Wednesday 30 January 2013

Monster Munch

Okay.. random thought time...
I enjoyed eating Monster Munch as a snack so much last night.. and I admit..tonight that I actually said (in my mind).. what is in this??.. I feel I'm addicted.

I checked it out anyway. It seems Monster Munch really isn't so bad. not too many calories sugars etc.. and .. well it is corn right..?
Well yes.. but then I dug a little deeper and stumbled across this helpful little site, and found out it contains what's known as Disodium 5-ribonucleotide, which is apparently quite harmful, and banned in Australia.
looking further it shows a few other snacks ( walkers crisps)Disodium 5-ribonucleotide is also found in..
all those tasty little snacks I like..

I wonder.. how would they taste without it?

Snack check link

Here the story of a woman who only eats Monster Munch

...and a little history of the snack on Wikipedia

Addiction over.

Pending elections

Headline grabber (caught my attention anyway)
'Zimbabwe has the equivalent of £138 in the public accounts'.

The finance minister :) apparently told journalists this week.

Some would say well... that's your remit.. but lets not get too carried away
Rightly or wrongly this is politics.. this statement comes from the MDC secretary general..this is Zimbabwe's 'power sharing' government, and elections are pending.

News on Zimbabwe has been fairly quiet of late but I suspect..there will be more

To read the article click - here

Created equal - free to choose series- 80's

Tuesday 29 January 2013

Tarrus Riley

Original thought

Tell me.. Is there such a thing as an original thought?
Okay.. think of something ... now Google it.
See what happens.

In truth, there may be... but it’s pretty rare I reckon
It's possible that what may be original is the experience of that thought. Even that is debatable.
Pretty much whatever you think or feel.. someone somewhere has either been there and done that.. or is experiencing ‘it’ at exactly the same time.
Humbling huh

That said, quite often It’s not the message.. but the messenger
The creative nature of the messenger, their organic artistry, their honesty and integrity
So sometimes yeah.. you do meet people who just come across so original
even if the only think they're telling you is how to make pancakes.

Still.. the quest for original thought goes on.. after all.. what did we do before Google.. (how strange is that)and that began with a thought..

Different, can be nice, nothing to fret about at all.

Monday 28 January 2013

Maybe tomorrow..

Long day. finally home now, so time for dinner. ( don't like eating late but that's my fault, I should have taken it with me)
You know.. the more I read.. the more I learn.. the more I realise I didn't know.. or don't know.
Some may say that's a good thing.. that's the whole point of learning, well yes.. I guess.
Its exciting and challenging at the same time.

I realise, just how much of my knowledge I've got from what others have said.
in whatever format that may be.

I'm sitting here now digesting tonight's lecture.
I've got the energy for more.. but I know I also need to get some rest to be honest.
I realise the way some of my thoughts have been shaped many years ago.. and how many of them have gone unchallenged.. until now.

Looking at things more objectively, whilst never truly ever being able to remain totally objective is revealing.
Putting aside pre conceived ideas and really relying on my own 'gut' intuition' and critical thinking is becoming more and more rewarding. a little like recreating the self, and then standing up and saying.. this is me, without fear or apology.
Some may find it boring but..well.. I like it anyway.

Doing the things that you enjoy.. pursing the things that interests you is definitely worth it's weight in gold.
Pushing beyond the boundaries a little.. or a lot, can help us discover the best of who we are .. I think


Is it possible to eat dinner in under 5mins??.. yes!!.. I just did:)
Now.. time for something sweet

Just watching news-night.. Ti says one of the guys in the discussion looks like he's been resurrected from some tomb!.. plonker.. Somali guy..fully robed and wrapped in white..
"looks like a don!".. Ti reckons...
I have to agree.
Oh he's a sociologist and writer .. Dr something.
Interesting talk but I'm a little late

Out and about today I had one lady offer me a history of Haile Selassie. Her grandfather was Jewish Ethiopian.. who could apparently read a text in the Torah that no 'European orthodox Jew' can translate..she said he was a very popular man.. I then got a abridged version of the history of black Jews..
"Google it!" she said
"okay".. I favourite overused word.
I haven't had time today... maybe tomorrow
Later this afternoon.. a pastor.. offered me a few texts to read.. he did make me laugh..I was sure he was south African.. but it turned out he was Nigerian.
Clearly I'm not great at accents

I made him laugh. he asked if I'd ever been married.. "not legally!!".. I said.. he thought it was hilarious I'd be so open with him.
Why not I say. It's all good. That was then.. that's history.

