Thursday 31 October 2013

Warm heart

It's cold out tonight.
This evening I walked past a woman wrapped up in what looked like a few blankets or sleeping bag..sitting huddled between two shops. Perhaps she would be gone by now.. moved on elsewhere.. maybe somewhere warmer.
As I walked past she said to me.. " Hiya babe.. have a nice evening.."
I said.. "You too!"
As soon as I said it.. I felt odd.. although it was an immediate and natural response, her situation made me wonder if what I said was inappropriate.. or just plain stupid.
I was surprised by her 'chirpyness'.. her friendliness.. we just so happen to lock eyes at the same time and smile.. she doesn't know me, but offered her kindness anyway.. with just a few words, that felt to me very sincere..genuine.
I guess we've come to recognize each others faces now..over time

It was nice, so much so that I thought of her again this evening. Wondered how she was.
Most people want and need kindness, a word or gesture, a look or thought. it doesn't cost a thing.. it's priceless.
She made me think anyway.. 'grounded me right up'

Kindness can choose it's own behaviour.. may even look so alien, that we cannot recognize it at first glance.
Perhaps we don't trust it
Like love

Wednesday 30 October 2013

Laura Mvula

Back to work schemes..

The court of appeal today ruled that government 'workfare schemes' are illegal.
It appears that welfare benefit claimants who have had their benefit payments stopped for not working for 'free' may qualify for compensation.

Click here for the story


I thought this was a take on the wizard of Oz.. apparently it's not, but has some cultural significance
I love it more and more as time goes on

Have a nice day

Ti's 1st vid

Is called .. London
Nice job Ti.. esp with no budget and 2 people:)

The power of an ad..

" You hear THAT?.. that's the sound of CLEAN!..
Adverts on cable in the morning are quite engaging. there are three which catch my eye, and draw me in every time

1.The steam cleaner thing - demonstarted by the guy with the Australian accent. - That cleaner is the biz

2. Insanity - the hook is the big reveal.. off comes the shirt and bam' muscles galore.
Day 1- 60. it can happen, no messing

3. Another work- out vid - but an aerobic one.. good music ( tick), cool moves (tick)..and.. bam.. toned body.. strong and firm

love it..
but I really must get ready

A TED Talk - On the habits of boring people

Good morning all x

The paradox of choice.. very true

Tuesday 29 October 2013

Just thinking..

Barely slept a wink last night
So.. now my head aches. Yes.. my head aches
Had a long talk with my 'Frasier Crane' friend tonight.. as I lay in the tub.
It's easy to talk to her as we've shared similar experiences. e.g, We both know what it's like to feel a loss of confidence.. or feel insecure, take a knock, get back up.. feel good..laugh at ourselves.. and our folly. Live..
We have a similar world view, even though we are very different.

When I waver, she is strong, and when she wavers I am strong.. so it's fair to say that we have developed a supportive friendship. She is extrovert to my introvert.
We've known each other since we were 16. She's country and I'm Town. We pretty much know intuitively if we're beginning to grate on each other... which is useful

Tonight one of the topics we touched upon was single parenting. Perhaps because I watched a film yesterday that was insightful, even if a little depressing.. so I wont go into it right now.. at least not until i'm able to articulate my views on the matter, de-personalize it perhaps, look at it objectively, and whether or not this 'phenomina' really does impact on certain communities more than others ( and if so, why) or whether it's simply a sign of the times.
The evolution of the family?.. or not?
surely there is no one answer (if any) and numerous reasons

We spoke about the significance of our generation, and just how little time has passed since colonialism.. only a generation ago, so no time at all really. 1965 being the 1st race relations act in the UK. Is it important to remember this?
Yes, I think so.

