Sunday 28 February 2016

You are beautiful.. yes you reading this..:)

I've become aware of some amazingly positive people lately, and I've noticed that the people who tend to be happiest..all have that in common.

One of the things I've noticed about Sierra leonians for example, is thier ability to be positive, regardless of the circumstances.
In the main, many tend to embrace a desire to be the skin they're in, and appreciate what they have.

This is true of many people of course, around the globe, but I guess with the country in my focus tonight, I've been observing the people and customs more closely.
Initially I wondered if it was due to post conflict attitudes of peace reconciliation hope forgiveness and love. But perhaps not, perhaps I was looking at it way too deeply.

Maybe they, like many others simply feel that the key to happiness and prosperity.. be joyful.

Here in the UK we give praise to others yes... But one cultural custom that I find here that I don't find often in the people of SL is that we in the UK shy away from praise, a little.. we (especially us women) tend to have that... 'what?...this old dress?..' syndrome.
Not the case in SL.
It appears to be us women who mostly shy away from compliments, and yes there's a cute humbleness about it, but why do we sometimes find it so hard to accept a kind word?
And by not training ourselves to accept compliments more readily..I suspect that we're probably not doing ourselves any favours.
(Being careful of course not to become dependant on them, as to fall apart in their absence)

I do wonder though..if it's predominantly a UK thing, as in the Carribean they tend to have a..'I know I'm hot' attitude.. and enjoy praise.
(They can give an insult or too mind you, but it's a rich mix and not taken too seriously)
Funnily enough, I've received a few kind words lately that took me by surprise, but really were perfectly timed...( universe knows best) I really appreciated them...far more than the strangers will ever know.

I give compliments, not often, but I do. I'll try to give more..shake off my shy 'English' reserve a little.
Shake off my 'conditioning' and learn more appreciation.. of myself..and others.
It sounds easy, but it may not it takes change old habits
Often .We are our toughest critics.. looking in the mirror and seeing what we may decide are 'imperfections'
(Not everyone I know)

Yet ultimately, regardless of what anyone has to say.. let the mantra be...

Loving the skin I'm in..
The person I am..
The love I have..
..and for that each day I'm truly grateful x.

I'll give it a try.. maybe my mojos been lurking in that vacinity.

Saturday 27 February 2016

Shades of blue

I'm really missing my brother today. This evening.

It just dawned on me tonight how much things have changed. I hadn't realized just how reclusive id become either.

I spend a lot of time in my room. Everyone else had noticed ..but me.

I listen to music still for sure, but in bursts. Not so much in the front room as I used to.

I really need to get out of the funk but I don't know how tbh. It comes and goes. Some days I'm okay...other days I'm not so much

Irish cream hasn't helped as I thought it would either.
I've tried subconsciously perhaps to use other things as distractions..I've found some great videos on YouTube which help abit. I feel like I need help to deal with my feelings but I know that my feelings are my own and as a result only I can master them. I kinda ran away, and the desire to keep running remains, but I also just want to get back to being me. Happy go lucky me ( if I ever was:)
Yet every so often I get stuck.

I've realized for awhile I've been feeling "blue'.. and also kinda lonely (in a way)..despite the fact that I'm not alone (which I'm grateful for)
But what shook me a bit today was my friend called to invite me to an event about the history of sound systems in the UK..reggae vinyl sale , all sorts.. and I declined. It was 5 minutes away from my home, yet I declined.. and did nothing instead.
That... says alot.
If anyone has seen my missing mojo let me know.. as I really need it back.
The event sounded why didn't I go...

I need to build new routines, New habits that help.. Not hinder.
Get 'unstuck'.

Everyone else is fine which is great also. I miss Mr K a lot right now, what with the Atlantic an all.. so all in all.. I guess I hadn't realized what grieving was..
I was told that's me.
I've tried to avoid it.. but sometimes I just miss my bro.
That's all.

Thursday 25 February 2016

Did someone say..bed bed bed..?

..and I could use a hot water bottle!. ( I've heard they can be quite soothing)

Fortunately someone else is doing dinner..sweet girl. So I can have a night off..
Yes..long day, but good..and productive non the less.. now...I have a day to recuperate

minus a h.w.b.

Happy days.. thank god x :)

Thursday music treat - Nikki Laoye Ft Banky W - Onyeuwaoma

"...Spice me like curry"...

Enjoying those food references again..

I really like this song actually, came across it when checking out Banky W's new stuff.
I was pleased, as the melodies and instrumentality is really cool
Takes you far away.( At least it took me...) especially as I was checking out the cost of flight tickets to Senegal at the same time
Itchy feet and all that... seriously.
Can I?.. Will I?..
I feel I need to recharge..refocus..soulful inspiration an all that
Do me

Funny day yesterday.. melancholic.
There you go.
What can I say.
Other than...