One text/s was Corinthians 12-19 .. about gifts etc.. he then told me to look up a particular psalm ( cant remember which, but it was about the words of mouth and the meditations of thine heart etc) .. I found it and read it..
"oh I can see you know your bible!".. he said
I used to sir.. I used to..
He then told me that by the end of the year I will have decided on two things. Firstly..which church to go to.. and secondly.. who to take for a husband..
Ok sir.. you da boss... :)

He then seemed to go deep into thought.. I made a nice exit :)

He's playing cupid..

Guy was so sweet today.
'She’s a great girl' he says.. and I know for sure she’s really looking for a relationship now... yeah..she’s lovely..etc .. and so it went on

This guy was so excited to be setting up two of his friends it was the sweetest thing to watch
He had clearly observed that they were both in a similar situation, shared the same or similar world view, would make a nice couple and was happy to facilitate.
His enthusiasm was refreshing. This was a grown up adult male (not some little youngster) who clearly hadn't lost his zest for life.
He wants his friends to be happy, it made his day (he said so himself)

Good for him.. hope it works out

That’s how it should be I reckon

oh I was just an observer.. he wasn't talking about me :~)
found it rather charming though

Sunday 27 January 2013


Feels like a Spring Day today.

..however long it lasts.
Regardless of the dilemmas faced in life, some things remain constant, spring will always arrive
Have a lovely and restful day all x

It's not 'benefits'.. it's welfare.. not economic.. but moral

Discussion on welfare cuts, poverty in the UK etc, are quite depressing.
It's become a moral argument, over an economic one. ( morality..the preferred vehicle of distraction)

Politicians leaning to the 'right often argue that it's immoral for people who can work to choose not too, then claim 'benefits'(?!?). those leaning more to the 'left' often argue that if there are no jobs available then it's immoral to penalise and demonise people who need the help the most.

Its quite sad, the smug attitudes of policy makers, far removed from the reality of the lives of many, to continue to pursue policies, that are immoral.
We brag about how democratic we are as a nation, free..multicultural, accepting..
The wonders of the 'free market'.. education.. health
yet we can't get this shit right

Basekou Kouyate

I stumbled across Basekou Kouyate from Mali on the Andrew Marr show this a.m .. unfortunately I missed the interview


A little from Spanish guitarist Niño Josele
Hope you enjoy

Saturday 26 January 2013

Things not to do before bed..

Eat cheese they say..
Have a row.. others say
Another thing may be..
don't watch Trevor McDonald's inside death row series on YouTube... which I did last night.

Not the easiest sleep..

Things to do?
anything that feels good, smells good, and gives a sense of calm.. (not drugs or alcohol)
Read something perhaps?.. ( non scary)
nice music
maybe just enjoy the silence.. or the dimly lit.. or darkness of the room

The list may be endless
but try make it nice

(I bet you bloomin well watch it..)

Brown skin..

When two people fall in love they tend to notice everything about the other person. The colour of their eyes, hair, shape of their face, the way the person moves, tone of voice. Little things matter as sense are heightened.
You love everything thing about them.. right?

Then why is it that in some 'mixed relationships', people say things like..I don't see colour?... ( whilst wearing perfectly colour coordinated clothing)
That's a little like saying, I don't see gender, or I don't see all the things that attracted me to you in the first place.
Is it paranoia?.. denial?.. or perhaps some kind of un-addressed underlying issue with regards to 'race and racism'.
Is it the equivalent of saying I'm not racist?.
Isn't it more 'racist' to attempt to wipe out, or erase visual ethnic difference?

At best it's a silly statement, at worst perhaps a little offensive.

There's nothing wrong in seeing what is clearly there to see
It's the meaning that you infer to what you see.. that may or may not be questionable

They say love is blind.. is it?

Love isn't colour-blind..but it can get to the heart of the matter.. it is the heart of the matter
Difference is okay.. it's okay to notice difference

Then again love of itself is a state of being..
it's we who give meaning to it

Friday 25 January 2013


I can't tell you how knackered I am tonight. Wow.
It really is time to chill.
Enjoyed the longest bubble bath, food on ready, and I may even treat myself to a little Irish
Yes tonight is about feeling good, feeling relaxed, and going with the flow
I more than deserve a feel good night
Its been a busy week, but real nice on many levels.
More please.. and thank the angels

Dawna's Friday song? - Dreamlover - M Carey

Happy Friday! all!

Feeling International this Friday? - Fugee la la remix time

Mums must get tired.. why don't they say?

I was just thinking.. I don't think I've ever heard my mum actually say she's tired.. or even say something as simple as .. I'm going to bed.

When I think about it.. I've only head her say something along the lines of..she's going up Montego Hill.. huh??..where's that then?
My mum's of the can't complain generation..
Me?.. I complain all the bloomin' time :)
Must try harder

Parents can be funny
Still...lack of sleep can make you feel grumpy it's said so....