Random flashback

The 2nd bass line I ever learnt was Hey Joe.. you see, there's a Jimi Hendrix doc on the BBC.
A Guy called Patrick taught me. He was a big Hendrix fan.. he would have enjoyed this show...he's gone now


Monday 28 October 2013

Stormy weather

I tried to stay awake to monitor the storm, but it turns out that it would hit my neck of the woods .. now.Minutes ago, I watched a huge branch snap off the tree at the back and fall to the side.
had it had fallen in my direction, it would be in my house now.
Luckily no one was walking past
I'm still watching in.. nervously

I can't wait for this breeze to pass..
but once it has.. someone, somewhere will be seeing and hearing from me
(did I mention how huge it is?)

I had a weird dream.. George Clinton turned up chasing us, and had cows udders on his chest ( was part of it)

On the positive side, my garden has never seen so much light.. which should make a big difference

Enjoy your day x

Sunday 27 October 2013

It's a breezy Sunday..

Sunday is upon us, I’m a little late getting it done, but dinner is now cooked. Phew.
One thing I cannot abide (for myself) is cooking late. There is so much to do in a day, even if that includes doing nothing.. than to worry about dinner late in the day

We’ve been warned of a serious storm later on tonight with hurricane force winds. If you do not hear from me after tonight , you may assume the tree I’ve been on at my local council to trim , has toppled over.. and taken me, and the people above me.. out.
I would be seriously annoyed if that were to happen, as I’ve spoken about it many many many many many times.
I have a thing about not being listened too.. It annoys me.. a bit. ( Yes, like most people I suspect)
It's seems solid enough anyway, so hopefully... all will be well.
I love trees, but it's good to keep an eye on them sometimes... they are like people.
Seriously.. they are :)

Ironically... it's very sunny and warm out at the moment..

Over in my world, I'm looking forward to being able to indulge in some retail therapy. Nothing frivolous, but I need a few bits and bobs now, and have been extremely disciplined on that front, for a very long time. Anyway I had a look online and you can be sure, that whenever something caught my eye... I mean really attracted me... it was be priced around the £100 range.
I'm sure my mum would have something to say about that, but in my defence, I spent my formative years watching her cut cloth, and sew garments... so I do like nice quality material, even if I cannot always have it. I am able to recognise it. Hmmm.. I may have to put that on pause awhile longer.

Anyway... aside from me wanting to clear out the racks of Top Shop, some other boutique, and just have a girly day, I've been very busy of late, and have lots of reading to do, so haven't posted much.
But all in all... things are well

A song for Sunday?
Ernest Wilson

Happy Sunday all x.. I need to reason with my tree

Saturday 19 October 2013

in the mood for something acoustic

Spotlight on - the Real McCoy

Really sad news to hear that Felix Dexter has died. He was a very funny man. Very caring also.
I saw him a few times on stage.
I remember once attending an event at an organisation set up to support ex-offenders and he was there, yes he was naturally funny, but he was also serious, thoughtful, smart, and delivered a really great speech
I remember having an intense focus on every word he said. I shall remember that like yesterday.. off stage moments
Felix was a great guy

.. Felix

Friday 18 October 2013

Usher ft Monica

..and then it arrived

Friday evening.
Feels good
Just to be able to relax the mind, chill and de-stress.

Its been a busy week, as busy weeks go, but now.. it's not busy at all

I tend to have a bottle of 'fizzy drink' or two in the house.. mainly in case of emergency for Ti, but it turns out he's been drinking too much on the side. Doc told him if to drink diet fizzy if he really likes the taste, but he cannot drink fizzy drinks for obvious reasons. I've told him this so many times, so was a bit irritated as he's had his levels under control really well for months until now. Still.. he's on top of it now, and he's okay so my irritation has gone. Maybe i'll go back to not having any, they can come in handy.. but may be too tempting.

Its not unusual to like something that not's good for you though is it
Food, drink, people, you name it.

Still..once in a while a little of what you fancy does you good

Tonight I'll opt for a quiet one... to regroup and refocus.. have a laugh at Gavin and Stacey..enjoy a few treats.. catch up on some news, some articles, feel good awhile, and chill

It's Friday
and it's time to be still awhile

Wednesday 16 October 2013

A new day

Exotic in its own way

the weeks are flying by..
sometimes it feels like the more i do, the more i have still to do

But that's okay.
Nice in a way
I pass a bus driver every day on my walk. Once i was deep in thought and he shouted from the cab.. cheer up! he says it every time regardless. It replaces hello. He's so cheery, I look forward to it..and funnily enough, it always.. cheers me up

Bedfordeen beckons

Monday 14 October 2013

Oprah on racism/sexism

A few words from Oprah..