Good morning x

Sunday 21 February 2016

R Kelly..Its all my fault & Backyard Party

Once upon a time I came across an R Kelly album, then another... then another.. a fav being 'R '( 'did you ever think'.. when a woman's fed up'.. great tracks!...)
many years later he still manages to captivate my ears with a tune or two that's just sooo R Kelly

'It's a my fault'.. yes guys..that'll end any argument pronto :)

What can you say... R Kelly has big partys... 'Snoop'

Saturday 20 February 2016

Chilling out this Saturday with...Wizboyy - Chigeji

..and how is everybody?
Feels like its been awhile, don't ask me why but I guess i've been abit busy lately what with one thing or another.
I feel a blogging break coming on while I work on a few things
But, I'll let you know i'm sure

Cool Saturday though pretty mild in temp..... peaceful and quiet

Its also been awhile since I've checked out Wizboyy..
I'm glad I did

1st track out the box, suits me fine

No video , just a great track
Happy Saturday x

Tuesday 9 February 2016

BBC HARDtalk FGM discussion:ft Dr Fuambai Ahmadu & Nimco Ali.

Stanley Enow ft. Ice Prince - Yours

His gift to her, that she really didn't want - ft Tarrus Riley Jah Jah run things

There are many things I care about
and some events that occur in life that I shake my head in frustration at
Tales that knock from time to time.. to say hi....

As many of you know.....
Domestic violence is no joke.
Any society that does little to combat the abuse of women at the hands of a man ( or men) is a backward society that will fail fail fail, and NEVER rise to its full potential.

That patriarchal and brutal type of thinking is backward and base, yet unfortunately is backed up by many 'religions' who subscribe to women being subservient to men.

Yet patriarchy doesn't have to mean abuse.
No really... it doesn't.
Patriarchy itself... is being made a mockery of, and is, quite frankly, being abused In truth, patriarchy carries with it great responsibility and moral 'authority' which isn't something for the unprepared, or the mentally and/or emotionally immature.

For those who still don't know...
Women are not to be punched kicked raped spat on stoned or beaten, and any man who does that is not a man but an unevolved beast, and deserves no respect from society.
Men who beat women children and girls to death, should be given the hardest of punishments, sure, yet also need re-schooling and rehabilitation... immediately.
They need to un-learn, what they have learnt with regards to the value of a woman.
Sure there are courts to review each case before judgement, to ascertain for example the state of mind, influence of drugs etc, but I'm going general on this one.

Some say that gender based violence on women is a collaborative act, that it takes a degree of 'acceptance' from the woman
That is something to debate perhaps, but not today

There are men who would stand by and watch a woman be beaten, and instead of reprimanding the man, would rather take the beaten woman aside and tell her where she has gone wrong and what she must not do in future, to anger her husband.
( Women do that too)

So why stay?
Some women stay for love, others because they have no money or nowhere to go
The ability to tackle domestic violence, to stay or go, depends a great deal on where in the world you live, and how egalitarian the society is, or strives to be.

There are those who believe that once married, a 'complaining' woman would only bring shame by leaving her husband or discussing to others, his ill treatment towards her
Others think that once any kind of 'bride price' is paid that's it. A licence to do as they please.
Others can't even afford da blasted 'bride price' and are just plain rude
If you do one thing today, if you know of any idiot that still believes that type of behaviour is acceptable, (If you're in a position to) let them know ..
It is not.

Men hit women for one reason. They want to hurt them badly, they don't care, and they believe their need is greater than the women they abuse.
At the basis of most domestic violence is the fundamental core belief that women ...just aint shit.

If our state flags were lowered every time a woman was hit in our respective countries trust me.. that flag would never raise.

Maybe we should try that... lower the flags and see

Cold heart Riddim - Various Artists ft Busy Signal & Christopher Martin

more lovers treats...Busy Signal - Don't Wanna Lose You

Sunday 7 February 2016

Weekend WOW Factor 2: | as Valentine approaches - Ask A Black Man | MadameNoire

Dr Umar on love and sex

Sample the cookie before you buy?
Oh dear.. I guess if you've had alot of cookies you'll develop a preference
I like masculine men.. Not arrogant, but have 'some swag'.. and/or a very good brain
Funny thing is that masculine thing can be sooooooo annoying at times! :)

This was interesting too. It always takes me awhile with Dr Umah cause he says things that wind me up... but he has some good points too..
'Almost divorced'... that's a good one....

He's off key about the lesbianism thing.. maybe some but its offensive to say its a psychological 'issue'.
Funnily enough... lots of men.. like to watch women together
Is that an 'issue'

lol... having watched more...this is not a romantic video at all... lardamercy!

Oh well.. balance an all.. ying and yang.. a libran thing..

Quote - 'The vagina of a black women is a back route to her unconscious mind...'

Now.... I know you aint gonna hear another statement like that all week and if you do... holla at me.. abeg lol!

Weekend WOW Factor 1: as Valentines day is just around the corner

I love love, sex romance and all that nice stuff
My Libran persona.. Venus an all

This was interesting
I've definitely dated a toxic person or two.
I've also dodged a bullet or two as well.