Thursday 24 January 2013

It's good to talk

Equally it's great to listen

Attended an interesting seminar on women in conflict zones, and later a lively debate on whether capitalism has been good for Africa
lots of food for thought.
It was a great night.. I'm glad I went along.

It's good to talk as it prevents too much navel gazing..
To be open to others views can aid you own understanding is my feeling, plus.. it's fun
People can be very interesting indeed

Speaking of which..

Waiting outside a chicken shop, a woman and her friend complained about the high prices of the shop.. pointing at the poster in the window...

"Look at that... what a bloody rip off" she said ( in a lovely Irish accent)
99p for 4 spicy chicken wings!!"
"come.. mek we go" her mate said.. " lets look elsewhere!!"
WHERE?!? 99p, please tell me where in blazes they'e gonna find cheaper than that??lol..
At the price I'd be asking if it was actually chicken!!
Made me smile though

why do people love chicken so much...

Anyway.. theses are old but still quite interesting and relevant..
Took a look at some earlier

Who the cap fit - Marley

LOVE the intro...

Haven't heard this for years...

Wednesday 23 January 2013

'Africa' on camera

oh man.. I really got wrapped up in the life of the baby turtles this evening.
I didn't intend to watch 'Africa' ..but ended up getting into it.

only 1 in 1000 survive to the ocean..
Awww.. watching them battle on.. one female battled through.. I called her Winnie.. 'gwarn Winnie!' I cried out :)

They can live for so many years when they do make it.. 80yrs.. 100yrs..
Would be nice if people stopped eating them.. they've enough to contend with.

I love the watching the way the footage is captured.. not just this episode but in general..amazing

Right.. a little reading then off to Bedfordshire

Ghost Towns?

High St business rents at £52,000 a year?
A small shop on Bond St.. rent at £350,000 per year?
How are business’s managing to stay afloat?.

More and more people shop online.. Blockbusters felt it..
Shame about Comet, I used to enjoy browsing.. and the odd purchase.
What will the high street look like if more stores close.
Like a ghost town.. one huge Tescos.. or the like? ( not picking on Tescos or anything?
Hey.. remember this?

lol.. my misspent youth..?

Dawna's song of the day - The Script

Love this song.. it's so sweet:)

Tuesday 22 January 2013

Blue Beat

Ft.. Linton Kwesi Johnson - UK based dub poet

Remember this?

About Linton Kwesi Johnson - Wiki..

A generation ago

The Revolution - Hugo Chavez - A documentary

I think a better copy of this may be available elsewhere online but I can't find it. I've watched this before a few years ago during a conflict and development session and the quality was much better. Having said that it's worth a watch. It's a very interesting film. Glad I'm able to see again through fresh eyes

Sunday 20 January 2013

Cuba: Defending socialism resisting imperialism .. documentary

How do we feel..about .. stuff..

There’s a saying that ‘what happens on tour... stays on tour’
Or what goes on abroad stays abroad.
Well... not always.
1st generation migrants did not leave behind their vales, cultures, ideas... good and bad.
Black Africans and Caribbean’s, both of which were under the influence of colonialism, direct and indirect, slavery, had a skewed sense of self with regards to Euro-centricity, inferiority and superiority.
Some say they didn’t know they were black until they came here.
I don’t believe them.
I think they did.
I think what they didn’t know was that black could be the problem it seemed to be .. when they got here.
Sure... on arrival many began to see their dreams were in reality just dreams, and perhaps felt they had been fed a lie in the colonial schools in the country of their birth, and with that realisation... some changed, others didn’t.

For those who didn’t, many tried to pass their ideas onto the next generation and quite a few were faced with rebellion.
Life from a new lens for this new generation... was incompatible with the old colonial survival paradigms of the 1st.
But it gets murky for me.

The more I look at the state of the Caribbean or Africa ( away from the all inclusive resorts etc) the more I feel a sense of embarrassment, and bewilderment.
Both regions are hocked up and under imperialistic mechanisms of one kind or another.
Countries like Nigeria seem a mess to me, money is god and king and must be obtained by any means necessary. The Caribbean and Africa.. (and yes India etc but I’ll leave that region be for a mo) have a colour caste system, which places white at the top, brown or Indian in the middle and black at the lower sphere.
How did that come about?
Wake up people.
We all know. So why do we maintain this stuff?
The sales of skin bleaching in these regions or home -made whitening tools make me shudder.
I don't judge these women or men.. no.. it's just a symptom of a deeper cause.
Some just cant afford to be black in the spaces that they live.
I get that. I may not like it, but I get it.

I also get that these are all tools used to maintain divisions among people.

Media propaganda.
If poor blacks in these spaces link their 'poverty' to their skin colour, or shade they'll have little time to look at the governments or beyond.