Iyanla has a nice way with words (a quick 3 minute dip in)

A 4th Way

Perhaps as time goes by, we may need a new definition of wealth.. of riches
and an new definition of poverty
Ethical politics
A fourth way.. if you like

Proverbs~ 'Better is the poor man whose ways are upright, than the man of wealth whose ways are not straight'.

To be also rich in soul and spirit - rich in compassion to be rich in love, in addition to financial wealth.. is to be rich indeed

According to Milton Friedeman.. and many others, it can never be that way, (that 4th way).. as people will always seek to serve their self interest
Maybe he was.. and they are.. right
But... we're living that Free market dream now... right?

London's Poverty Profile 2013

According to the New Policy Institute's latest London Poverty profile...

~In the three years to 2011–12 - 2.1 million people in London were in poverty. This 28%
poverty rate is seven percentage points higher than the rest of England.

~Incomes in London are more unequally spread than in any other region.
It contains 16% of the poorest decile of people nationally and 17% in the richest decile

~Now( 2012-13) 57% of adults and children in poverty are in working families.

~At 39%, the private rented sector now has a larger share of people
in poverty than either those in social rent or owner-occupation.

~In 2012 just under 600,000 jobs in London were paid below the London Living Wage
(£8.55 per hour). Over 40% of part-time jobs and 10% of full-time jobs are low paid.

~26% of London households received housing benefit in 2012, a higher proportion
and one that has grown faster than the average for England. Average housing benefit
values are also much higher in London at £134 per week compared to £92 per week
for England. As a result, changes to housing benefit will have had a wider and deeper
impact in London. High housing costs in London and national caps to benefit will make
large parts of London unaffordable to low-income households.

A Wiki definition of poverty
Absolute poverty is defined as the lack of sufficient resources with which to meet basic needs.
Relative poverty defines income or resources in relation to the average. It is concerned with the absence of the material needs to participate fully in accepted daily life.

Is it too simplistic to look at poor families for the solution if they are not the real cause?
Could some addictions and 'problems' within a family be a symptom.. of structural, social, or fiscal inequality .. ...partly misleading

This show wound me up abit

So Is it effective to tackle poverty without tacking inequality?
Should poverty concern us all?.. even if we don't live in poverty ourselves?
Studies have shown that unequal societies suffer the worst crime - the people suffer ill health - anxiety - are often low on social capital - low on trust
The richest ( western democratic) countries it's stated..are the most unequal

Who would you like to meet on the tube?..

Had Ti going on and on past two days about Jay Z on the tube..
'Oh man.. mum JayZ was on the TUBE.. why wasn't I out and about that day?!..
This morning the temperature increased..
'oh mannn!.. Chris Martin was there too!..ohhhhhhhhhhh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!'

Yes, Ti is a bit of a JayZ, Kanye, and Coldplay fan.
Thought i'd wind him up.., who next Rhianna on the bus, chatting to Obama?

To be fair... it's exciting to come across someone you admire when you least expect it.. heck I wouldn't mind bumping into those two on the tube..esp if I was with Ti..he'd love, and I'd love to see his reaction

So it was a Coldplay morning this morning

I like Yellow:)


I once said i'd like to share a taxi with Cornel West.. ( a New York taxi oddly enough) but if not, a black cab would do just fine! who would I like to bump into on the train?
Hmmm.. not sure.. probably still Cornel at the mo to be honest
Or maybe an unknown..who, after I've met them, has the most positive and joyous impact on my life :)

What about you?
Who would you like to bump into on the Tube, or share a cab with?

