A couple a conversations in the week had me thinking. Both issues relate to ‘being black’.
The first subject I’ve touched on before but it came up again yesterday and today... in fact... it never seems to go away. ..So it’s more of a request which requires a change of attitude.
Why are black woman expected to be strong?...
In fact... it’s often demanded of them... be strong or die.
Why?... are they not just simply expected and allowed to BE??...
Why is BEING... not enough?
I’ve never heard the phrase ‘strong white woman’... ever!! .. well .. ummm..perhaps Maggy Thatcher.. but come on.. she was running the freakin’ country.. and lets be honest.. she had shed-loads of help.. both at work and at home!.
Anyway..if we flip it on its head... when did being 'weak' become the norm...
In truth, we ALL possess strengths and weaknesses.
But a black woman’s ‘weaknesses’ aren’t as endearing... seem attractively exploitable...and in the main , appear highly unacceptable.
My request?? It’s not on... stop being racist...sort it out.
Because truth is, what is subconsciously being said is that 'black women' are like men.
I call it the defeminisation of the black woman.
Second thing is...
Although I would argue that racism impacts on EVERY black persons life... ironically... when asked if i’ve ever experienced racism from white people... I really had to think..
In truth... perhaps in my lifetime... only once
(Some NF guys in a van after an ASWAD concert many many years ago late at night... they shouted something... I think it was the N word..we were a bit worried as it was a secluded area... I wasn’t worried at first and when to shout something back, but our (band) manager panicked and quickly put a stop to that... we walked very very quickly to a safer place.. oddly..having to walk fast .. made me feel fear)
Or perhaps twice
(When I used to run for a club and when asked who won the race my so called ‘team mate’ pointed and said... that black girl... despite knowing my name)
Or perhaps three times... expressed mainly in attitudes....and a reluctance to embrace without judgement.
All of which I’m accustomed to...
Other than that.... no!!:)
*ummm nearly forget all the others times.... but No!! :)
My friend asked me how and why I can be so comfortable talking about racism, as she gets very very angry... she then attributed it to the fact that I haven’t really experienced it.. Unlike her, who attended an all white school and was constantly called all kinds of names etc.
I accepted her view.
Because, thinking back .. (for awhile)..my best friend was the boy next door who was Turkish (he moved) ... and over the years, it’s never really been an issue(for me)
We then realised that I’ve probably experienced more 'shadism' than racism. Wow ... I thought... that’s so true. I’ve had more experiences of 'black on black shadism’ than anything else. My friend... who is not very dark hasn’t.
How messed up.
I also realised that I’m less tolerant of black people who express that kind of ignorance, and discriminatory 'shadist' attitude, than of 'white racism'.
Why?? My experiences.
Which means... when a 'white' person seems not to care or 'understand' racism... it’s not necessarily because they don’t want to... it’s just not been their lived experience, so... it would take a lot for them to fully comprehend.
What I question more and more is not even necessarily racism, but 'white privilege'. The fact that a white person will never really question the opportunities they’ve had in life, the relative ease of their lives (not all but most in comparison) and the freedom they have to just BE... and BE accepted, because.. Its ‘normal', it’s always been that way, should be that way, they know nothing else, and they have a right.
Problems occur when a 'white person' then truly believes that the reason others have not achieved as they have, or seemly fail to exploit opportunities is because that person is not up to the mark, sub standard, or lazy..hence the deepening of racism and racist attitudes.
A failure to recognise 'white privilege' as the norm in society, is the issue.
NB Ive had to come back to this post...
I was out shopping today and had a though( sad yeah I know :)..
I've never actually personally experienced that much 'shadeism' either.. but have seen it around me.. lots) most folk, if i'm hones,t have been okay with me... so....
My feelings stem from the experiences of others.. I feel that, so talk about it
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