They'll just hate themselves.
they'll fight among themselves.

However.. there are many things I still don't get.
Some second generation Caribbean’s and Africans here in the UK, have carried over things that quite frankly should have stopped with their parent’s generation. But no. ..the legacy continues.
For women, I often see and hear the body used as any other commodity. It’s one of the tools to get what you want. Marry out of poverty, or sexual mobility, seems a viable option.. I guess for’s the only option
Sex sells, but it’s not called prostitution. Its called being smart.
Has feminism died?.
Did it ever include black women?.. really

That’s not just an issue in Africa or the Caribbean I know.. but it’s where my interest lies mainly so my focus is there.
Maybe.. It’s me who’s conflicted. Maybe my lens is skewed also.
Can you be born in the UK and not be Eurocentric ?
Yes, I think you can.

Society will continue to progress.. it's natural
But some things linger for a long long time.

'Africa states' - pretty pictures.

British US Chinese corporations in 'Africa'

Debt repayments, foreign 'aid', corruption and greed of elites, my question is.. is 'Africa' in a worst state than ever before?.

Chinese business and military presence in Africa

Aid really isn't 'aid', but a never ending ongoing dependency..and I fear a piggy bank for the greedy to do as they please, cars and homes, cash rich but soul poor.
Neocolonialism has 'Africa' in it's grip.
Colonial 'Africa'fighting for sovereignty...and it suits some people just fine.. inside .. and outside of the continent

With ongoing conflicts in troubled regions, our eyes turn to those who are harmed.. to the war itself. Our eyes become blurred to the economic war, the unequal business deals, the corruption and morally defunct ideology that renders a people poor, jobless, homeless, or landless, in the name of a free market.. neolibralism.

Saturday 19 January 2013

To appreciate

Caught up with a bit of news today... lots of sadness on confusion on to say the least. I limit my viewing anyway, but keep up when possible nonetheless.
Feel quite fortunate to be able to wrap up under a blanket and watch TV awhile. little things like that I sometimes forget to appreciate.

Learning to appreciate more.
Feels good


Watched a bit of take me out.. nice guy came out .. and all the girls turned off their lights!! I was baffled

Irish cream sure warms you up..
Alcoholic beverages go straight to my head.. I'm sure I'm not built for this stuff.. but a little now and then..

Friday 18 January 2013

Dawna's Friday song of the day - Kymani


Ahead of the snow..

Been a busy week. and I'm glad for the pending two day pause.
Gonna hunker down this weekend.
Its probably advisable to make a quick dash to the library at some point today... as the snow seems to be back on its way, and should I be snowed in.. id prefer to have my books with me.
Watching the skys as though we're in a race..

Just gonna relax, go with the flow, and enjoy
Have a nice day

Thursday 17 January 2013

A friend of mine once said...

That I like arrogant men.

No I most certainly do not!!
Still... I thought I’d give it some thought, have fun with this.. and look at a few of the the things I do like..

Spiritually aware or conscious
Socially aware, or at the very least.. interested
A sense of purpose
Emotionally open with the ability to express
A good listener who is thoughtful and kind...
Funny, and fun to be with
An open and loving heart, one not battered or embittered
A willingness to be a better man... or at least keep growing
The ability to say sorry if required
Dependable or reliable
Kind. Not only to me but to others also

Nope... I can’t see arrogant anywhere on this list..

* But I do reserve the right to amend this list any time I like:)

what are some of the things you like?..

Weight - watcher

I have eaten so much today it's almost unreal.

A large Caribbean lunch, rice n peas, fish, pattie, choccy biscuits, tea...
You know why?
The weather..
It's cold.
The weather is sooo cold, and I have a lot on.. mentally.

The harder I think or study, the hungrier I get.
But it's not constant. I have these odd spurts every now and then, and thankfully, the walking will burn off those extra calories.

I'm not really a weight watcher though
Never have been, never will be.
But I am aware of what I put in my mouth .. food wise.. every wise.

I don't think I'll be having dinner tonight..
A light snack if anything

I'm full.

If I wanted to.. I could.

Sometimes it's best to hold your tongue.
As you know if you didn't, you could crush a person quite easily.
Like you'd squash a greenfly.. by mistake.
It's way too easy... (I remind myself of this)

We have a choice to elevate.. or not
Mind , body and soul ...(I remind myself of this also)

As you get older.. you put away childish things

As you mature.. it's not just words on page, it comes from the heart and soul, and is observable by behaviour.
Everything changes.
One would struggle to act in bizarre ways (unless bipolar..perhaps) and think it's okay. You would constantly check yourself.

We are all raised differently.
and how we are raised may significantly impact on our ability to see ourselves as others do. Impact on the way we are. Whether we are grasping jealous pretentious spiteful and insecure... or not.
Yet upbringing alone is not all
As we age we can make choices
root out that which is unappealing, and fix it.