Sunday 13 October 2013

Sunday revival selection.. Desmond Dekker

lyrics by Desmond Dekker

it make no sense at all to say where you used to work
it make no sense at all to say how much you used to earn
it make no sense at all to say what you used to do

this is the face of fu manchu..

it make no sense at all to say what you used to do
it make no sense at all to say how much you used to earn
is not what you earn that make you a man but is what u keep that make you a man

this is the face of fu manchu..

We're an opinionated lot aren't we :)

I'm not often on Facebook, but this post caught my eye yesterday

The introduction was quite amusing, but I would imagine this is quite a common view.
In the film he says he is a racist, he may well be, but i'ts not clear in this video.
He does seem to lump quite a few points together, and makes ( as I do on my blog from time to time) HUGE sweeping statements.
Is everyone on a council estate on benefits?
Are they really all in bed?
Are they really predominantly British?
Is there really no reason why those 'sleepy heads'.. cannot get up and start a business?
..Why's he not at work? :)

He's appears pro immigration.. (which may only apply to some groups, and only if they own a business) and anti welfare

There's an old saying.. a hungry man is an angry man.. :)

Look in the mirror

Tell me
what do you see
Are you being true
to you
to me
understanding your flaws
not projecting your pain
easy to say
yet time
and time
we fall short
tools we use to explain away the refection we see
one day
within ourselves
and through
Love is the goal
the aim
the destination
the journey, the path, the road
that never

Musings of the day..
and, as always.. a work in progress - Happy Sunday

Spotlight on.. Janet Jackson

Saturday 12 October 2013

Lets slow it down.

My very own Frasier Crane

My friend is now studying the Psychodynamics of human development
I've always enjoyed our chats..
Even more so now.
It's good to be able to discuss , get feedback, about stuff.. life
Men :)

You know.. all the important stuff

Time out & chill

Took a few hours out in the local library today.. and promptly kept nodding off between pages.
I felt sooo relaxed.. and apart from the piercing sounds of the police or ambulance sirens passing by, it was mainly quiet and peaceful.
Home now, and I'll continued on and off, in the appropriate undress, that being home demands.

In a short reflective moment last night, I thought back to this time last year. Emotionally drained, preparing for graduation, and wondering what seeming turmoil I had unwittingly invited into my life. Strange events.. let downs.. you know..the usual/unusual

Looking back now it all seems like a dream.. a million immature light-years ago
No longer walking that particular tightrope things feel different now, peaceful, stable.
and if anyone knows anything about me.. it's that I like balance..and really don't dig erratic

Nothing's all bad, and nothing's all good.. so in looking back I try to keep a sense of balance, to neither castigate, nor romanticize.. but view history through a lens of honesty, and truth, as much as I am able to

I'm often is filled with ups and downs.. what's important is to learn the lessons, move on, and smile.
It's true
I'm optimistic.. I feel okay.. anyway.. feelings change, but the trick (if you can call it that) Is to control them, and not let them control you
All is well..
As love and happiness, have no sell by date

The Voice Holland

I don't know anyone on the panel.. but I know this song..
His tone is spot on..

Bob really was a masterful lyricist..

Sudan:History of a Broken Land

Good morning all..

Thursday 10 October 2013

Home stuff..

I'm so glad it's Friday tomorrow. I am quite knackered having forced myself to battle through feeling pretty rough this week. My body is grateful for a quiet Thursday eve, and the pending weekend.
A screw just fell off my oven door, drat, in fact .. double drat, as i'm a DIY-er screwdriver phobe ( basically , not that great at fixing things) but will now have to find time to do it over the weekend.
( but then I may just ask my oldest son actually)

This weeks meals have been a bit of a sorry mix and match affair.. and the fridge is starting to look a little like a 'Lab'.. but, happy am I that I've managed to get through the week.

I long for some Okra, green bananas, and Trevally.
Then for afters..some home made apple crumble, and custard.
Maybe next week.. all things being well

Attended my Social Justice lecture last night.. felt like I'd returned home. Most of the others in the group are studying Law.
I came away last night really impressed..with lots to ponder on.. again.
Home is where the heart is...

update.. Ti's on to it.. didn't even have to ask

The dreams we have

Woke up with - If I was a carpenter - on mind
and the enjoyed a few other tracks by John Holt. John Holt was hugely popular with many in the generation before me, and then I guess many of my own ( in my home anyway)

I find him a real easy listen.

