario../Do women really prefer bad guys?

Does 'treat 'em mean keep 'em keen' really work?

Well all women are different but I do think there may be some truth to it, until that woman finally decides she’s worth more gets fed up and moves on maybe..I think there's something in us women that makes us .. wonder

Most women I’ve spoken to do like to feel as though their guy can protect them, which may be in part one reason why the lure of the bad boy is there. Maybe it’s the excitement.. the unpredictability of it all. Yet many of these woman also crave stability, and that desire for stability means that although we may dally with the idea of a bad boy, in truth many of us want a nice reliable man. Someone you can depend on.. (to re grout the bathroom.. I'm kidding!!)

There are always exceptions of course. There are those with men who reside permanently on the wrong side of the law, so a great deal of their women’s time is spent visiting them in prison.

There are also those women who stand by their man despite his ongoing infidelity and her ongoing heartache.. the list goes on..
Yet presented with the option of a ‘good nice guy’ would these women want to know?

How about the balance of a nice yet undeniably masculine guy?
Maybe we women really need to start singing the praises of the good guys more often

Maybe a good test to see if your guy's a good guy is to double up on mattresses put a pea at the base and wait to see if he felt it the following morning :)

Thursday 14 July 2011

Tarrus Riley.. on not taking your loved one for granted.. always a pleasure..

Why we should celebrate heartbreak...

Sometimes songs spring to mind that ask a question, sometimes a question inspires a song. In this case, this afternoon during my 'break' was the song that got me thinking

I know people who have never experienced heartbreak-ever! They're still with the same partner, or in some cases, never had a partner for any length of time to develop that emotional bond.
But, before you think how lucky they must be, I would urge you to think again.

To experience heartbreak you must have experienced love. You must know what it's like to truly care for someone beyond your wildest dreams and know how it feels to be the embodiment of love manifested. That spring in your step, that brooding joy.. that feeling of contentment.. remember that?

Well...that tearing wrenching pain in your gut (that signals heartbreak and not food poisoning) varies dependant on your ability to feel.
So.. the more you hurt, the more you feel..

Celebrate. You, now have what it takes to truly love someone. Yes.. you are now in a higher place!!a bit battered- but not bust!
Fret not, there are remedies...

So...should you survive this painfull affliction ( and you will, with good friends, and a tearfilled moment or five)... treat yourself to something nice:)
You deserve it!!

Hope you enjoy this track... how cool is Jimmy?:)

Wake up London.. it's.. a Coldplay morning..

Is distress necessary to find happiness?

I was reading an article this morning and this question was asked.. It got me thinking..

Distressful times can fill the mind with sorrowful thoughts, thoughts of better days...days when things were ‘great’ and you were ‘happy’ How you yearn for those days to return, and secretly fear you may never be happy again

Experiences that make us cry, feel sorrow or pain, strip us of our ability to control our emotions the way we’ve become accustomed to. We feel raw and vulnerable, and want to hide away until the feeling passes

Yet, that aside...on an average day, on a scale of 1- 10 how happy are you?
How much do you really enjoy the things you do, the people you're around, your work your love etc. Arguably I would suggest that many people may score quite low… why? Because more often than not people speak to complain, moan, pull faces of distress discomfort and rarely smile( plastic smiles not included) … people complain about their partners, being too fat, that they’re not earning enough and fret about debts.

So, when we look back during times of distress, were those ‘good times’ really as 'good' as we thought?
Why then didn’t we enjoy them more?
Why didn’t we smile more, be more thankful, why did we moan so much?.
Perhaps our painful experiences do teach us happiness. Perhaps they teach us to be thankful, teach us how to love, show us our failings, and help us to grow.

Good morning world..