Look deeper.
Easier by choice.. harder by force.
Yes sometimes it's best to hold ones tongue. The truth will always be the truth, fight it or not...
and that's what scary.

never hate what you don't understand, envy what you can't be ( find or explore and develop your uniqueness) Don't deny your own failings.
As like it or not.. it'll be plain for all to see.

Negotiating with terrorists

What are the options.. if any?

Hold out, call their bluff, all out war?

I’ve heard the phrase, 'we don’t negotiate with 'terrorists' many times, but if that really were true, perhaps the incidents of kidnapping wouldn't continue.
Truth is... any dialogue you engage in with so called 'terrorists' (and you will need to engage in some kind of dialogue) will be a form of negotiation.

Whether you are pleading for the lives of your loved ones or employees.
It’s not like a game of poker... or is it?.

I don’t play poker... and I don’t play with people’s lives either.

It’s a hell of a card to play
Check mate.

Wednesday 16 January 2013

Labrinth - Beneath your beautiful



Eros or romance doesn't have to end but quite often it does.

Life kicks in, routine kicks in, and where once, everything seemed lighter and brighter things return to the duller and heavier.
Eros ends in part because people expect it to.
It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

When things are going well, its often called the 'honeymoon period'. 'oh it wont last' they think...'it cant last they say'.. they believe it wont, so it doesn't... and people tend to enjoy being right.

People expect it to end.. or fade away, based on the experiences of others, sometimes on their own past experiences.
Its as if we fear happiness.

Yet, whilst it may lay dormant amidst life’s routine..It doesn't usually take much to revive it.
One person can make a difference, but ultimately, it really does take two.
To appreciate the person you see before you helps. To not become lazy or complacent. To see them as you once saw them.
To love them unconditionally...or not.
To laugh together cry together, support each other surprise each other, thank the gods you've been brought together, and have fun.
It’s always.. a choice.
But don’t blame Eros.
It can lead you to love, but the rest is up to you.

Tuesday 15 January 2013

Restorative Justice

Restorative Justice is designed to give victims of 'crime' the opportunity to confront their 'attackers'..ask questions, get answers, tell their side of the story with regards to the impact the crime had on them.

Its presented as part of the process of healing, forgiveness, understanding, repentance .. a little like the truth and reconciliation commission after apartheid if you will.

There is a saying that for every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction.
That, like many things can be argued, but my point is that often, when we act , we give little thought to the impact our words or actions can have on another.

Possibly because we see others as completely separate from ourselves. Our egos selfish desire to be the most 'important thing ever', prevents us from extending love to others... sometimes.
In that state of being, we are at our most selfish.

During my lecture last night we tried to get to grips with the nature and roots of poverty, war, conflict, capitalism.. class struggles. Other than greed, much of which seems to point in the direction of the desire for separateness. Ironically, without those to exploit, exploiters would cease to be.. yes.. we are all interconnected.

Is it a human trait to conquer, harm, exploit?
There are many aspects to the human psyche, yet without aspiring to to true spiritual enlightenment, without an inner awakening, we will continue to cause pain.
We are responsible.. yet in our blindness.. in our un-awakened state.. irresponsible.

Restorative justice

Truth and Reconcilliation Commision

Monday 14 January 2013

Speaking your truth

Can be difficult at times, but gets easier after a while.
My brother says at 50, he's too old now not too..
Sod that.. as far as he's concerned he's earned the right to speak up. He says the art is knowing when to speak, and when to stay silent (not sure I've mastered that yet)

It gets easier when you feel, or are sure about what you’re saying, and have a strong sense of conviction behind whatever it is.
What can make it appear difficult is worrying about the reaction, reception, or how it may be received by others.
That's when we end up saying one thing... but thinking another.... sometimes

Cozy Nights

Why is it that the bed gets so much warmer and even more cosier... the closer it is to getting up??
Especially when its snowing outside

I'm loving my bed at the moment, it has a certain appeal

Sunday 13 January 2013

Early Sundays

Up around 6am today. Kinda early for a Sunday unless you're working. I felt quite restless with things on my mind, besides, I've got a few journals to flick though.

I'm not tired necessarily but I do feel a little weary ( if that makes sense).. a little blue, which outside of pink and orange happens to be one of my favourite colours.

Why do we complicate things at times?.
It was mentioned in the week that I appear slightly idealistic.
Maybe, but I'm also a realist.

I gave it some thought anyway and now think perhaps the person was right. Yet that shouldn't be a problem right?.

Who wouldn't want the ideal, the best , joy, happiness, contentment, understanding,love blah blah.. when did we stop even trying?.
When did we decide that life is kinda shit, and as it's shit for most people, it means that really is the norm... the way it should be, so accept it and stop dreaming?

