Saturday 15 October 2011

Parenthood...

My youngest has a girlfriend, which is really sweet and I’m very happy for him.
He's a lovely lad.
Yet ironically, ever since, we haven’t been getting on so great. Well it’s okay , but there has been a bit of ‘lip’ on occasion, a bit of cheek, which I’m not keen on, plus on a few occasions he’s waited all day to finally decide he wants to go out (when it’s late and dark) to a friend’s house.

That annoys me. It annoys me because his friend ( who I know well) now lives in a very dodgy area, and most people (all apart from my boy apparently) know that fiends come out at night.
He’s annoyed with me because he says I always put a damper on things... I’m annoyed because I thought he would have more sense, and the things I’m saying to him quite frankly, I shouldn't have to be saying at all... he should know.( he didn't just meet me!)

I asked him if he wants a parent who gives a damn or one who doesn’t give a damn.
According to him it’ll be okay because his mates recognise that he shouldn't be travelling late, so will pick him up in a car, driven by an older brother. (Like that’s supposed to make me feel better) I told him straight a passenger in a car has no power or control over anything, if the driver decides to take a detour; you’re stuck with it, (you'll be detouring too).. etc etc...
(I mentioned something about him being a puppet and others pulling the strings which didn’t go down too well.. especially as I did the actions!!)
Yes he’s of age. Yet for me there’s naivety, and then there's stupidity... and I’m struggling to work out which one I’m dealing with.
Yes I’m annoyed.

To be fair, when I was 18 I didn’t really listen to my parents. But it was a very different time, and I kinda ‘knew’ what I wanted etc.. I didn’t lack direction or drive, so my parents need not worry about me doing certain things. But looking back they must have been very afraid for me. I wasn’t even living at home then, I was long gone and with my children’s dad. ( which didn’t go so well)
I did take silly risks back in the day, and had no real sense of fear.

A few weeks ago his dad said I shouldn’t worry about these things, which I think is easy for him to say as he’s never really parented. He came up with some 'Christian type' reasoning of how he’ll be okay blah blah... no freakin’ help at all... as again I felt that would just make me look like the ‘bad guy’.
I never set out to be popular parent, just a parent, and being a parent sometimes means you will be unpopular. I feel he should have backed me up.
But then, maybe he has a point; maybe his laissez-faire’ style is the way to go.

Okay enough. If he wants to go, I’ll let him go.
I guess that’s what happens with kid’s right. At some point, you just have to let them go.
Is that why some of us start having children again when we thought we’d quit?
The upside is, I have me back... and my time really can be my own
Maybe I should just focus on the positives, and have faith I’ve raised a young man with sense
Parenthood eh.. who knew

(now that's off my chest..normal service shall resume after this post!)

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