It's official.
The best time of day is between 5 and 5.30 in the morn. It's so still and quiet, calm, and as it's 'summer' fairly mild in the garden.
I've watched practically every episode of Frasier and still can't get enough of it. Ferguson the Butler with his old English charm! Niles and Daphne.. believe I'll watch the re-run on the plus 1!
Writing these few words on the page before the world I know really begins - everything feels clearer, fresher, purer. I remember staying up all night quite often back in the day and feeling completely energised all day. My need for sleep then was minimal, too excited about life.

I have much to do today, so seems best to get an early start, made a start on a new play last night which defo has legs and will be my 'battery charger' over the weeks

I've actually been awake since about 4am. there used to be a saying that the early bird catches the worm. I think it's more a case of the early bird acquires depth of inspiration, uncluttered by pollutants the mind is reborn, and the soul renewed.
Have a lovely dayx

Wednesday 13 July 2011

Somewhere on the page..

Somewhere on the page
At somepoint in that song
Somehow on that canvas
I know you got me wrong

Like an un-tuned composition
An unstructured symphony
In need of an experienced conductor
To build and to reframe
Manage the tempo
Clear the stained glass windows
Yet maintain their original beauty
the beauty of the ancients

Listen again to the captivating chimes of the bell tower
Wipe the slate clean
Select a new tape
and clear your canvas
For sometime in the past
You will look back
And remember your future as it was – then

Somewhere on the page
Amidst the written word
Is a story that you wish
At sometime
You had heard

I am ..part 1

I’m a rock on the shoreline
A pebble on the beach
A drop of dew on a blade of grass
After dark as the park gates close
And the last visitor has left
I am the mud left on the seat of a swing
A crude chalk outline of a face on the paving

I’m the betting slip that never won
The scrunched up lottery ticket holder of a broken dream
An old dusty car in the garage forecourt
A mound of leaves on an autumn eve

I am the 1st dust on a coffin
The last mourner at a graveside
The 1st cry of a newborn child
The forgotten name of the midwife
You promised never to forget

I am a confiscated item at an airport
A key on a prison guards chain
The childless old couple at the end of a street
Who nobody knew

I am
A broken promise
An overused lie
An embarrassed smile
A story untold
A lost cat
A puppy returned
A decree nisi
A disregarded vow
I am the impossible
Made possible
I am that which I am
I am

I don't know the rules of the game so I don't play...or do I??

Last night I had a conversation about positioning. ( no not like that, that type of positioning that involves having an ulterior motive, an angle)

I wondered if we go through life trying to maintain, uphold, or create a position.. a position that most notably always seems to mean having the upper hand over someone else.
At work, in business, in love
Situations are often manipulated in ways which would could probably have done well to be left alone.

My question is.. can we operate at work, in business, in love without either one?
Without games, large or small - or affiliations to Machiavellian principles..and if so.. why don't we?

Sure positioning and manipulation are different things, yet both involve, A.I.. artificial interference..

Of these two online definitions to manipulate definitely appears more sinister but..
Is it a fantasy to expect things to be any different?

To present participle of po·si·tion (Verb)1. Put or arrange (someone or something) in a particular place or way.

1. To move, arrange, operate, or control by the hands or by mechanical means, especially in a skillful manner: She manipulated the lights to get just the effect she wanted.
2. To influence or manage shrewdly or deviously: He manipulated public opinion in his favor.
3. To tamper with or falsify for personal gain: tried to manipulate stock prices.

I actually rather prefer not knowing the rules of the game for if I did...I may be inclined to play!! (and if I played.. I would be a serious player methinks) plus from what I see, it appears to be a game where are there are no 'winners'
(I will resist the urge to say .. only losers!)

However, like most things in life there is another way to look at things
There's healthy manipulation and positioning, and unhealthy manipulation and positioning
The true art - is knowing which is which, and undeniable mastery of the correct application/s..and those in posession of such a skill/'gift' or 'craft'.. appear to be few and far between

tip - keep it straight -keep it true.. anything else invites confusion and stressx

All about you... my summer song.. damn my everytime song!!