I can't do that.
At least I don't want to do that
Perhaps that's why I'm weary.

But some people do have lives like that, so why is it that it's okay for others... yet not okay for me..?
What's different about me?.. somebody tell me..
Am I not deserving too?
Is there a particular mould that I'm supposed to fit, that would make others happy/er?.

Enough already. Enough.
My idealism I'm sure has benefited others over the years. I've tried to support others, be a help not a hindrance, encourage and assist... share a little hope.
But it can be tiring sometimes.

Friday 11 January 2013

Beyond positive thinking

A friend sent this to me this evening.. worth sharing.

It's in the doing

Quite a few years back I read Unlimited Power a Black Choice.
I thought it was an amazing book. filled with NLP techniques, and no nonsense advice on how to create the kind of life you want.

I was quite into NLP at the time, but have since relaxed on that front.
The book itself is aimed at African Americans, and incorporates the fact the the world view, and life experiences for Black people can often be very different with regards to opportunities, starting points, etc. so much so that it can become an internal barrier ( the kind of which Fanon spoke of)

In short it recognises and incorporates techniques to deal with 'culturally specific' challenges. Some may argue all 'they' (Anthony Robbins and Joseph McClendon III) have really done is added the word 'Black' to Robbin's Unlimited Power, but judge for yourself.
It was the book I picked up at the time, and found it worthwhile.
Anyway, enough plugging of a book I no longer have.

As with everything it's not in the reading, but in the doing. Words can bring you to a table, but you've got to feed yourself.

and that's the hard part... trust me.

Les Brown

I do enjoy listening to Les Brown. A great coach and speaker and very very funny.
This is an old video but interesting nonetheless

Thursday 10 January 2013

Is there respect for our elders?

I quite like old people.

Sure I can get a bit squeamish about certain things, but more often than not i really enjoy talking to them, find them quite funny, interesting, and enjoy their company.

I think its a shame that they’re often treated so appallingly.
There are those who are left alone to fend for themselves, struggle to pay bills, and maintain their homes to a standard they may once had been accustomed to.

Many struggle with the pressure of having to deal with ‘officialdom bureaucracy’ and find form filling processes stressful. They are often messed about, and disregarded by those who should know better.
To think that many of them may have lived through the war, fought in the war, suffered the indignity of early migration exclusions, violence, and prejudice; many have raised children, and have a lot to offer.
Forgotten, and disrespected.
Like they’ aint shit’.

As I said, I quite like old people.
So when I see or hear that kind of thing it really annoys me, and I want to jump in and give whoever a piece of my mind.
I’ll be fair and say that yes, some can be rude and annoying,( cant we all?) but still... elders and all that.

Wednesday 9 January 2013

Family Picnics

My sister has decided that she wants us all to have family picnics,
play some rounders, eat some food, laugh and enjoy each others company.
Sounds nice.

Actually, it sounds really nice. been awhile since I've just lay on the grass just enjoying the sun. Perhaps as it's been awhile since we've had sun, so I look forward to that.
I'm sure a little music will nice things up even more

It's something to look forward to.. that and my yearly gardening mission.

This time I've decided to rethink. I'm tempted to turn most of it into an allotment type garden. My mums is like that, but she is a far better gardener than I am.
An area to sit, cook and enjoy, yet a producing garden also.
It's not even Spring, and I'm daydreaming about gardens.

Do you have family picnics, you know with extended family and so on?
Row free ones?

The 'business' of life

I wondered today the ways in which many things are a series of transactions.
Business and contracts.

Question is, does it have to be .. and why?
Do we keep a tally of good deeds done for us by others, and compare them to our own?
Do we give only what and when we receive, or do we bite the bullet and give anyway.
Do we feel used if we give, yet never get back, and if so does that tarnish or ability to continue to be giving?
is generosity of spirit a dying art, or making a resurgence?

Questions questions
Anyway, cup of tea anyone?

Psychiatry - A documentary

I watched this a few weeks ago.
I watched them all, not pleasant at all, but very interesting.
It comes in 10 parts.

I'm not sure who made this, or why, but having had to look at Eugenics recently, I still hadn't made a link to psychiatry, and was still relatively unaware that many of those involved in that school of thought were psychiatrists.

Mental Illness is no joke, people really do suffer terribly.
Abuse and exploitation is a concern .

Who are the Lucifarians?

Perhaps you subscribe to their principles and don't even know.
Depends on where you look, but a basic premise of Lucifarianism is the honour pursuit and respect for carnality, intellectual power, human progress, indulgence, and individuality. Those are the basic basic principles. A fallen angel, embracing the mental and excluding the heart loving light principles.
Rationality without warmth.

