Saturday 29 September 2012

Star signs..being Libra.. ft Joe

It’s said that Librans tend to be very indecisive people, unable to make a decision, with a predisposition to sit on the fence.. a-lot. From my own perspective I think there may be some truth to that (even that statement is quite non committal). However, I’m much better than I used to be. In fact I can make decisions very quickly now... Sometimes.
It’s also often said that Librans are lovers of partnerships, live for relationships, beautiful elegant things, and adore harmony. Apparently, we can be charming, if a little flighty, diplomatic, lazy, intelligent, romantic, too easy going, and shallow.
Looking as I did at the range of character and personality traits the list is very long indeed, but I can relate to most.

Star signs interest me in that people do (in my opinion) appear to have the traits their star signs suggest (When I look it up). What I don’t agree with so much is when it’s stated that a particular star sign cannot get along with another. I think it’s more about understanding an individual and working with what you've got, learning about yourself, what works for you and what doesn't. Caring enough perhaps, to recognise what make another person tick... or not... also helps.
Still, I'm a star sign novice compared to others I know.

I get along with, and often feel an affinity with other Librans in the main. I find them funny and creative, chatty (at times) and emotional (often wearing their heart on their sleeve) even though they try to hide it!...but not always... as we can also be annoying.
That’s the thing about star signs... we can... all of us... express any of those traits at any time. What I wonder is what has more influence... our star sign? ..or our upbringing /conditioning/environment.
This post really wasn't intended to be about star signs. I really wanted to talk about Joe.
Joe’s star sign is Cancer. That really means nothing to me, (shallow)... all I know is he sings some really lovely songs, and is pretty much my favourite Rnb singer..

Dawna's song of the day..One love.. Noel Gourdin

I really like this song... it's so sweet.

Spoonful of sugar

Needed a night out, take in some live music.. Teedra was just the ticket.. great band.. supporting artist Noel Gourdin was pretty cool too.
Enjoy. Happy Saturday

Friday 28 September 2012

Pre birthday blues

I’m not in a good mood today.
By far I’m more fed up than in a ‘bad’ mood... more like sad mood. I woke up and it felt extremely cold... it was cold... despite my duvet... despite my bears.
Same old same old may sum up my mood, in that I’m tired of the same old same old.
Whether that be thought, word, or action.

It’s approaching winter, and like the winter before it, I’m beginning to get the feeling of deja vous. I love the sights and sounds, even the movies...but I fucking hate Christmas.
There.. I said it.

Thursday 27 September 2012

Mirror me?

It’s easy sometimes to see in others the things we don’t like about ourselves. Things that wind us up 'big time', but ultimately give us an opportunity to ‘fix’ ourselves, or make changes we may really need to make within ourselves.

It reminds me of that old saying.. do onto others..ect.
We are often a mirror to each other, perhaps not always, but sometimes.

I have noticed that when I try to avoid dealing with something it tends to come back to me.. so I’m trying to deal with things a little more promptly, face things a little more, and procrastinate less.. 'deal with' things including those negative emotions that can be a little unappealing, or unnerving.. things that may make us feel a little exposed or vulnerable.
However, I think that if we recognise something in another which we don’t quite like or enjoy, it doesn’t mean that we necessarily have the same issue ( it’s not as straight forward as that) .. I think it may mean that we need to develop an aspect of ourselves, which could be courage, assertiveness, self esteem/belief, or compassion... it really depends... the list is probably endless.

I think it’s only by being honest, and true to ourselves will we really know what the lesson is... an until we get it.. It may simply return ...over ... and over.

Sunday 23 September 2012

Is my ego bigger than my bank balance?

I was raised with the belief I was the best thing since sliced bread. (Not in an arrogant way.. just a matter of fact way really.. I mean .. of course right, why not?)
Must have been.
I believe it came mainly from my dad, although I’m sure my mum also...although my mum is a very...('never think yourself better than anyone else') kind of person.. (judge not unless you walk a mile in their shoes')... etc)
Anyway...Observing them, I noticed that they never envied anyone, anything, were self sustaining, content attractive people.

Looking back, I’d say my parents didn’t really have much money, yet ( other than a red Chopper bike) I never really wanted for anything, and if they were in fact short of funds.. It didn't appear to have much impact. I remember the metre man,the paraffin man and green shield stamps.. but to a child (at least to me) back then those things were exciting.
I had my parents, brothers, sister, and neighbourhood friends.
My sister read to me a lot, and sometimes my dad.
So I have never equated money, to happiness, or self worth.

If I do so now, its because of societal pressure ( a shift in the consciousness of the many)
Great quality perhaps?...hmm yes... but it’s not all holy.