Nite Nite.. my lot loved this tune.. reminds me of them.. makes me smile when I hear it...

and this a big fav... singalong time!!

Tuesday 12 July 2011

Online dating and old fashioned matchmakers

Is online dating really just another name for potential arranged ‘marriages’
Put it this way.. you have a profile- they have a profile – if you like what you read.. you may agree to meet.. sometimes even before you see the person. The bottom line is, you’re both there for the same see if you 2 could become 1...Ahhhh

Arranged marriage...? You have a profile they have a profile – you like?? Bada Boom Bada Bing you’re in ( If your lucky and not forced that is!)

Mate of mine got married in a similar fashion!!. "Hey..I’m tired of being alone you’re tired of being alone – love will grow – let’s seal the a date .. good to go
( the love didn’t grow but that’s another matter!!)

It’s practical I guess. Sometimes it’s easier to be straight up. More and more of us are becoming matchmakers for our friends and family.. and why not?? I've quite enjoyed it in the past.

So which do you prefer.. leaving it to fate? - or clicking for a date?
Let's look at some +s and -s

Pro - Saves time
Con - Takes the romance out of it
Pro - You know what you’re getting
Con - You only know what you’re told( getting to know someone takes time)see Pro-1 .. Confusing eh?? ;)

Pro - You meet lots of potential suitors - more choice( yes we can still call them suitors!! )
Con - You meet lot’s of potential suitors!! (too much candy in the shop) one person may start to merge into another after a while
Pro - Removes the risk of 'game playing'
Con - Some of the biggest 'game players' may be lurking online

I love this song from fiddler on the roof interesting lyrics..great movie.. anyway..

We create our own luck sometimes.. take from that what you will!!

Thinking of fate and destiny ..I found some cool quotes...

"Chance is a word void of sense; nothing can exist without a cause"

"How a person masters his fate is more important than what his fate is".
Karl Wilhelm von Humboldt

"You are the master of your own destiny. Use your strengths well. They are the keys to your destiny and your success in life. Once you know yourself and take action to realize your dreams, you can unlock the doors to your own potential".
Neil Somerville

"You are what your deep driving desire is;
As your deep driving desire is, so is your will;
As your will is so is your deed;
As your deed is so is your destiny".
Maitri Upanishads

"Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Don't give up and don't give in".
Wanda Carter

"The highest destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule".
Albert Einstein

Good night!!x

Sunday 10 July 2011

Man this guy's loyal!!!.. R Murdoch - R Brooks..& Ahhh Babies!!

If so.. can we all have one???
I reckon loads of people wished they had a Murdoch in thier corner..

Christmas isn't far away..perhaps I'll find one in my stocking

On another note.. Mrs Beckham has given birth to a baby girl.. yes I know I don't know her but.. Victoria was always my fav Spice girl.. wonder what she'll call her.. I'm thinking Dawn.. or some variation on the theme!! she looked beautiful at the Royal Wedding

Gotta love the Beckhams..very cool..

Englands greatest football team? aka Football Princesses and 'Stuck' Wedding Rings...

Why is it, that for a nation who loves football as much as we appear to, anytime I see a clip of a match featuring England's female football team the stall/stands are half empty?

Do men not enjoy women's football?
Correct me if I'm wrong but I have a feeling that despite their recent defeat they actually win more games than the guys.. so they may even be the BEST national team we have!!

Is the fact that they don't receive the same or even similar kudos, further evidence that sexism will never leave us?!?

Why do married women who have separated from their husbands, or women who husbands have long left for *whatever reason, still wear their wedding ring?!?

is it further proof that we live in a sexist nation where a woman's status is immediately (oddly) elevated once married, or shock horror, further evidence that we live in a society that still simmers with rage at the thought of an unmarried woman having sex?

What's up people?

'Ballers'..'married' women.. talk to me.. I don't bite :0

*flighty reasons only.. widows not included

Date Nights..