Anyone can be if they choose too, and many of us tap in and tap out on occasion. Those of us who are not will feel it. Will feel an uneasy aura, and if on the receiving end may feel rather perplexed.

Tuesday 8 January 2013

Has time Sped Up?

I really does feel as though time has sped up.
A little like sitting in the back of the car, on a motorway, with the windows down. That may be a slight exaggeration, but hopefully you will get the speed of which time appears to be moving. (to me)

I'll try to be at one with it perhaps. Wont try to fight it.

Just go with it.

Sunday 6 January 2013

That Football thing

I'm not really into football any more.
It lost it's appeal for me awhile back.
Having said that.. if asked.. I 'support' Arsenal, and have done since childhood.
I don't follow the game any more though as for me it's become a farce.

Anyway. I know many people do, and I still cast a glance every now and then at what's occurring.
My question is, should black players walk off when they experience racist chants from the crowd?

Personally, I can't understand why 'until recently' they haven't.
Some say.. ahh it's not serious.. it's just a joke etc, but no... I feel they should walk straight off, every single one of them... taking the ball with them.

Clubs whose fans 'misbehave' could face bans.. so why don't they?

I guess because football is big business.
Entertaining as it may be for some, I feel football fans could boycott games if they wanted to. But I guess, it's something to watch. it's sport, and it's not happening to them.

Shame that.

This Britain season: Burning an Illusion (1981)

First feature film by Menelik Shabazz, director of the more recent film 'Lovers Rock'

Girlfriend - "What's all this then..movin' in??
Boyfriend - "I've nowhere to stay
Girlfriend - "Oh no"

This film, unlike the other (Pressure) has a male female relationship focus. I find it quite sad in the main. In fact, ended up quite tearful in places. Odd. It's just a film.

Saturday 5 January 2013

This Britain season: Pressure (1975)

The 1st feature film of it's genre, directed by black brit Horace Ové.
Depicting the experience of a young 16 year old 2nd generation Black British boy.
Set in Ladbroke Grove, West London, an area with a large Caribbean population since the 1950s, Pressure explores the assimilation (or otherwise) of Caribbean people into British society
All part and parcel of my current study.
Tell you what.. I don't think it was meant to be necessarily.. but this film sure is funny in parts.

"Oh gawd!!.. after I cook all this food the boy going down di road to buy fish and chips!!.. Toe-nee.. Toe-nee.. you have money fi fish and chips?

Was never a 'lovers rock' kinda girl

My previous post may have given the impression I'm not keen on lovers rock.
But...anyone who reads my blog often should know by now that my taste does vary abit.
For the record.. I do like it.
I'm not big on lovers rock.. but I'm not small on it either.. it is what it is.

The 'thing' with lovers rock for me was less about the music...actually, it had very little to do with the music, in fact.. nothing, but rather what seemed to 'surround' it. At it's previous heights, what seemed to develop was a particular way of being.. an emptiness.. which at the time, bored me senseless.
Ladies with perms of one kind or another, men with little more to say than the ladies.. it was a little twee for me.

As I've mentioned, the music was fine.. but for some reason it seemed to zap the fire from the people who listened to it.
As though a part of them was awol..

A very 'permanent middled aged way of being'
I can dip in, and dip out.

I was never gonna be that girl

Yet to be fair, and on observation, every genre of music seems to impact on us as listeners in quite profound ways. Whether it's how we dress, speak, think, or behave.
Whether that music is reggae, classical, rock, indie, whatever....
Because music.... has great (metaphysical) power and influence

It's power and influence can often go unnoticed to it's listener.
Ever wonder why you feel angry or just plain pissed off in the car?
Check what you're listening to.
Turn that shit off.
Chances are the bpm is off the chain and your heart is racing faster than a fox in the country on hunt day.


A J.K classic.
I need to go paint my nails :)

'Babylon' Vs Rasta

Did Babylon trump Rasta?

The visual emergence of Rasta’s in the 1970s in the U.K marked a transition in black British identity... marked in part by its difference to 1st generation immigrants to Britain.
It was a turning point.

In response to social and instituaitional racism, divisive policies, struggles with policing and denials of rights ect, many 2nd generation British 'blacks' begun to carve out a new identity.
Add to that, the global struggles for independence of former colonies, and it was an interesting time historically.

Whilst Rasta’s may have been distinguishable with the wearing of locks etc, many others identified with its basic premise but preferred to remain less visual, nevertheless, it’s arguable that 'Rasta' had one of the biggest impacts in the UK in terms of cultures of resistance, and a new way of being.
In music, those who couldn't handle the more militant stance or teachings of Rastafari may have opted for the softer more apologetic 'lovers rock' but let's face it, without Rasta.. there would have been no U.K lovers rock.