You see.. fact is..having an ego bigger than your bank balance is thwart with problems.
I live as though I have an unlimited supply, although I’ve been told I live a very frugal life.
My mother called me a WAG a few weeks back (not sure she realises its a 'ballers wife or girlfriend and I aint dating no footballer!)and said i'd never change.
So I obviously give her the impression I’m too lavish...and give another the impression I’m not lavish enough

Yet I’m neither... possibly now.. closer to the latter. ( my mother perhaps thinking of a previous time)
I think as I said earlier, because (in my mind anyway) my self worth is not attached to my financial wealth so to speak, I’m actually quite happy most of the time, until reality bites, I face a problem. or someone tells me I should be as miserable as fuck.
I have a relatively strong inner, core (although permeable at times.. which I like)

But as my ‘Princess’ lifestyle shifts further and further into the distance the question is... will my ego notice?.

Working things out on the page..

The temptation to live in the past, or the future, tends to happen if the present doesn’t seem to crack up to much.

Seen as a stop gap in many ways, from that viewpoint, we overlook the fact that the present always becomes the past, and ironically, when we look back its often with fondness.

So why cant we appreciate things at the time we experience them?

Sure.. living in the now can be okay. In fact, it may be the best way to get by, but it’s sometimes hard to do because we are intellectual and emotional beings,an amalgamation of our past experiences...our hopes or future aspirations.
Living in the now, would mean having to be honest with yourself about a great many things, and accepting and understanding ‘the now’.

Okay...we’re often told that living in the now is acceptance, and I was once told that if you accept something you should never complain about it, yet our history is littered with stories of people who refused to accept a situation and brought about change... improvements to their lives if you will ( and the lives of others). Their ‘now’, was to fight for a better un-acceptance of what they had, in the knowledge that they had a right to, and as human beings deserved more. I guess I’m thinking about the civil rights era ( and similar struggles) But it’s applies to much more does it not?
So maybe its not really about acceptance so much as living in truth.

Living in truth means knowing and accepting who you are... perhaps even an alignment of thought and action.. Consistency.
The reason it can be a struggle is because we ( as social beings with an innate desire to connect to others) want to be liked, loved, appreciated, and accepted ( by individuals or wider society) and in order to achieve that (for some not all) it may mean compromising, or perhaps hiding, pretending, or moulding ourselves to fit the shape which we feel may best acquire or sustain, that which we crave. We also tend to be preservationists, yet quite selfish.. (war is testimony to that)
This approach may work, but we risk or happiness, and it’s not real..

I know what it’s like to not be accepted... to be criticized.. e.g.. too tall.. too opinionated, blah blah, so .. whilst I love my height, I remember going quiet for a while, until I was able to recognise that I am what i am, and that may not suit some, but suits me fine.
So at least now when I’m quiet, its because I’m in thought.. or just simply want to be. There still exists within me a desire to be accepted for who I am, ( which is different from a desire for acceptance)
For others to see what I see.. and to share what I know.. think, or feel... which for me, is more about connecting
All of this is an ongoing process, as we discover new things about ourselves all the time

Happy SMS x

Sunday Sunday.. ft The Melodians

It's cold and rainy outside. Still, its warm indoors so that's where I'll stay.
Read a little, and chill with some good music.
Enjoy this revival selection.. pretty sweet, and takes me back, memories imprinted on my mind, brought to the fore but the very first note.

Monday 17 September 2012

To know or not to know..

Ever wondered what life would be like if you really had little idea what you'd be doing from one day to the next.
Scary huh
Imagine if you were at the mercy of the elements, with no real protection.
Seeking solace in what we know makes sense right?
As what we don't know feels scary.
I had a guy try to read my palm once. Well he did actually, his hand touched mine for a second. I didn't like it, as I didn't ask him.

What he said stayed with me though
Bastard ( sure he's okay really) made me think about how I'd die.
Some things you don't need to know really.
Still, it's not something I dwell on at all.
But I do know that when I ruminate too much on knowing the unknown, its a headache.
I quite like order, plans, structure, but yet I also like flexibility.. its that Libran thing perhaps.

I'm trying to find a way to be at ease with the unknown. To trust in the universal order of things. Which for a questioning girl like me is bloody hard.
Music helps.

A little Ed Sheeran..

For anyone wondering why he's so popular
Hope you like

Sunday 16 September 2012

Still in revival mode.. ft Slim Smith

Tamlins.. Sunday revival selection

Not all wars are wrong.. ft Lauryn Hill

Some rebellions are necessary. I know that many people have put their lives on the line, or died just standing up for something or someone, a cause, or often simply to defend themselves and /or their families.
I can not evolve from my background and disregard the truth of my history.. the little that I know, or have access to.
You see, it's easy to be an arm chair critic, and say that war is wrong.
But in truth, if I were faced with the things that some people in war zones are faced with, it’s quite possible, I would feel very very different.
It’s easy to be complacent, when you’re unaffected.
When your family are safe and your fridge is full.
When you have a full tank of petrol, and perhaps a new pairs of shoes that make you feel ten feet tall!.

