Friday 9 December 2011

Confidence..

There are times when I've thought.. there are two types of people in this world..
those who are confident.. and those who are not..
I used to think you can spot them easily.. there they are..the confident ones

They run the country.. run businesses, run their lives the way they want, take charge, and get things done..
But that's not necessarily true..
Those who 'run things' are not necessarily any more confident than anyone else.. they just get things done..
For the purpose of this post lets just call them 'starter finishers'..
They start something - and they finish it.
They're not quitters
They see things through to the end.. they are resilient, they have focus, and if at first they don't succeed, they try again.. sometimes they change tact.. but they try again

I'm quite fortunate in the work that I do that I get to meet lots of people from all types of backgrounds..
and in life in general.. people tend to talk to me about all manner of things... I really appreciate that.. they are so open with me, and I respect that.. as they have taught me much..

Confidence is a funny thing...
It's easily eroded.. and over time, a lack of it can really be a barrier to achieving what you truly desire in life..

I meet amazing people who tell me they're not confident.. and it baffles me
Then I meet those who appear confident yet are riddled with insecurities..
I meet some who manipulate those who lack confidence in order to get their own way and I've watched those who lack confidence...let them!
Quite a sad reality really..

In my 'space' I feel very confident ( i'll always be shy..but confident)
outside of my own space.. I'm less sure. This, I think is because whilst I know and trust my motives...I can never be sure of the motives of another... so I may feel uneasy
That feeling we get is what we sometimes confuse with lacking confidence
Feeling uneasy is not necessarily anything to do with confidence
But paradoxically confidence can help to over come that uneasy feeling.

Can you teach confidence?
Not sure..I'm not convinced you can
I think it's important to unearth the root cause/s.. for a person to understand why they feel the way they do..

Sometimes it stems from childhood experiences.. other times it's a series of unfortunate events, lack of meaningful friendships/relationships.. abuse.. you name it..
Personally, I believe that feeling good about yourself is a deeply spiritual process
Getting to know yourself well.. and being honest with yourself, is a great starting point

In the words of Bob Marley.. 'you're running and you're running.. but you can't run away from yourself!

4 comments:

  1. I think your comment is true to some extent......and that erosion can only be caused by the individual!!!

    Confidence is a funny thing...
    It's easily eroded.. and over time, a lack of it can really be a barrier to achieving what you truly desire in life..

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  2. I hear ya!!
    you know some people say that no one can make you feel bad unless you let them... but again i'm not so sure..
    you see.. e.g if you love someone, and they hurt you.. and you cry.. you didn't cause that pain!! it was inflicted.. and usually .. unwanted.. look at post colonial insecurities.. oppresion..again.. not self inflicted

    Bullying.. and the impact that can have..
    I hear what you're saying... have to think about that.. as were social beings.. and the actions of others will impact on us.. no?

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  3. Dawna OK post comment I can see your point, on other people can inflict pain because they can without your choice.......but I think coming out of the negative vibes with a positive attitude is what am talking about.

    The attitude which doesn't turn one angry, bitter and twisted and resentful of others later in life....thats the way I call giving an elbow more confidence!!!

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  4. Ah yes.. I see what you're saying
    very true!

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