Who can say that Rasta (directly or indirectly) has not impacted on them in some way?..

A high price to pay?
Round 1

Rasta’s were ostracized. They found it difficult to gain employment, and were increasingly marginalized. Whilst we can argue that marginalisation was one of the building blocks to its appeal... the battle was on.
'Babylon' (oppressive immoral government policies, lack of virtue and the promotion of cash greed and the ungodly over a purer existence, individual and plural ... in short... fuckery...) verses Rasta.
Many black youths ‘messed up’ by the education system at the time, ultimately left school without qualifications and found it harder to find work, and those who appeared unwilling to assimilate and accept British ethnocentric ideas, were always to have a hard time.
Yet why didn’t Rasta’s fight back?.
Why are there few Rasta men in offices? or working in banks or business?
Why? Because they were told no, and they accepted it.

The women however did work, humbly becoming the matriarch at home, earning some men the unfavourable image of 'living off their women'.
True or false, that is not good for a man’s self esteem.

Round 2
I'm everywhere.. even your best friend will choose me in the end

Rasta’s saw ‘Babylon’ as the great corrupt monolith that will undoubtedly fall... collapsing into itself in a shameful heap.
Yet, it hasn’t happened yet.

‘Babylon’ may indeed be its own downfall, yet that cannot cloud the fact that Rasta's were knocked out by about the 2nd round... and sadly... very few were in their corner with a towel or water (Even those they supported, or thought they were struggling for)
Rasta could have provided a huge benefit to many employers...
Yet it didn’t happen
Rasta got lost in symbolism, and essentialist notions of what it is to be Rasta took over. Losing itself.. within itself.

One question to ask is did Rasta’s secretly fear Babylon, or honesty detest it.
Yet... I'm reminded that this is not a sprint.

Indeed, ‘Babylon' is not in great shape, and many ideas adopted by Rasta have been since adopted by many others.. as increasingly people begin to focus on livity ( aspiring to a higher way of being way of life).

Ital food, has been given the lovely bourgeoisie sounding term... ‘organic’.. or ‘healthy eating’ tweak.. More and more people want to grow their own, reggae music sells a few cars, and politicians may or may not chill out with’s all good though.
We learn as we go along.
We may history every day.
Rasta’s biggest mistake may have been to opt out.. either that.. or their smartest move.

We await round 3

Friday 4 January 2013

Little man

Little man is four today.

He's so cute.
"Are you coming nanny?"
"Yes bubba"
When I got there he showed me his new toy
"What's that?" I asked
"It's an IPad!!"

The minds of the young are no joke.. their brains able to process information at serious speed.. impressive.

How things have changed...I remember getting excited over comics..

These were my favs
ps.. It wasn't an Ipad -Ipad, but a toy.. as far as he was concerned though.. It was an Ipad.

Thursday 3 January 2013

Does size matter?

Well apparently it does.

A certain London council are considering docking benefit payments paid to people who are obese.. unless... they attend the gym.
A reporter interviewed a number of ( fat) people to find out what they thought, and all but one, thought the idea outragious.
'what an affront!!'

Before I get to that..I have a gripe.
Now, I've lost count of the number of times a large/larger person has walked up to me, or at the start of a conversation said...
" God!!.. you're so tall!!".. ( I'm not, at 5ft 8, I'd say I was average, just have long legs) still more importantly... "God!!".. they say.. "you're so skinnyyyyyyyy!!!"

This is often met with amusement of anyone else around, but is it funny?.. really?

Okay.. well try this..
If I walked up to a fat person and said.. "God you're so FAT!!!! ' chances are they'd feel absolutely horrified at my apparent lack of sensitivity, and rudeness.. cry into their cookies, and any onlookers may offer me a range of dirty looks.

Sizeist 'mo fo's'

So .. how did I feel about the fat tax..?

My gripe aside, I think the council are assuming that all fat people are fat for the same reason.. they eat more than they exercise. yet in reality that's not always the case. Some may ( genuinely) have a health condition, it may be hereditary, and then yes, some may just simply eat more calories than they burn
( not sure the big boned theory can fly any more)

I'd also just quickly point out that prisoners with drug additions who dont attend rehab, could be in breach of their licence, and technically, get sent back to prison. besides.. it's good that they get the help no?

So what next...? should wives and girlfrineds penalize(yay) boyfriends and husbands ( some may be lucky enough to have both) if they're not well hung enough?...
Should husbands or boyfriends ( yeah okay the same...) chest.. ( I mean just) decide not to contribute financially if their other halves have small breasts?..

Hmmmm.. that particular (fatiss) think tank, may need to think again

Doesn't carry weight

Oh... Happy New Year x