Today's post is basically an endorsement of...(*drum roll please*)..
'Date Nights.

Today is all about making time for your significant other and why it matters.
Life can get very busy and very stressful, and it's easy to forget to make time for others, which sometimes results in couples drifting further apart

So.. as you schedule time for other things.. (like football or cricket, pub. mates.. that kinda thing.. know who you are!!) why not schedule time for your partner?.

It's easy, and need not cost a thing.
Time is one thing thing that if you spend more of it, on it, it never depletes in value.

I found this on the web and although it's dated its quite an impressive list

There really is no excuse for neglecting something so important.. is there?
It's important because if all else fails, your partner is there for you, through good times and hard times, why? because they love you, so when you think about it.. Date night really isn't much to ask .. is it?

Happy SMSx

Friday 8 July 2011

Friday... gonna relax tonight..

One week older about a year wiser – now it’s time to curl up-wrap up warm and cozy Not going out?
Why not select a nice soothing soundtrack – run a nice hot bath.. fill it with scented oils or lavender scented bubble-bath.. hmmm
Light a few candles. Watch as the glow of the flame flickers on your silky smooths

Lay out something soft or cotton cute
Lay back and allow the warmth of the water to engulf you... the lights seduce you, romance and relax you..
The week is over.

Let it all go. It doesn’t matter. Maybe you didn’t achieve all you wanted to maybe you did
Congratulations and commiserations in equal measure
Mulling over disappointment increases disappointment, forget it
The over

Kiss someone
Read a book
Share a plate of food
Watch something on TV
Nurture, trim and buff
Intoxicate a room with your sweet aroma
Splash it or dab a little on your pulse points
Phone a friend
The week is over

It's a 'Get Back Up' Friday.. T.I ft Chris Brown

Wednesday 6 July 2011

What's that clicking on the phone??

The phone tapping scandal gets murkier by the day.
How a newspaper editor cannot know this is taking place I don't know.. does nobody ask journalist's (each other) where they source their information? how do they verify their stories?.. evidence..?

The whole thing is bizarre and seedy..
It's like a house of cards..

Not many people blinked when they heard about Hugh Grant and Sienna Miller, but now,
it's gone too far.. whilst I'm sure tapping may be a useful tool in tackling serious crime.. (breach of human rights? privacy laws?) the lines of police investigation and journalism have inadvertently become very blurred..

Tittle- tattle like a red top day

It's said that if a woman leaves a man yet retains his name chances are she still loves him! after all - wouldn't that be the second thing a fed up woman would wish to be shot of, him being the 1st?

Here is a beautiful woman with her own money , career etc, so what is it about Ash that seems to lure Mrs C.
Can it be that Mr C is absolutely outstanding in the boudoir?
Can it be?
It can't be easy to forgive infidelity. It's embarrassing and disrespectful to say the least. However, managed correctly it's something that can be overcome. Managed correctly that is. Bravado really doesn't cut it guys.. Arrogance and denial that you've even hurt the person is outrageous..and..quite frankly.. a slap in the chops!

However, some old fashioned tears, pleading and outstanding heartrending dusk til dawn lovemaking may.. just may.. pay dividends

They're a handsome couple, if they are making a go of things.. as the red tops suggest.. I wish them all the best.. some of the best relationships are as rocky and temperemental as shit

Whoever said the course of true love never did run smooth may have a point

Tuesday 5 July 2011

Why don't men and women write more love letters?..

During a quick break today, I thought how nice it would be to receive a love letter. I find a good turn of phrase in a man quite endearing. I think we should revive the art of the love letter, post them, hide them discreetly where they may be found, whatever. There are more to words and letter writing than bills, reports, managerial speak, organisational jargon, stats, etc etc.
Words can touch the soul.. free you
Some people struggle to say things in person..
so why not write it??
Sign it or remain anonymous
A short note to begin with for the nervous or shy ..

Yes today..