I have always been uncomfortable with anyone who becomes defensive patronizing or bitter about a personal achievement.
For example I allowed ( in the past) a person to dominate the conversation etc, mainly because I could tell that the person needed to speak and perhaps didn't have an outlet anywhere else.
I can also be a good listener at times.
He was odd. :)
But he had his good points.. as we all do.

What I resonated with in the 1st video, is that personally, in past relationships I've never really been able to speak about my successes or ambitions without the other person trying to put it down.
So.. I stopped talking about them. Stopped talking about things I was proud of, things I enjoyed, aimed for intended to do.. because I knew that if I did, it couldn't be met with enthusiasm.Just 'man bad mind'
Ill say this... the toxic thing isn't just about romantic relationships. This could relate to anyone you relate to...

So what do you do in a situation like that?
I think to back off.. is probably the best course of action
Discussing the matter with the person is another option, because its also possible that they are unaware, and really don't mean to hurt but are feeling scared or insecure themselves and are simply projecting

Talking can help
But ultimately it's helpful to remember that if someone is belittling your achievements on an on going basis, it says more about them than you
be proud of what you achieve, back away from harmful critics, and be your best cheerleader.


This was so funny!

What makes you quirky or crazy?
Quirky would be If I'm at home, I have to watch come dine or dinner date when I eat don't care what channel you have it on don't play with me. Oh, and... don't sit in my chair, and oh my gosh if you don't hoover be prepared to hear some bad F word or two and if I have to pick up the hoover and do it myself.. I will cuss the house down until I'm done... and then. I'm happy as larry. Cool as if nothing ever happened:)

Hmmm.. Oh wait...maybe that's crazy... who knew...

I quite like Matthew Hussey.. Interesting name given what he does.. but hey.. he's kinda cute funny, and can be on point


Saturday 6 February 2016

The art of self motivation...

Numerous books have been written on it. Ask people what motivates them and the answers can be surprising.

Many people are motivated by fear... Others love...
But I know people who just seem to have the knack of unquestionable permanent self motivation
How cool is that huh...
They are a joy, and a blessing to be around
It rises and falls.

Saturdays are usually my clear up days. A day for housework..doing the washing, that kinda thing. And today is no different, other than, I've gone back to bed!.
Motivation. Where art thou..

Oopps.. there it is...right- over- there... maybe if I stretch I can grab it by the tail...

I know some music will do the trick.. get the vibes flowing...There's just do much to do!. So..I've been practicing best ostrich impression. Not for long though.

Bed...It's where I get some of my best ideas on occasion :)..I can think, plan..and, once enough is enough..get a move on

I've had a news break-ish, so a little catching up is due.

Some personal tlc also due
So...activating countdown in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Happy Saturday all x
Sexy is as sexy feels
Beauty is as beauty does
Happiness is in the mind
If some say it can't be done..and you feel it can, do a gift


Friday 5 February 2016

The Potters Wheel

I've been enjoying reading motivational quotes on my phone lately. So much truth in so few words.
In truth, I'm not feeling as chirpy as I would like what with the flu an all, but it's my fault really, Ive done little to bannish it. Plus I really must learn not to take on other people's stress. Help if possible, but if not leave it be. We all have our own stuff dealing with.
See stress but try not to own it.. even your own...

Clay...Is what I thought about today. Clay.
Often we may see potential in others and begin to mentally mould them, shape them, create an image of them as their best self.
We see them bigger brighter and better than they see themselves at times.. we may revel in their awesomeness

Clay.. can become anything. It has little resistance, and in the hands of a skilled craftsman..can become something very beautiful indeed.

We are both the clay, and the craftsman, in each other's lives
We create and shape, equally we are created, and moulded

How beautiful we become depends on the vision.. and will always remain in the eye of the potter

Have a lovely,great, happy fulfilled and content weekend..doing whatever you do x

Kiss Daniel x Wizkid | Good Time

Friday fever
Good times are definitely welcome after a week of coughing and shivering both day and night ( more night than day)
Fortunately, I'm beginning to see the back of the pesky flu and should be back on form soon enough.
Ted Cruz looks like an actor whose name escapes me. ( a comedian?)
Let me know if you know who I mean... optimistic are the American people that a change of President will alter the overall American imperialist agenda ( if indeed you believe that's what it is of course)

As a non American, one of the things that stood out for me with the election of Barack Obama was just how many people associate 'black' with cool.. honest.. 'heartical'.. caring and decent ( total opposite of the overused negative word associations. It wasn't said of course.. but trust me.. what was un-said came across loud and clear)

For many black Americans Obama's success felt like the 'realisation of Martin Luther Kings 'dream'
'here comes a man... that looks like me (a bit) .. he gets me ( and he will do his best for people like me)'

Now as much as I understand the reasoning... it's just so terribly flawed.
Whoever gets the top seat gets the seat.
Politics is brutal ( 'he gets me'.. really doesn't cut it in the political arena past election day.. )
Politics such as a global affair
Presidents are merely symbolic.. vehicles for elite ideology
Presidents don't run America
Or so it seems.

Feel free to tell me if you think otherwise

Happy Fridayx

LAJ - Fraid We

Quite like this from LAJ
Nice beat - easy. Works well