Thursday 21 June 2012

Know how you like your eggs * this post is not about eggs*

The longest time I’ve ever been single is 10years... and I mean ‘proper’ single.

No sneaking 'uncle Johnny' up the backstairs ( if you know what I mean;)) just, single.

This seems to be met with an odd reaction whenever I say it. ( only when asked.. it’s not an announcement I make upon first meeting)
The main reaction is disbelief. Then .. .a look of wonderment... followed by ... hmmm.. I wonder, something wrong with her?.. or the ‘raised brow’ look of .. lesbian!?!.
No. I’m not a closet lesbian. I’m into men.( Yet ironically... perhaps during those ten years.. not enough..lol)

Seriously though...why does that seem odd to people?

After my last relationship, I wanted to take time out, get to know me, my likes and dislikes, feel secure enough in myself, without needing the validation of anyone.
Also.. not to f*** up by making the wrong bloody choice.
I also wanted to wait until I met someone who I was able to connect with on a deeper level...not just the physical.
After all... making love to another does not begin in the bedroom, but in the mind, the soul, the heart.
To be honest my plan was to take a year out, like a gap year... but that became two and so on... until I really didn’t even notice.
The desire to notch up many partners has never really appealed to me, and I liked the fact that I was able to discipline myself, and honour what I value.
It felt kinda cool

I decided I didn’t want to try to force fit ( no pun intended ) anyone, or pretend to be interested ( in another) when I wasn't.
You know.. laugh at unfunny jokes.. stifle a yawn..play deaf to any offensive views, or hide who I was.

Perhaps one way to explore your sexuality, is to explore and get to know fully.. who you are... and sometimes, to truly get a handle on things.. or.. to really appreciate something, you have to take a step back, and look at it. in its totality.
Like a work of Art.
Funny really, times have changed so much that it’s almost more acceptable to say you’ve been in and out of relationships, than to say you’ve decline the easy sexual encounter.
Anyway, it felt right for me at that time.
I know how I like my eggs ( so to speak) and what makes me tick.
Although there are new discoveries all the time

So people trust me.. it's really not odd at all.

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