It’s easy to turn down the volume on the TV, or turn off the news completely.
Easy to assume that those who face difficulties do so purely as a result of choices they’ve made.
Whilst there is some truth in that, difficulties are also experienced as a result of the choices made by others. Even if that choice is simply to do nothing.

If someone hurt a member of your family, your son, daughter, husband or wife, it’s quite likely that you may want to respond in kind.
As I said, not all wars are wrong, but they can be avoided.

Some wars appear to represent simple mass unconsciousness or a childlike lack of self control, whilst others often, appear to be a result of too many people turning a blind eye to an issue that should have been addressed long ago.
Thinking it would go away. Grateful to be unaffected.
Until one day, they are.
Then war suddenly becomes the most natural expression in the world.

Saturday 15 September 2012


I read somewhere today that war is simply masculine energy out of control without the wisdom of the female.

I thought alot about balance today.
Read about the ways that authoritarian energy will always provoke rebellious energy.
Thought about people as icebergs, in that what is seen really is a very small aspect of who they are, as most is concealed.
Wondered why concealment is favoured, when in reality I suspect most people would like to have a deep connection with another, or others, and secretly hope to feel safe enough to be open without fear of judgement.

We are after all..interdependent

There's nothing that unbalances me more than feeling out of balance:). Which usually means I'm suppressing something, maybe some aspect of me wants to make itself known,is screaming to be set free, or perhaps I have a dilemma or question i cant answer.
It's 'my' month.. September...and true to my Libran self, I'm feeling a very strong pull towards balance.

Was the Spanish magazine trying to make a point? and if so.. what was it?

To discover that Princeton and Harvard Law school graduate, and Americas 1st lady Michelle Obama was portrayed in a Spanish magazine as a half naked slave was of no major surprise, more disappointing really. It's common knowledge to many people ( whether they admit it or not) that racial prejudiced is rife, and unfortunately common enough to become.. well common...subliminal.. yet occasionally quite blatant.
What a common identity does is attempt to naturalise, and neutralize desensitise.. disconnect emotional or rational responses to a point of apathy and eventual acceptance.

There's quite alot to like and admire about Michelle Obama (that's just my personal opinion based on what I've read, heard and see) I like her vibe. She's an intelligent lady, inspirational to many, delivers a great speech, looks good, and comes across very genuine, and down to earth, cool mother and wife.
So, what was the point, if they had one.
Spain has an interesting African history though right.

Sunday 9 September 2012

Group work

Im supposed to be writing an assignment on group work, and it's doing my head in.
I know what's required.. theories etc.. but I almost want to say.. 'a person or persons will want to dominate, others for sure cant be arsed.. and the rest will follow along. the end.

I wont of course.. I'll try my best to address each point with care and consideration. It's a little like wanting to play a board game at Christmas time, and having someone want to read the rules... to Ludo
Tough one this. lord have mercy somebody save me.

Why Bob Marley tracks never date..

I'll go out on a limb and state that my favourite album by Bob Marley is survival. with these ( tracks you wont get on the likes of heart radio etc...) amongst my most loved.. in no particular order.
kinda enjoying these this sunny day

Dawna's Sunday Song .. Bob Marley - Survivors

If you think you can.. you probably can

I'm not talking about flying or anything like that.. but simply the power of self belief.

I think self belief is innate in us all at birth, but is slowly eroded away as we grow.
The paradox of self belief is that often it stems from the belief others.. or someone has shown in 'us'. Whether that be a teacher, family member, or tramp on the street. At some point.. at sometime.. a positive exchange occurred that whether a person be conscious of it or not.. had a positive impact.

At some point, self doubt was removed as an obstacle, and belief became a realisation.

Which is why the things we say to others really does matter.

But what if a person never has that 'positive' encounter?? i hear you say... well... to repeat..often, they then lack self belief. This does not mean they will not achieve.. but the route to it may be thwart with the desire to crush or sabotage others, the display of an over inflated ego, or an odd lack of ease or naturality in their demeanour.

Can you ever get too much guidance?

Guidance is all well and good, but it can never replace self responsibility.

I wonder sometimes how much is too much. For example, a child can grow up in a nurturing environment yet still choose a path of what seems like self sabotage, whereas another child can grow in hardship, in a home devoid of love and support , yet pull it all together to achieve whatever they set out to, rejecting what may have seemed like a clear cut route to destruction and a repetition of history.
I think there are bigger things at play as to why things happen, and often if its meant to .. it will.

Spotlight on Ariwa Sounds.. Mad Professor/ aka Neil Fraser

The Ariwa Story