Had the strangest dream, but I'm glad to have got a decent rest
After I think it over for clarity .. I'll Google it.. check out the dream dictionary and see if any of it makes sense.
A slight queue for the bathroom means i'm watching a little breakfast TV. Just saw a discussion on immigration, where an MP stated that when most people think of immigration they immediately think of someone black , brown, or foreign looking

I would say there's truth to that
the immigration debate is a confused narrative. I'm not sure what the fuss is about, or why the powers that be seem to find it difficult to have a clear point.
If... as it's suggested.. tough on immigration, is seen as a vote winner.. my questions are.. what year are we in?.. and who's votes will it win?
I have a feeling many people see me as an immigrant.. they ask me where i'm from a lot.
But then I am black brown and foreign looking :)
Question.. when does an immigrant stop being an immigrant?

I should be leaving now.. Grrrr i'm getting irritable. Perhaps I'll have another cup of tea
oh.. turns out that running bath is for me after all
Cold/flu be gone

Sunday 6 October 2013

Saturday 5 October 2013

A simple question..on the Welfare State

To paraphrase.. 'any attempt to dismantle the welfare system should cause a national outcry.. but if the process is piecemeal.. it may not be recognized for what it is'
Question.. is welfare reform an honest attempt at improving lives by reducing dependency, or a smash and grab raid on funds set aside/generated to support the most vulnerable?

The sniffles..

Sore throat central.. with a slight cough
The early stages of a cold, have become a cold, so I'm a little lethargic today.
Anyway.. I'll not be venturing too far out today, if at all. In fact.. I feel I'll be bringing a blanket to accompany me on the sofa
I kinda fancy a glass of baileys aka Irish too.. perhaps a cuddle, but hey ho.. I'll let that ride.

Last night I saw a little of American X Factor, and wondered if the lovely Kelly Rowland has had a face lift or nose job or something. Her nose looked a little 'Jacksonesque'.
I wondered very briefly of the pressure to straighten/europeanize, wider or black/African looking noses when fame hits as does the importance to look 'beautiful' to the many and not just the few.

If does exist.. I wondered if that pressure is real or imagined
Having said all that, it may just have simply been make-up techniques
I love Kelly nonetheless.. I just wondered


As a woman rode past me last night, I heard a load snap, looked over to see she'd fallen off her bike.. she rolled over so uncontrollably that both her legs were wide open in the air at one point.. ( in slow motion)
lardamercy.. I checked she was okay (we were the only ones on that stretch of road)
We both agreed she was lucky she wasn't on the main road..
turns out her seat had snapped.. she was shocked, but okay

tell you what.. once it was clear she was really okay and unhurt.. I walked away and left her chatting to a youngster who had come along on his bike..

and I was...

All the way up up the freakin' road..

2013 A few party conferences speeches.. just in case you missed them..

As i did..

I think Ed's speech should have begun in reverse. He had a few lines near the end which would have set the tone for him quickly.. oh.. and the sound technician came in too quickly



Freddie Mcgregor

Friday 4 October 2013

Random thoughts on love

Had some really nice conversations today
Unplanned ones are often the sweetest

My random thoughts on love tonight are..

You can never be sure who you'll fall can often surprise you
Love can feel so scary to some that they erect barriers to block out the very thing they want most
Its worth protecting
It's a way of being
How you express your love.. can be a reflection of not only the love you feel for yourself, but that which you value also
The ability to receive love gracefully is a beautiful thing.. but takes humility
It's worth preparing for.. sort yourself out.. and continue to grow.. learn explore
Openness may be risky.. but we learn to discern
Men also fear they may not be good enough.. just like women. not all of course.. but some
.. and it's okay to admit it
If you can't be yourself with another.. you cheat yourself of a beautiful relationship
Everyone can be annoying at times
If you bad mouth your love to another.. it's bad karma (talk to them)
Hold respect dear.. lose respect.. and it's all over
Your lover should not be your enemy..
But your friend
Trust is essential.. break it.. and you break a special bond
When you can't wait to share special news.. when you look forward to spending your down time with someone..
that's a pretty nice space to be in
It's exciting.. energizing..
soul replenishing..
and worth it

Hope you all had a wonderful Friday!