Write me a love song..
A sonnet a poem
Liken my eyes to precious onyx
The softness of my lips to cotton clouds
Or funfair candy floss
Liken my absence to a gulf in your soul larger than the grand canyon
Your tears more vibrant than Niagara
Sing softly under your breath so only angels can hear the tune
Request they then carry it dutifully to me

Curse every misunderstanding
Bless all that is good
Write slowly, seductively
Empty your mind on the page
Let me read what I cannot see
Touch what I cannot feel
Write me a love song
A sonnet or a poem
Liken me to precious jewels

Monday 4 July 2011

A new day..

I'm sitting here pondering on whether or not to water the garden before total darkness decends.. feeling poetic

okay.. here it is.. an evening thought
The garden wins.. gosh.. I need a few lights out here

A new day
The morning dew
A fresh start
Without hurt or anguish
Disguised as hope
Mimicked by joy
One day passes into another

A new thought
To cast away the old
To replace one idea with another
And hope you never need return
To understand the complex
To bring order to confusion
A new day
Promises much

A new approach
In recognition of a failed attempt
To wipe the slate clean
Etch out a new path
With a smile you look back
Knowing your journey is..
what it is
A new day
Promises much

Sunday 3 July 2011

Demarco ft - Chris Martin Listen ..

Konshens x3...

Fragile.. hoping for a love that endures

Most of you will know that on Sundays I like to write about love or things of a romantic nature.

Well, today I want to share my feelings of a different kind of love. Some people may call it Agape (the love you would have for humanity etc) love or maybe Phila love ( the kind of love you would have for maybe friends and family) either way, it made me think that the type of love that endures is possibly the greatest love of all.

So although the first throws of love may be passionate and romantic, it can fade away. If nurtured well however, hopefully, it will grow into something really concrete. The kind of love that is filled with respect, friendship, understanding, loyalty, and patience. The kind of love that if you're ill and unable to take care of yourself, someone will take care of you. They will be at your hospital bedside to brush your hair, or rub your feet.

There are many reasons why i don't think people are meant to be alone. Solitude is great for refection and thought, to align ones self and take stock. But we are social animals...and reflection wont keep you warm at night.
Neither will it read to you, or comfort you when you're afraid or lonely.

My mother has been unwell. It is whist sitting by her hospital bed I'm reminded of how fragile we are. How vulnerable we are, and how lonely it must be for many people.

It made me realise even more that some of the most valuable qualities that matter for a life partner, are kindness, care, and compassion

Fancy me now.. but love me forever

Some old school reggae memories..

Saturday 2 July 2011

A little version excursion..'Beres' at his best..take care of yourself this bright Saturday morn..have a good one

The walking wounded...

People carry around a whole lot.

Although I know the done thing is to say 'put the past behind you and move on!' (and many people, or at least most I know, say that’s what they do) To be honest, I’m not sure in reality, if anyone is ever really able to do so.

Experiences good and bad stay with us. Painful experiences at times tend to have the biggest impact as they’re the ones that really shake us, shape us, uproot and remould us. You may feel you’ve put something behind you, but given the right circumstances…the right triggers…that ‘thing’ you try so hard to ignore may reappear whether you like it or not!. The person standing before you, or the person you see every day, is a result of their history…their lived experience, but… mostly, they will try and hide it.

So in many ways.. it's a bit of an illusion.

Many will project an image, or persona, that will prevent you from truly seeing the real ‘them’. Which is okay... as it’s a defense mechanism, a protective tool…and to be fair, it’s wise, as it can be self destructive to let ‘just anybody’ into your trusted personal zone.

However, whilst the personal zone should be protected, it should never imprison.
It should never be a chain around your ankles, or noose around your neck. Should never( like a bungee cord) yank you back to the same spot anytime you try to move further away…try to grow. The past whilst ever present, should not prevent you from really living the future you really want. The future of your dreams
Many of us really are the walking wounded.