Wombles.. don't ask

I think they're meant to be environmentalists

Annoying little buggers they were :)
With that catchy little tune that sticks like glue..

the Beat

Alieux asks what's the 1st record you ever bought...

here it is.. *sings* sur-prise...
Bring back Woolworths i say

Thursday 3 October 2013

Is it ever too early...

To tell someone you love them?..
Or for them to say it to you?
A week?, two?..
A month.. A year?
A day?
That was the thought/question posed to me by a friend this evening

When a man tells a woman he loves her after knowing her a few short weeks..
Is it a ploy?
Misuse of a word?
I asked her how she felt..
Uneasy.. was the reply or something to that effect

Surely that's the answer.. I thought
I don't think there's a rule.. it's different for, with,and between, different people
I know for me if it isn't true.. i'd prefer not to hear the very least I'd take it with a pinch of salt perhaps
It's okay to say 'thanks' I guess.. as time will tell
If it's truth, she will know.. even without a word spoken

hey..I don't know.. I'll sleep on it

Wednesday 2 October 2013

Sleep on it..

I have a dilemma.
I had my first class tonight, but struggled a little to connect with the subject matter.
My readings prior to class which I completed, looked at the history of homosexuality in Britain, with stories of 18c brigadiers, rent boys, and Mollys.
The journal articles I found very interesting. They mapped out a very different London to the one I’m accustomed to... memoirs, court cases, scandals etc. A lot of information which explored the ways class and sexuality intersected, not forgetting the historical backdrop to this setting.
All good stuff..
I didn't really feel a connection, or passion for the topic. I'm not intrigued or curious about men having sex with men or women with women... It's just sex, and no big deal really. I wondered.. what I would write about?.
Do I have a voice in this area?

I personally feel that I write best when I have a passion for the topic, I feel I am able to write with more authenticity, more
My dilemma is...
It was only class one.
If I switch options I’d need to do it very fast... like now
However, there are aspects of the subject matter that interests me greatly .. which is why I chose it. I am interested in the ways in which society.. rather the ways that we, socially construct/create gendered bodies. The ways in which my own identity as a woman, impacts on my life.. influences my decisions perhaps, or influences the behaviour of others towards me.
Like race.. class.. or culture..gender is everywhere
Foucault keeps cropping up, and whilst I'm keen to tackle his theories on power... I'm less interested in his views on sexuality.
I'm not sure why
I chose gender to complement elements of my dissertation...
Yet I’m not sure how much of it I will use
My lecturer is very engaging... absolutely great.. so he's able to elicit thoughts, and stoke the imagination

As I sat in class tonight, I questioned many things.
Was I sure I wasn't being homophobic... I asked that question honestly…and the answer was no
Was I running away from engaging with Foucault? hmmm I don’t think so..
I need to discuss with my course administrator
Tonight as I left I felt a little torn...
I just need to clear my mind...
It’s my last option module.. so it means a lot
I'll sort it tomorrow
If when I wake up tomorrow i feel it.. that thing I feel that moves me..then that's all I need
I know it will increase my understanding no doubt ..and it's possible that i'm just a little tierd
I'll sleep on it
I need to apply logic


For me this year is significant..
I'll take things in my stride.. one step at a time.. one day at a time

tell you what though..I'll be happy not to see another cake for awhile

Nai enjoyed her day.. and her cake/s.

According to Ti.. these two symbolize unity.

They are very diifferent, the bee, and the ladybird
but they need each other, they're tight
But I've never seen a bee and a ladybird together I said and smiled
You have now.. he said

I like them very much.. even more so , now that Ti has given them meaning
the aim now.. is to keep them together